“Wait, go back, Juliette found someone? She wasn’t at my wedding. She just vanished. I thought she’d be with all of you.” We walk slowly down the hall and I try to keep my attention on Genevieve, but a group of legionnaires heading our way has me on edge.
“I thought you knew. Apparently, the emperor introduced her to a dignitary from the Shatterlands. She said it was love at first sight, then she asked permission to leave.” She shifts so we’re closer to the right side of the hall, making more room for the oncoming men to pass us.
“Hold on, there was someone from the Shatterlands here? As in, in this estate?” I can’t believe this is the first I’m hearing of this. “And he took Juliette away? And Caiden was fine with it? I wasn’t even gone that long. How did this all happen?”
“It was fast, that’s for sure,” she agrees.
“We never even met him,” Antonia adds.
“And you don’t think it’s suspicious?” I ask her.
“I think Juliette knew what she was doing. She wanted out of this estate and away from…” she lowers her voice, “you know, just everything.”
I sigh. “That makes sense.”
“She said she’d visit soon,” Genevieve adds.
“Does she know…” I stop speaking, aware of the fact that we’re about to pass the legionaries. There’s maybe twenty of them, marching in pairs, all of them watching us.
“Tell me about your dress,”Genevieve blurts, too loudly.
I give her a grateful smile, then attempt to sound excited about my wedding. “Well, my dress was stunning, even if it was black and white.”
The guards pass us, none of them hiding their long inspections of our colorful dresses. Many of them turning their heads as they pass to continue to gawk.
Maybe the color wasn’t such a nice gesture. It made us easier to spot. “And of course Caiden looked handsome as usual,” I say as if I’m a lovesick teenager, if only to remind the men passing us that we’re protected by the emperor. A few of them do remove their eyes from us.
“The ball was stunning, but I fell ill after the ceremony and had to return to my rooms.”
“That’s too bad. I’ve heard the balls are pure debauchery,” Genevieve says. “Not that you could participate in such things as a married woman.”
I laugh.
“We’ll all be too old for that by next darkfall,” Antonia says.
“That’s true. We’ll probably all be married. Maybe even have children.” Genevieve sucks in a breath as soon as the words leave her mouth.
I tense. That was the last thing I wanted to think about. “Are we near the kitchen?”
“It’s just down here,” Antonia says, guiding us the rest of the way.
We’re silent for the remainder of the walk and it gives me a moment to realize that I’m grateful for Genevieve’s distractions and direction. She helped me continue to play the role,something that was getting harder than I thought it would be now that so many know the truth.
I could have made a mistake that might have drawn unnecessary attention to me. There’s no reason to believe I’d be protected if I created a scandal for Caiden. Or worse, made him look foolish. I’d be dead without a second thought.
My chest constricts and something profound strikes me.
I don’t want to die.
The thought is so absurd I nearly dismiss it. I can’t imagine what I’m living for beyond revenge and saving my friends, but even without those threats, there’s a strange little flicker of hope where there shouldn’t be.
When was the last time I wanted to live? And not just survive, but truly live. I want to find a way to make things better. Beyond revenge, beyond my own selfish ends.
But I have no idea how I’m supposed to do that. Or if that’s what Mara wants from me. How can I bring destruction and make things better at the same time?
The kitchen staff is thrilled to have us visit. The head maid orders us to sit and they bring us hot chocolate and slices of cake that were probably meant for dinner.
Nate stands awkwardly near the door. When one of the staff refills our cups, I gesture toward him. “Can you please take him some hot chocolate?”
