It was too many years of pretending he didn’t like Trevor like that, thinking and hoping and wishing it would go away, so he would never have to tell them. It was the lingering resentment—that heknewwasn’t even fair—that Tom had been the one to make his mom’s dreams come true. To give her the life she’d always deserved.
It was how many times he should have gone home, and didn’t.
“Lane, you can take your time, but I want you totalkto me. When you’re ready. But . . .” Trevor finally,finally, for the first time since Lane had totally lost his shit, glanced away. But Lane was pretty sure he saw fear in his eyes before he did.
“But what?” he asked, reaching out and putting a hand on Trevor’s back, inching him a bit closer, until their chests were pressed together.
Stroking up and down it, he hoped that would be enough encouragement for Trevor to tell him whathewas worried about, though Lane could probably guess.
It was him. It was all the baggage they’d been carrying around since putting their family together six years ago.
“I want it to be simple, but it’s not, right? It’s not for you.”
“Simple?” Lane huffed out a laugh. “Yeah. No.”
“For me, it is. Simpler, anyway. I like you. I want to be with you. And for me, that means telling my dad and your mom. Are you—” Trevor broke off. Swallowed hard. Lane could feel the tremor that went through him, just like it was his own. “Are you worried they’ll be weirded out or mad or something?”
He’d been terrified of that at eighteen. And at twenty-one. But now, he just worried that it had been a secret he’d kept for too long, and the length of it would easily eclipse any upset that his mom had over the secret itself.
“I was, but . . . I mean, it’s not like we were evertechnicallyrelated, right?”
Trevor huffed out a breath. “Never,” he agreed. “Then what’s the issue?”
“I . . . I don’t know,” Lane admitted. “It’s just been so long—”
“Since the beginning,” Trevor added.
It was hard not to be amused by that, even as Lane attempted to slog through the feelings produced by six years of confusion and silence.
“Since the beginning,” Lane agreed. “And what? I didn’t tell her then. That made sense. I don’t think I should’ve. She and Tom are so happy, I didn’t want to fuck that up. What if I had?”
“Maybe you wouldn’t have,” Trevor said gently, reaching up and cupping Lane’s cheek. “You don’tknowthat you would’ve.”
“But I thought it was a possibility, and being eighteen and very stupid . . . well, I was eighteen and stupid. And I ran away.”
“You went to college. You didn’t run away.”
“The summer after my freshman year? I sure as fuck ran away.”
Lane could feel Trevor freeze. “That summer you came home and you left again, almost immediately,” he stated carefully. “I thought—I don’t know what I thought, but I thought maybe it was too weird for you.”
“It was way too fucking weird for me,” Lane agreed. “I wanted you too badly. Thought I could get it under control; thought Ihadit under control and you were just . . .”
Trevor’s expression melted from apprehension to delight. “I was what, irresistible? Oh, that’s hot.”
“Not for me, not back then.” Lane smacked him on the back. Gently, but still. “It’s just been so long now. Too long that I’ve held my tongue, and it’s grown into something bigger than the secret. Bigger thanme, almost.”
Trevor was quiet for a long moment. “I don’t want to tell you what to do.”
But Lane kinda thought he should at least express an opinion. Sure, the secret had been Lane’s, but now it was both of theirs, together. And how else could they ever make this work if theyweren’thonest? He knew he needed to come clean, but it wasn’t going to be simple or easy for him. Not the way Trevor wanted it to be.
“No, but it’s partially your decision, too,” Lane said. That didn’t say itallbut it said enough.
Didn’t say,now that I finally have this, haveyou, I’m not gonna do anything to fuck it up,but maybe he didn’t need to. Maybe Trevor realized that.
“I think weshouldtell them while they’re here. Would go over better in person versus over the phone,” Trevor said carefully.“But that could be anytime you want. I’m okay putting that decision on you. When you feel ready to tackle it.”
“Are you sure?”
