Crisp sat forward. “But that’s the thing; I’m not. I could tell you hundreds of stories just like that one where Tidy, Foster, and I saved each other through the darkest of shit, and I just lied to Foster. The worst part is, it wasn’t even hard because I did it for you.”
Jay nodded, as if he mulled over Crisp’s words. “You should leave me here.”
Crisp wanted to growl. “What? I’m not about to do that. Not only are you vulnerable and in my care right now, but you fucking matter to me.”
Jay’s jaw took on a stubborn tilt. “Leave me. I’m not worth what you’re doing to yourself. You’re endangering the most important relationships in your life for someone who tried to hurt your family. It’s only a matter of time before they learn about me. What happens then? Do they kill me, or do I kill them? There’s no good ending here unless you walk away now. Save yourself. You’re worth more than I am.”
Tears filled Crisp’s eyes at the conviction in Jay’s tone. He fully believed he wasn’t worth fighting for, and that was exactly why he was worth it. Crisp stood. He crawled onto the bed and straddled Jay. The way Jay’s body moved slightly toward him as if mindlessly gravitating in his direction was the final piece snapping into place. It was such a subtle, unconscious move, but it was a real one, and Crisp fell in love a little deeper.
He ran his hands up Jay’s chest. Jay’s hands found Crisp’s hips. Crisp stared down at his future. Jay loved him more than he loved himself. He was serious about sacrificing himself to spare Crisp a heartache down the road. “You’re so incredibly sexy. Have I told you that?”
Jay smiled. A bit of the heaviness lifted from the room.
Crisp didn’t stop. “If I wrote a book about you, I’d spend seventeen pages describing every detail of you.”
Jay laughed.
Crisp smiled at the sound. “I’d rush into a pack of wolves to save you in the middle of Serbia where you definitely were for no discernible reason.”
Jay laughed harder.
Crisp couldn’t look away. He turned serious. “Foster will forgive me. That’s who we are. Tidy knows about you and has let it go. I’m choosing this.” Crisp leaned in and swept his lips across Jay’s. “You’re stubborn.” Jay huffed at Crisp’s claim, but Crisp kept going. He kissed Jay again. “But to me, you’re so fucking worth every aggravation.”
Jay growled. “You’re not making this sound—”
Crisp kissed him, stealing Jay’s ability to keep arguing. He swiped his tongue across Jay’s, licking and exploring. He pulled away just enough to speak. “For the record, you’re still in charge. I just really want this kiss.”
Jay rolled, tucking Crisp beneath him. He gave Crisp the kiss he craved, and then some. He shaped the lines of Crisp’s body with his hand, as if memorizing him. Time slipped away along with all the world’s worries. Maybe Crisp didn’t know how to get to a place where they never had to hide, but he wasn’t losing Jay. Not now that he had finally found the missing piece of himself. They had spent months building something completely unexpected. This was permanent, even if they had to vanish to keep it.
Chapter Seven
Itfeltoddwanderingaround the room with Crisp gone to California. Two whole days. They hadn’t been apart that long in the year they had lived together. He hated this. Jay was bored. With months of healing, his eyesight was good enough for him to see the TV. Crisp had encouraged him to spend the time he had alone binging some show he recommended or reading one of his books. Even though he could do those things, staring too long at anything anymore gave him a migraine. So Jay paced and fretted. Crisp was in California for Tracker’s wedding. That had emptied the entire household except for a skeleton crew. There was a small kitchen area, and Crisp had made sure the fridge was filled with food before he left.
Jay snorted. The noise sounded hollow in the empty space. Maybe he really was the pet Beau accused him of being. He couldn’t do it. Jay couldn’t stay cooped up for the rest of the night. Still, he waited until the sun went down.
Jay had been slipping on and off the property more and more often. He had used those trips to gather new tactical gear, making it even easier for him to move freely in the darkness while also keeping his face hidden from any possible camera angle. Jay dressed carefully and grabbed a backpack. He opened the door to find Jett standing on the other side. His hand was raised as if he intended to knock. He looked every bit as surprised as Jay felt when they came face to face.
Jett eyed his getup. “Okay, Bane. Where are you headed? You do realize everyone here knows about you and you’re free to come and go as you please, right?”
Jay blinked. “Why do you call me this? I don’t know what this Bane is.” Still, Jay took a step back, silently inviting Jett inside.
A bright smile lit Jett’s face. “All you spies are so uncultured. What did y’all do for entertainment over there?”
Jay didn’t miss a beat. “Kill people. Train to kill people. Then kill people better.”
Jett laughed and shook his head. “I can’t even tell if you’re joking. Anyhow,” he held up the items he carried. “I have beer, cigars, and some playing cards in my pocket. If you’re anywhere near as bored as I am, then I’ve come to the rescue.”
Despite Jay’s unsurety, he removed his mask and hoodie. He tossed them aside. “What game did you have in mind? I don’t know many.”
The way Jett’s lips stretched into a wicked smile set Jay’s warning bells jangling. “Poker? I can teach you that.”
Jay motioned toward the small, two-person kitchen table. “I know of poker. You might have to refresh my memory and keep bets low, but I’m not opposed to this plan.”
Jett’s smile turned even more predatory. “Great.”
Inside, Jay laughed his ass off. Jay had skills he had been taught to hide. There was no better poker face. He was also very good at the game. Jett’s attitude would determine how gentle Jay would be. Jay was an expert at playing the idiot when needed.
Jett chose a chair and cracked open a beer. Jay joined him, following suit. While Jett dealt, Jay checked out the cigars Jett had brought. He had everything: lighter and a cutter. They were quality Cubans. He was in. Jay cut the tip and lit up. His first puff let him know how big his mistake had been. Jay didn’t drink or do drugs. In his field, a mind had to stay sharp to stay alive. The way his head swam had him looking for a place to extinguish the smoke.
