I carefully removed the circlet and set it on the vanity. Tomorrow, I'd have to make my decision. But tonight... tonight I could just exist in the space between fear and desire, between what I should want and what I actually did want.
Tonight, I could just dream.
37
Violet
The morning after the trial,I woke with a decision already made.
I'd dreamed of Julian again. Not the heated, desperate dreams of the past month, but something quieter. We'd been sitting together in a sunlit room, just talking. Nothing dramatic, nothing earth-shattering. Just... being together.
When I opened my eyes, I knew what I wanted to do.
I asked one of the staff members to deliver a message to Julian.Lunch in my room, if you're free.
Simple. Non-committal enough that I wouldn't feel trapped if I changed my mind. But an opening nonetheless. His response came back within minutes:I'll be there.
He arrived exactly at noon, carrying a tray of food that he set down on the table by the window. Lunch for two: grilled chicken salad, fresh bread, fruit, and two glasses of iced tea.
“I asked the kitchen to make something light,” he said. “Figured you might not have much of an appetite after... everything.”
He was right. My stomach was in knots.
We sat across from each other, and for a moment, neither of us spoke. The silence between us felt heavy, loaded with everything that had happened last night. Everything we'd done. Everything we’d said or hadn't said.
Julian looked different in the daylight streaming through my windows. Less like the dark, dangerous figure who'd hunted me through the forest and more like... just a man. A very,veryattractive man who was currently watching me with a guarded expression, like he was worried about saying the wrong thing.
I picked at my salad, trying to find the words to start this conversation. The awkwardness between us was palpable, but it wasn't entirely uncomfortable. It felt more like anticipation.
“How was the post-trial meeting with the Council this morning?” Julian asked, finally breaking the silence.
“It was fine,” I said. “They told us the big secret about the Reapers in return for the secrets we gave them last night, and I pretended to look shocked like the other girls. Most of them, anyway. I noticed that one of them didn’t really look surprised.”
He nodded. “Sometimes Reapers choose a girl descended from one of the founding families, and those girls already know everything about the Club before the Selection.”
“Oh.” I frowned. “I thought you were supposed to pick someone with a more diverse background. New blood, or whatever Roman said.”
“It’s encouraged, but a Reaper’s pick is always his choice, no matter who she is,” he replied. “Take your friend Jeremiah, for instance. His stepfather’s first wife was from a founding family.”
“Oh, right. I remember him saying something about Daniel’s mother coming from a big old-money family,” I said, nodding slowly. I took a slow sip of iced tea, weighing up my next words. Then I cleared my throat and lifted my chin. “So, um… I was wondering. Who would you have picked for the Selection if you hadn’t met me?”
Julian smiled faintly, like he knew exactly why I was asking. “That’s a good question,” he said, rubbing his jaw. “And the honest answer is: I don’t know. I always figured I’d pick someone the same way so many other Reapers do. Based on pragmatic stuff. Not feelings. Because I never thought I’d…” He trailed off. “Never thought I’d meet someone like you,” he finally continued. “Or have those feelings. For anyone. You were a real surprise, Violet.”
His words settled over me, warm and confusing.A real surprise. He'd said it like I'd disrupted his entire life plan, thrown everything off course. But not in a bad way. A welcome way that had changed everything for the better.
I carefully set down my glass, mind spinning. There was still so much I didn't understand about us, about how we'd gotten here, about whether what I was feeling was real or just some twisted result of everything that had happened between us.
“There’s something else I’ve been wondering about,” I said softly. “Since last night.”
“Yeah?”
I cast my eyes downward and swallowed hard before I spoke up. “Do you think I’m like you?”
“Likeme? Fuck no. You’re the complete opposite,” he said. “And that’s a good thing, by the way. Why do you ask?”
“Well, you heard my secret at the trial. You know what I did,” I said, voice shaking slightly. “So… at the very least, you must think I’m a complete hypocrite for finding the Reaper thing so shocking, when the whole time I’ve been a killer myself.”
Julian reached over and tilted my chin upward so I was forced to look at him. “You’re not a killer, Violet. And neither was your sister.”
