Killian chuckled.
They continued in silence for a while. Having relaxed a little, Kade no longer jumped at every sight and sound and instead he watched in wonder as the hedges bent around them. Their spindly branches untwining and snaking around to open a path just a few meters in front of them, never showing them too much of what lies ahead.
The fog drifted lazily around them, moving in whispers of floating waves.
The other elf was working himself up to say something, Killian could tell by the way his hand twitched against his back. A nervous energy. So Killian waited and walked, and when Kade teetered to a stop, pulling Killian’s uniform tight against his chest and stomach, he didn’t fight to push forward.
“I don’t have to do this,” said Kade in a small voice, like he didn’t want Killian to hear. “Say the word and I can go. I’ll find a master in the city. I-I’ll go.”
Killian’s heart squeezed in his chest. “Do you want to go?”
“No,” Kade’s voice cracked, “But I think you might want me to.”
“What?” Killian turned. “Why would you think that?”
Fixing him with a flat stare, Kade said, “Oh, I don’t know. How about the fact that you never wanted me to apprentice under Hokda in the first place? Or how you were against me taking this test. Against me going to the king. You told me to go back to Turell. You don’t want me here, do you?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like?” Kade challenged, meeting Killian eye to eye, chest to chest.
They were so close.
Unwillingly, Killian’s eyes flickered to Kade’s lips and then away just as quickly. He swallowed. Slowly, he spoke as much of his truth as he could bear, because Kade deserved that. “I want you here, but I don’t know how to have you here. This place—Ingara, the palace—it’s dangerous. More dangerous than you know. Especially for you.”
“Why?”
“Because of who you are. Because of who I am. Because of who you are to me. And if something happened to youbecauseof me… Kade, I wouldn’t survive it. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” It was only half of the reason, but it was all Killian could give. “So maybe you’re right, maybe some part of me wants you to go, but only to keep you safe. I never wanted this life for you.”
Kade was scowling and he was chewing the inside of his cheek.
Killian pinched him lightly. “Don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself.”
“You never said.” Kade glared at him. “You never saidanything.”
“It’s your choice, your life. My worries aren’t your burden to bear.”
Kade rolled his eyes.
It startled Killian to realize that he’d never actually told Kade that he was glad to see him. It had beenWhat the fuck, Kade?andWhat were you thinking, Kade? but never once had he saidIt’s nice to see youorI’m so, so happy you’re here with meorthank you for coming back to me. He’d made Kade question his place in Killian’s life, in his heart, and that was unacceptable.
“I’m happy you’re here,” Killian said, putting everything he could muster into the words. “I really am. Know that whatever you choose, I’ll back you, no matter what.”
There was a sharp intake of breath, and then Kade was leaning in to rest his head on Killian’s shoulder. “What if I fail?”
Killian had forgotten that Kade was soft, he wasn’t like the guards that Killian surrounded himself with everyday, gruff and hard elves, soldiers. Or the nobility that floated through thecourt when they visited, cold and distant and cunning. Or the king, who for all his warmth could be just as cruel. Kade wasn’t like them, he needed assurance and care. He craved it more than anything.
“Then we’ll ride back to Turell and beat Sila until he sells you back the vineyard.” Killian laughed when Kade groaned. More seriously, he said, “We’ll figure it out. Together.”
Sprawling over hundreds of acres, life grew in droves. Flora of all shapes and sizes dug their roots into the fertile soil and stretched towards the sky above them. Vines and branches grew intertwined, climbing the trees and covering the ground, a lush jungle of every color imaginable.
Elven and animal worn paths curled around the area, a drag path through the brush most traveled by Fyar and the creatures that called this place home. One entity, breathing together. It was too perfect to be wild, and too wild to be contained. Fyar knew every plant by name and property and could tell you exactly where it was within the chaos. He’d planted each and every one by his own hand.
Killian smiled as Kade gaped like a fish. He barely blinked as he turned in a slow circle, like he was trying to absorb everything all at once.
The night sky was dotted with yellow and red fyreflies, their glow adding an otherworldly allure to the sacred space.
Nestled in the center—the deepest, wildest part of the garden, lay a marble pavilion overlooking the small pond that stirred with lotus and bright underwater creatures of orange and purple and white. Twelve white columns held up a marbled roof, where brights of green and purple and pink crawled upand through the awnings and hung down over the benches that were nestled safely under the stone.
