There’s a peace to it. The dark of night, when it’s quiet and everyone else is asleep. But something gnaws at the back of my mind. An unsettling sort of disruption that feels a little like I’m still being contained.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice there’s light coming from the window.
Slowly, I walk over and peer out at the moons. They’ve returned. Darkfall is officially over. There was no ceremony, no celebration. With all the other things going on, few of the protocols were followed.
I wonder what the old emperor would have thought of that. What all the ladies of the court thought of that. Were they having parties and events to appease the nobles at the castle? Was it just us here at the winter estate who were moving on as if Darkfall never happened?
I look down at the marks on my wrist and arm. Carefully, I trace them with my fingertip. My nightmare was oddly similar to the vines that permanently mark my skin.
I’ve barely thoughtabout my magic the last couple of weeks. I don’t know where the time’s gone. I was married then brought to a new place. I’ve been visited by a goddess that I’m failing. How long had it been since she last appeared? And yet, I’d avoided her warning. Instead of embracing my magic, I suppressed it. I’ve done nothing to invite it in. Nothing to experiment or test it.
Whenever it tries to show itself, I shove it down. There isn’t time for it right now. People are dead. It’s been a week, and we still don’t know who is responsible. And all I’ve done is waste my time reading anything I can get my hands on about plants.
Worse, I still don’t know if Caiden and Brevan are alive.
I have to be missing something.
A flicker of purple catches my attention, and I turn just as the flames return to normal.
“Mara?” I look around, expecting to see the goddess.
The silence is almost worse. Guilt feels heavy in my stomach. I wish I didn’t feel so helpless.
“Mara?” I call to her, hoping she’ll show. “I could use a bit of guidance.”
Nothing.
“I’m sorry I haven’t done what you asked of me. I had to know what killed Juliette.” My jaw tenses. “You know, if you told me what it was that I’m supposed to figure out, I’d be done with that, and I could go back to bringing down this empire. But then again, you’re the one who told me I have to wait. What is it that you want from me?”
The thought swirls in my mind as I recall the tasks she’s given me.
I think she wants me to take my ladies to the grand temple. To see if they can get their own power.
Then there was finding out what’s hidden from me. How am I supposed to discover it without any other guidance? There must be so many things kept from me. Secrets locked deep within the walls of this estate, of the castle, and the empire itself.
They have a dragon. A creature that is supposed to be extinct. I’d say that’s a major secret. Then there’s the hidden garden and the mystery surrounding the emperor’s death. That’s not taking into account the rituals and relics and the way magic is given and controlled here.
Especially now that I know there’re places where people are simply born with it. And that the emperor was hiding someone with power so dangerous, Nate won’t tell me what it does. Only that it typically kills the wielder before they reach maturity.
Then there’s the thirteen dead from some kind of secret poison or other nefarious means that nobody has any information about.
I’d say there’s too much that’s hidden from me already. How am I to discover more? Or is one of those things my task to investigate?
“You’re not a lot of help, you know,” I hiss.
Why is that she always shows up when I don’t need her? And why is nothing she’s said or done helpful in any way? I look at my hands, then the marks I can see. What good is this magic? Shadows and controlling the dead.
Are the other gods like this? Do they show up to the people they gifted magic to and give them cryptic clues?
Frustrated, I march over to where my robe hangs on the wall. I slip it on, then head into the hall. Nate isn’t there, which is surprising. But I’m glad he’s getting some rest.
“Your Majesty. Is everything alright?” Alan, one of the legionnaires who’s been regularly at my door, asks.
“Yes. It’s just that I haven’t been to the temple in a while. I used to go every day at the castle.” I tie the belt around my waist.
“Of course,” he says. “We can arrange for that in the morning.”
“No, I’d like to go now.”
