Tracker stared at him without blinking. His expression stabbed Crisp through the heart and made Crisp feel even more like he had middle child syndrome.
He couldn’t take it. “I love you, guys. Nothing has changed.”
Foster was always the on-the-sidelines quiet one. While Foster had learned he had genuine blood-related brothers amongst the group, he hadn’t changed. But he sure as hell ended up being the one who exploded. “Fuck all of that, Crisp. We might not have been needed through every planning session, and worked alone, but fuck that. You are part of this family. Tidy and you deserved better from everyone. I don’t give a good goddamn if anyone wasbusy or working on themselves, you fucking deserved better.” For being the quiet one, he had a lot to say because he didn’t stop. His fury was epic. “I’m here. We’ve spent countless nights talking all night. Until now, I didn’t realize how much those nights were always all about me, and I’m sorry. I owe you more.” He swept his arm wide, nearly taking Scout out in the process. “Everyone in this fucking room owes you and Tidy more.” He eyed every brother as he ranted. “Who do you think has kept your asses out of prison?” He stabbed himself in the chest with his index finger. “It’s been us. We’re not ghosts because you guys kill quickly and quietly. We’re untouchable because Tidy and Crisp have made sure everything you have done has vanished while I stood guard.” Foster violently motioned toward Jay. “This guy was left for dead because of our actions. He’s every bit the victim of Kuznetsov as we are. Heisus. Now I don’t know him, but Atticus had nothing but good things to say when he broke the news to me. While we’ve been focusing on ourselves—which I know we’re all equally owed—Jay has been traveling the world with Crisp and Tidy. He’s given all his focus and time where none of you have. He loves Crisp. Crisp deserves—”
“I love quite a few of you too.” Jay spoke the words quietly and calmly, sounding sure and earnest. Every head turned his way. Once he had the floor, Jay kept going. “It’s not lost on me we met badly the first time around. My commander had sent me to do a job. I don’t know why I was chosen for his obvious setup. I was a graduate of the program years before any of you.” His eyes flickered toward Zeus. “Except for you, of course.”
Crisp watch Zeus’ spine stiffen. It hit him that the pair had the same training and were around the same age. They had likely trained side by side.
Jay didn’t wait for Zeus to confirm any of Crisp’s thoughts. “My point is, I hadn’t heard of you, your escape, or the reasons for it until it was too late for me. While I can’t sit here and say I would’ve made different choices if I had known the real reason I was sent, I can say I had already begun plotting my own escape from the program.” He looked Crisp’s way. “Every single day of torture afterward was worth it because I ended up here. You are so easy to love.”
Tears pricked the backs of Crisp’s eyes at the words.
Jay focused on the room again. “Then I slowly met some of you one by one. Jett and Tidy fully embraced me as if I were family.” He motioned toward Foster. “I know so much about you, it feels like I’ve known you forever, yet you know nothing of me. Your husband is so perfect for you. It made me very sad not to have a seat at your wedding and watch you get your happy beginning.”
He looked Crisp’s way again. “It breaks my heart every time I think about how you didn’t get that. You deserved to have your family witness our vows too. I wish I could’ve given you that.”
He returned to addressing the room. “Clay and Scout have been amazing, and Fabrice is a fucking treasure. He and Austen have gone above and beyond for me. I’m certain neither of them believed I was worth it at first, but they helped keep me alive anyhow.” A sad smile passed over Jay’s lips. “I’ve watched Crisp mourn the loss of you. He’s been steeped in guilt. We decided earlier today that we would tell you about me in the morning, so as not to ruin Foster and Atticus’ wedding. Sorry life has a cruel sense of humor.” Another mournful smile passed over his lips. “I don’t know how to heal this. But I know no one could love Crispmore than I do, and I want him to have all of you too. He and Tidy have hurt badly since those results. It’s no one’s fault, but I also agree with Foster. It’s been hard as hell to helplessly watch their hearts break while you did nothing to stop it. That is very sad considering how much he loves everyone in this room.”
