“But Icandefinitely go back if I choose to?”
“Yes.” He paused. “Is that what you want?”
I gnawed at the inside of my cheek as I contemplated it. “I think so,” I finally said. “Distance learning has been fine, but I miss being on campus. Going to actual classes and lectures. I even miss Professor Grey, believe it or not.”
Julian leaned down and pressed a kiss on my forehead. “Then you’ll go back,” he said. “We’ll arrange it after the training period ends.”
“Speaking of which, what’s going to be in the rest of the training?” I asked. “We’ve already covered so much stuff.”
“I think the last four weeks covers some basic language training, because most Selection girls end up traveling a lot with their partners. Some cultural stuff, too,” he said. “Pretty sure there's also a module on hosting formal events. Dinner parties, galas, things like that.”
I groaned. “Oh god, I hope that's not the third trial. Hosting a formal dinner party on my own.” I covered my face with my hands. “Even justattendinglast night's party stressed me to the max.”
Julian gently pulled my hands away from my face and kissed my forehead again. “You’ll get used to it eventually,” he said. “But don’t worry. That’s not what the third trial is.”
“Yeah, I guess they wouldn’t name a dinner party the Anteros ritual,” I mused, brows pulling together. “So… whatisit, exactly? The instructors haven’t really told us anything about it. They gave us a date, and that’s it.” I blew out a frustrated breath. “I’m worried it’s going to be super hard because it’s the last one.”
Julian was quiet for a moment. “I can’t tell you about the third trial,” he finally said. “I would if I could.”
I sat up and looked at him. “You really can’t tell me anything at all?”
“No. Sorry.”
“Not even a sliver of a hint?” I asked, widening my eyes pleadingly.
I knew I was being annoying, but Julian obviously knew what the Anteros ritual was, and I was desperate to know. Even the smallest hint about it could ease my nerves.
He pulled me back against him, holding me to his chest. “I guess I can tell you one thing,” he said. “It’s not really a trial at all. At least not for you. But it could still be very hard for you. Or it could be easy. I guess you’ll see when you get there.”
I blinked, mind spinning. “Um. That tells me… basically nothing.”
“I know. I wish I could be more helpful.”
“Will you at least be there for it?” I asked. “To watch me?”
A smile curved up his lips, and he nodded. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I’ll be there.”
48
Violet
Four weekslater
The knockon my door came at exactly seven o'clock.
I'd been sitting on the edge of my bed for twenty minutes, staring at my hands and trying to calm the nervous flutter in my stomach. Tonight was the Anteros ritual. The third and final trial, though Julian had insisted it wasn't really a trial at all.
I still had no idea what he meant by that.
The door opened to reveal Taisiya. She carried a garment bag over one arm and held a large velvet box in her other hand. “Miss Calloway,” she said. “I’m here to help you get ready for the Anteros ritual.”
“I don’t suppose you can tell me anything about it, can you?” I asked, raising a brow.
She gave me a small smile and shook her head. “No, sorry.”
She hung the garment bag on the closet door and unzipped it, revealing the gown inside. It was stunning. White silk, flowing and elegant, with delicate embroidery along the bodice that looked almost like vines or flowers.
Once I was dressed, Taisiya opened the velvet box to reveal a delicate laurel crown made of gold. She placed it carefully on my head, adjusting it until it sat perfectly. Then she stepped back and studied me with an appraising eye.
