“I already asked for most of that, but I trust that you’ll oversee the rest?” Caiden says.
“Of course.” He inclines his head.
“Come, Sabina, I think you need to sleep in the carriage tonight. Just to be sure.” Caiden guides me away and I let him without a fight. Part of me is wondering why I didn’t just pick up the poison or curl up next to it. Caiden would have joined me, and while I’d be gone, at least I wouldn’t have to pretend to be his wife anymore, and he’d be dead.
“I hear someone tried to kill my sister?” Ludis calls.
I tense as Caiden halts our progress. We turn.
Ludis walks casually toward us, giving the bodies a disgusted look as he passes them. “Should I be concerned about traveling with your court, emperor? Is this how guests are treated in Pendralia?”
“For all I know, it was one of your men who did this,” Caiden snaps.
“The evidence would demonstrate otherwise.” He kicks the hand of one of the dead men.
“Sabina can stay in my quarters this evening. No reason for her to sleep in a carriage.”
“I’ll take the carriage.” I turn and walk away before either of the men can comment.
I wake up with a start, my whole body hot and needy between my thighs. Groaning, I rest my face in my hands. Why do I keepdreaming about Brevan? He can’t even look at me with kindness, yet I’m torturing myself in sleep.
It, once again, felt so real that my breasts ache and my panties are soaked. This can’t keep happening. What if I’m sleeping and I roll over and act out some of the dream with Caiden? That can’t happen. There has to be some way to get Brevan out of my system.
What if I asked Brevan for one last time with him to satisfy the urge? I lean my head back against the seat with an exasperated huff. There’s no way he’s interested in that, and it would be insanely stupid. We’d be risking so many lives for an orgasm.
I straighten as a thought strikes me. I glance around the carriage, even though I know I’m alone. I pull back the curtain and peer into the darkened camp. The sky is navy—a hint of the sunrise—but still an hour from daylight. There’s no sign of anyone.
Pulling my skirts up, I let my hand travel down between my legs. Slowly, I dip lower until my fingers brush against my apex. I shift as I suck in a breath. I’d heard other women discuss this in hushed tones, but I’d never tried it. But if I can pleasure myself, maybe I won’t dream about Brevan anymore.
His face flashes in my mind, and my other hand travels to my breast, caressing myself as if he were the one touching me. I see him removing his clothes, standing naked in front of me. He wears that look on his face that I love. The one that makes me think he might devour me whole.
My mind takes me to him kissing my neck and running his large hands down my body. I touch myself like he might while my other hand moves faster between my legs.
My breath hitches, my body tenses, the pleasure growing as I imagine him thrusting into me. His lips on my throat, biting,kissing, teasing. Sweat gleaming on his bare skin, his breathy grunts as his pleasure builds.
The carriage door creaks and my eyes snap open, hand still scandalously between my legs.
Brevan’s eyes widen, then he closes the door quickly. “Sorry, Your Majesty. I should have knocked.”
Mortified, I hurry to smooth my skirts and push loose strands of hair away from my face, tucking them behind my ears. I open the door. “Can I help you, enforcer?”
“Well, um, you see…” He’s looking everywhere but at me.
“For the love of the gods, Brevan, you’ve seen me naked,” I hiss.
His eyes meet mine and for the first time since the death of the emperor, it feels like he’s actually looking at me. “I was sent to tell you to prepare to leave. The emperor will be riding in a different carriage and wanted to let you know.”
“I’m riding alone?” I hate that my tone sounds a little needy. Because I was so fucking close and if Brevan was in this carriage with me…
“Yes. I’ll be beside you. On horseback. Alone. On my horse. If you need anything.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Is there anything you need?”
Yes.
He was flustered. Seeing me like that did something to him. I know how often men think about sex, but what if…what if it wasn’t just because I’d been touching myself? What if it was because he still felt something for me?
It’s dangerous to think like that. He knows how I feel, but he’s made his position clear. And I owe it to Anya to keep my space. “I’ll be fine, enforcer. But I will need some place to freshen up before we leave.”
“I will inform the emperor. I’m sure he’ll want to escort you himself,” he says.