Crisp couldn’t look away from Jay. No doubt Jay hadn’t won any points in his favor for that speech, but Crisp had never felt more seen. Crisp glanced Tidy’s way. His light green eyes were focused on Jay with the same expression Crisp likely wore. Jay had stepped in when everyone else stepped out. They had won the lottery by having him.
Still, Crisp couldn’t let all the guilt in the room he saw stand. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. “I’m sorry.”
Tidy took over. “Me too. We fully recognize that we didn’t fight. It was like those results proved everything we had always known to be true. We made the decision to stay here and not return to California with the family with open eyes. Crisp and I didn’t try—”
Tracker stood, stopping Tidy’s confessions. Without a word, he moved to their side of the room. He went down on his knees between them and pulled them in for a hug. “I swear you two have never been invisible to me. I love you guys so freaking much. We should never have taken that test. I swear the results changed nothing in my heart.” Tears spilled over Tracker’s lashes through the speech, making Crisp cry. Crisp realized the problem wasn’t those test results or Jay. Every issue they had was a lack of communication. As hugs, apologies, and tears made their rounds, Crisp felt drained in a way hecouldn’t vocalize. This was his family. He would die for them. It had always been that way. They had just gotten a little lost along the way. All the years of doing whatever it took to survive and then paving a pathway to individual happiness had caused cracks they hadn’t noticed until it was too late. Memories of the way they had once leaned on each other and been unbreakable filled Crisp’s head. He had needed this family meeting more than he could have ever known. They weren’t broken. Nothing could break them.
Henry strolled into the room, unsuccessfully wiping blood from his hands and forearms. He seemed oblivious to their family healing session. “They’re part of the Irish drug ring.”
A groan went up from the guards.
Henry didn’t stop there. “They weren’t after Jay. Beau was their ultimate target. They just spotted Jay and Crisp and took advantage of an opportunity.”
A lot of head-shaking went around the room. Crisp met Tracker’s stare. What fresh new hell would they face now? At least they were together. The Agafonov brothers never lost against anyone as long as they had each other’s back, and they always would.
Chapter Thirteen
Hiskitchenhadlongsince fallen silent. It was nearing sunrise, but still an hour away from any kitchen staff arriving for the day. Crisp and Jay had gone with Austen to get proper care. Everyone else still lingered in the family room, quietly discussing the past few years. Fabrice hung here: the one place he knew he belonged.
The countertops were spotless. Fresh fruit waited to be chopped to go with breakfast. Everything was at a standstill. He breathed in the peace.
Tidy strolled in with his hands shoved in his pockets. He looked relaxed in a way Fabrice hadn’t seen in a while. He wasn’t surprised when he found himself embraced in a hug. Tidy wasn’t a large guy. He didn’t stand out in crowds. Tidy had been trained to be invisible. He was average, with a nice smile and a great sense of humor. Tidy was very much the guy who slipped pastdefenses and ended up embedded in someone’s life before they realized it happened.
“I’ve missed you. Have you enjoyed your travels?”
Tidy laughed softly against his hair. “You say that as if I haven’t called you nearly every day.” He pulled away and leaned against the island, giving Fabrice his full attention. That was the real danger with Tidy. He made Fabrice feel seen and as if they were the only two people who existed in the world. He was Fabrice’s friend and left him with a lot of mixed emotions.
“Phone calls don’t allow me to see the joy in your eyes.” And fuck, they were beautiful eyes. Light green framed by thick lashes. That was the physical feature that made Tidy memorable.
“You could’ve come with us. Crisp and Jay would’ve been totally cool with that.”
A sad smile tugged at the corners of Fabrice’s mouth. “That’s not an option I have, but I appreciate the sentiment. My place is here, in charge of the kitchens I never would’ve had without Beau.”
Tidy’s gaze moved over him. “Where’s your sexy little chef’s jacket? Surely you’re not working without it, Chef Fabrice.”
“I’m not working. My shift doesn’t start for another hour. This is just my happy place. I know that’s not something you can understand.”
“This is your dream.” Kirkland appeared from nowhere. He was sneaky like that. Kirkland had spent his life as Atticus’ butler and now—theoretically—he lived the good life free from duty. As far as Fabrice could tell, he still acted as if he worked for the household.
