If Trevor was being totally honest, a significant portion of his enjoyment had been because of who he’d been with, and the way the whole evening had been framed. Like it was a double date.
He’d never imagined he’d want todateLane. But then he’d never really let himself contemplate having sex with Lane either, and that had practically changed his whole opinion on sex.
“Definitely,” Trevor said. Then hesitated. He didn’t want to ask. Maybe he shouldn’t even ask while they were in the car with Aidan and Levi—but it was so obvious that much of the time, those two were lost in their own little world—but he wanted to know. It felt like a piece of a puzzle that he’d discovered on the floor, that he hadn’t even known was missing, but now that he had it, he was desperate to know where it fit.
“What is it?” Lane clearly could tell something was bothering him, and his forehead creased as he leaned in a bit closer to Trevor, his voice dropping.
“I just . . . I like you, you know? I didn’t even know I did, until I did, but it makes everything different.Better.”
“Better, huh?” Lane looked unexpectedly pleased. Not freaked out, so that was good.
“All of it, really. It’s hard for me to . . . I don’t alwayswantpeople, not like everyone else does. But I want you.” Trevor tried not to squirm or look away. There was a vulnerable part of him that didn’t want Lane to know howdifferentit was. How special this had turned out to be, because what if this was just Lane enjoying himself?
Lane leaned in closer, mouth nearly grazing Trevor’s ear. “I want you too,” he said.
Trevor had been trying so hard not to ask this, because he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, but he couldn’t keep the question in any longer. “Do you like me, too?”
Lane hadn’t looked surprised by any of this up until now, but he reared back at that question, not just surprised, butshocked.
“What?” he muttered.
It was Trevor’s first instinct to yank it right back, saynever mind, andI didn’t mean it, but hehadmeant it. He wanted to know. He thought so, but for so long hehadn’tbeen sure and it would absolutely suck if he found out Lanedidn’tlikehim. If he only liked getting naked with him.
“How can you even ask that?” Lane continued, and there was a shadow of hurt in his eyes now.
Shit, shit,shit.
“Uh,” Trevor said.
Of course that was the moment Aidan turned the corner and pulled up to the front of their building.
“Give us a good Uber rating, okay?” Levi chirped from the front seat.
Trevor rolled his eyes, reaching up to pat Levi on the shoulder. “How about a thanks for the ride?”
“Works for me,” Aidan said. “See you guys Monday?”
“Yeah,” Lane agreed, and they slid out of the car.
Trevor kept expecting Lane to say something the whole way inside their building, even during the ride up in the elevator, which they had to themselves. But Lane didn’t, and Trevor didn’t knowwhatto say. He felt like he’d already said too much, bringing it up in the first place.
He should’ve just kept swallowing that question back down.
Kept going with the assumption that Lane had led with, weeks ago: that whatever Trevor wanted was available for him to take. What didlikinghim have to do with any of that?
The problem was that for Trevor, that seemed to be integral. He’d spent the last few weeks not just enjoying how good his hookups with Lane were, but going over and over in his mind the differences to the other times he’d had sex. The similarities, too. He didn’t think it was just because Lane was a guy and he preferred sex with guys—easily the second-best sex hadn’t evenbeen with his ex-girlfriend, but with another friend, someone he’d known for a long time, maybe a year after he and Sophie had broken up. He hadn’t been in love with the friend, hadn’t really even had a crush on her, but he’dlovedher andlikedher, and for him, it seemed that was the key difference.
He’d never been able to fully trust Sophie. She’d done too many things, said too much, that had always made Trevor think that she was in it for the future payoff of being an NFL player’s wife.
On paper, they’d made sense, and he’d gotten the feeling that himnotdating set him apart in an uncomfortable way, which was the only reason he’d stuck to the charade for as long as he had.
But Lane was different. Trevor liked himandwas totally attracted to him, and it seemed that was the magic combination that unlocked all these new desires inside of Trevor.
Maybe if that wasn’t the case, Trevor would’ve cared less if Lane likedhim. But he did, and there was no use pretending otherwise.
Trevor turned this over in his head as they walked down the hallway to Lane’s condo. Lane unlocked the door, and Trevor kind of assumed that Lanewouldn’tsay anything, because Trevor’s question had upset him. Though he still wasn’t one hundred percent sure why.
But he was wrong.
