The training dummies the daemons used were larger and heavier than what I was used to. They were extremely well-made and realistic. Daemons also didn’t believe in hand wraps or boxing gloves, which meant I had to be careful of the bony parts of the body.
Daemons had fewer soft areas than humans. A fact I discovered when my knuckles caught a couple of hard parts where I didn’t expect to find them. I ignored the bruises the contact left behind and kept going.
I wanted to be angry. Because if I were angry, I wouldn’t feel the hurt. I wouldn’t have to fight the urge to cry. Anger protected me. It gave me strength.
Once I let the rage go, I would have to acknowledge that I had given Bokkan the power to hurt me by giving him my trust. That I had forgotten he was, first and foremost, my captor. He might have been kinder than the other daemons. He might not have expected sex from me.
But he’d also said he couldn’t get me home yet.
My thoughts went back to what he had said when the magistrate’s daemons came for him. The human witch in the Shadow Forest and how she would help me get home without expecting payment. He’d known about her. He’d known she would get me back to the human realm without makingmepay for it. She might have expected something from him, but my lack of money wouldn’t have mattered. He claimed he was willing to do whatever it took to get me home, but it was clear that wasn’t true. Not until it looked like he would be imprisoned, and I would be here alone.
Was that because he cared or because his human toy was in danger of being taken away?
A grunt escaped me when I moved into kicking combinations and threw a defensive front kick that sent the dummy skidding back several inches. Considering it had to weigh close to two hundred pounds, I wasn’t surprised when the ball of my foot ached.
“You are much stronger than you appear to be.”
I flinched and whirled toward the voice coming from behind me, pissed I’d become so focused on my thoughts and the thud of my hands and feet on the dummy that I hadn’t realized someone had entered the room.
Guldan stood in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. His tail hung behind him, relaxed, and his face wore the usual stern expression. Looking at him, I realized he was broader than Bokkan. Heavier. He wouldn’t move quickly, but his fist would feel like a sledgehammer when it made contact.
“What do you want?” I asked, my chest heaving from exertion.
“I am wondering why you are out here alone. Surely the general explained that it is unsafe.”
I scowled at him and went over to the bench where I’d left a cup of water. I downed it in several swallows before setting it down with a sharpthunk.
“And my safety matters so much to you, doesn’t it?” I asked.
Sarcasm wasn’t one of Guldan’s strengths because he took my question literally. “Of course. Your safety is of the utmost importance to the general, which means it is also important to me.”
It was a good thing I’d already set my cup down because the urge to hurl it at his face was strong. So strong that I probably wouldn’t have been able to stop myself if I held the cup in my hand. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” I barked, dropping my fists on my hips.
“No, I am not joking.”
I rolled my eyes, and the sound that escaped my mouth could only be described as derisive. “I know you’re not, Guldan. But considering you saw me as nothing more than property to be purchased less than a week ago, I find it disgusting that yourgeneral’sinterest in me and his need for my help is the only reason my safety is suddenly paramount.” I lifted one hand and slapped my palm against my chest. “I have value. All on my own. My place in your boss’s life doesn’t determine that. My relationship with him should have no bearing on how I’m seen or treated!”
Utterly frustrated, I threw up my hands and stomped back over to the practice dummy. I focused on different elbow and knee strike combinations, working to put my bodyweight behind them. With daemons being so much larger than me, I needed to make sure that my striking ability was accurate and as powerful as I could make it.
Guldan stood in the doorway in silence, watching and waiting, until I needed to take a break because my heart was pounding and my breath was coming in pants.
“The humans here are not like you, Lady Leda,” he said, coming closer. He sat on the bench next to my empty cup. “They make bargains and contracts with daemons and witches in this realm because they are weak. Either physically or mentally. If a human makes a bargain that requires them to come to our realm, it is not their first. Or even their second or third. The humans who come here will not return home. They will either not survive their time in Penumbra or they will make another deal, sign another contract. It is a never-ending cycle for them.”
“Don’t you see how fucked up that is?” I asked.
Guldan shrugged. “Everyone involved gets something out of the bargain. Even if they regret the contract, they jump to make another one.”
“You make it sound like an addiction.”
“It is.”
I sighed and leaned a shoulder against the practice dummy, crossing my arms over my chest. “So that means they deserve to be treated like animals?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, it means they’re willing to allow themselves to be treated as such because of their weakness.”
I sensed we were going to keep talking in circles, so I saved myself the headache. “Fine. But, as you said, I’m not like them. I didn’t sign a contract. I didn’t make a deal. Do you expect me to believe that alone changed your opinion of me?”
“It did somewhat. But seeing your strength in body and mind was a larger factor.”
