That was what it was. Crisp had been set to infiltrate the upper crust using fame. No doubt there were a few blackmailed industry professionals set to cast him in any role before he had escaped. Jay had been right. Crisp had been meant to use his appearance against others.
“What about you? Is Jay the call name you were given? What were you doing in the world for our country?” Crisp saidour countrywith heavy sarcasm.
No, Jay wouldn’t talk about that. He hardened his expression. “This isn’t a two-way conversation. I’m trying to discern why you believe it’s okay to be weak.”
Crisp rolled his eyes and stood. “Let me drag my flabby body to the main kitchen to steal some of tonight’s dinner. You know the drill. Don’t get out of that bed. If you’re seen on this property, you’re dead. Just chill out. Maybe find something to listen to onTV since you can’t see it. I’ll be back before you have time to miss me.”
Jay snorted. Unfortunately, the moment he was alone, Jay felt isolated. He could hobble around the room a little. Jay definitely felt like pacing. He didn’t have his strength back yet, so that option was out. Giving in to restlessness, Jay tapped what fingers he had left on his right hand. He tried not to look too closely at himself. It didn’t matter that he now looked the way he did on the inside, on the outside too. What did looks matter? Such a useless commodity. Unfortunately, not for him, though. An image of Crisp hovering over him, coming to his rescue, flashed through his mind. Those soft, concerned eyes and full lips. Damn. His dick stirred. No one could have been more surprised than he was. Plus, it wasn’t necessarily a good sensation. There were so many places that hadn’t healed. One wild thought led to the next. The reflection he caught quick glimpses of in the mirror now had no business thinking of Crisp in any way whatsoever. If this were a different life and they were different people, then maybe… no. That line of thinking was ridiculous. Crisp took care of him for reasons totally his own. Someone beautiful like him wouldn’t even glance Jay’s way on the street now. Even before Jay had turned out looking like Frankenstein, and with all his skill, he likely still hadn’t stood a chance. Jay had never been ugly. He lacked a kindness Crisp deserved. In that sense, there were still varying leagues, and Crisp was a universe out of his reach.
Jay growled and ran his fingers through his hair. He winced at the still-sensitive nub of his finger. His thoughts were dumb today. He had to stop. Maybe he needed food more than he realized. The hunger made him weak-minded.
Crisp reappeared in the doorway. He had two water bottles tucked between the crook of his arm and torso, allowing him to carry two plates. The way his stomach kept growling said a lot, and none of his thoughts had a damn thing to do with the delicious scent of food filling the room.
“Chef Fabrice made chicken piccata. Wait ‘til you taste it. So fucking good.”
Jay could admit he had eaten nothing but five-star meals since landing in Crisp’s bed. His mind screeched to a halt. Even as he accepted the plate handed to him, Jay looked around, studying the room. He had been on a few slow walks around Crisp’s apartment or room or whatever the hell this was supposed to be. As far as he had seen, Crisp only had one bed. Where had Crisp been sleeping? He always closed the door between them when Jay slept. Did he have a man? A woman? Why had he insisted on not getting to know Crisp? It felt like a rock dropped in his stomach. His breaths quickened. Did Crisp leave and go to someone else?
Crisp stroked his hand down Jay’s arm, pulling him from the thoughts he drowned in. “Are you okay? I can get you something different to eat.”
Jay sucked in an audibly shaky breath, making the situation worse. He had to stop whatever this was. “No. I don’t know what happened.”
An understanding smile touched Crisp’s lips. “It’s okay. I get it. While I understand why you don’t want to talk to me, I camefrom the same place you did. The first year after our escape, I had no clue what life would look like for us. There was little doubt we’d be hunted. We had no money and no hope, honestly. It was a nightmare. I didn’t understand anything about the real world. Even through all the horrible things I’d seen and done, everything still felt too loud and overwhelming. There was never a moment any of us felt like we could rest. It’ll take time for you too, but I didn’t have anyone who had been in my shoes to help me. You do. If you decide you want to do anything more than huff all day, just say the word.”
So Crisp hadn’t been so engrossed in his books as not to hear Jay’s sighing. He didn’t know how to feel about that. Rather than trying to figure it out, he tried the chicken instead. It was good, but no more or less than anything Crisp had fed him. He hadn’t concerned himself with the flavor of food before Crisp. When he got hungry, he ate whatever was convenient. Meals weren’t something to be enjoyed. Jay didn’t look too closely at that. Instead, he put his fork down and picked up Crisp’s book. He had to bring the pages embarrassingly close to his face to make out the small print. It didn’t take him long to figure out the gist of what he saw.
“Oh.” He set the book back on the nightstand. “It’s smut. Odd choice.”
Crisp huffed. “It’s a mystery that just happens to include romance. Romance isn’t smut.”
It took Jay a moment to realize his comment had genuinely upset Crisp. Now he felt something else unfamiliar that he didn’t want: guilt.
Even to Crisp’s ears, his response had sounded childish, but damn. He should be allowed to enjoy things. God knew there was no romance in his life. The least this existence could do for him was let him get lost in a fictional world where things didn’t feel the way they did here.
“Is the story good?”
Not only did Jay’s question surprise him, but he also didn’t trust it. While Jay hadn’t been unkind to him, he also hadn’t been friendly. Distrust rolled from him all hours of the day, even when he slept. Crisp got it, but damn. It had been a month, and Crisp hadn’t let him down. Crisp honestly didn’t know how much more of this cold shoulder routine he could take. His life was lonely. Normally, he could block that out with books. With Jay’s constant huffing and sighing interruptions, all Crisp felt was annoyance and general dissatisfaction. He was tired. Still, Jay’s question sounded oddly serious.
Crisp shrugged. “It’s not the first time I’ve read this one. I know how it ends, but new books haven’t been holding my interest lately. Sometimes I prefer the comfort of a familiar read.”
“Let me guess. The butler did it.”
Jay’s deadpan statement pulled a surprise laugh from Crisp. There was a personality beneath his shell. “Not exactly.” Crisp couldn’t hide the chuckle beneath his response.
“Am I in your bed?”
The sudden veer in topic threw Crisp off for a moment. He was slow to answer. “Yes.”
“You sound unsure.”
Crisp really wished he could see the way Jay’s brain worked. “No. I’m not unsure. You’re in my bed.”
Jay nodded. “Where do you sleep?”
“In that bed,” Crisp answered, hearing the confusion is his own voice, but really. Why ask him the same question in a different way? Was this some sort of mind trick?
Jay held his stare as if he were dealing with an imbecile. “Where are you sleeping, with me stealing your bed?”
“Oh.” So maybe Jay dealt with a dumbass. “Some nights right here in this chair, depending on how you’re holding up. The rest of the time, I sleep on the couch.”
