“You had no choice,” I tell her. “You weren’t there when they destroyed that whole village. Brevan killed them but Caiden ordered it. I—I fell in love with a monster. What is wrong with me?”
Anya sits next to me and pulls me close to her. I rest my head on her shoulder and the slow trickle of tears grows into something uncontrollable. My whole body shakes with sobs and I can’t stop. I’m not sure I even want to stop.
Anya smooths my hair and rubs my back. She makes soothing sounds and tells me that everything is going to be alright. I don’t believe her, but eventually, the tears subside and I begin to hiccup.
She tucks my hair behind my ears. “I’ll get you some water.” She leaves and crosses the room to pour a cup from the pitcher.
“I’m sorry.” I think the crying sobered me up a bit. “I’m so sorry for everything. I got you involved in all this and now we’re stuck in this mess.”
She returns with the water and hands it to me. “Don’t. You know we’ll figure this out, together, alright?”
I take a sip of the water, then hiccup again. This used to happen when I was young. Every time I got too worked up, I’d hiccup for what felt like forever. It was another good reason to keep myself from getting caught up in my emotions.
A gentle knock sounds on the door and Anya hurries to answer it. Caiden hands her two plates of food, then closes the door without a word.
Anya brings the plates over and sets them on the bed. “You need to eat.”
I hiccup again, then take another sip of water before nodding. I know it’ll help. “I’m sorry I drank so much.”
“You didn’t even have that much,” she says. “Caiden said it was something to do with the magic.”
“I’m starting to think that magic is far more of a burden than a gift.” I pause, fork in hand.
“What is it?” Anya asks.
“There’s no shadows.”
Her brow furrows. “You’re right. And you were an emotional mess.”
I blink rapidly as I think back to all the times Caiden drank too much. I judged him as a spoiled prince. He warned me. He told me it helped him maintain control. “The alcohol numbs them. The emotions.”
“I guess that’s helpful to know.” She bites into a carrot, then nods at my untouched plate.
“Yeah.” I pick up the fork and stab a piece of potato. It’s fresh, warm food. It should be delicious, but it tastes like nothing. Still, I make myself eat.
There’s another knock and I set my plate aside but Anya is on her feet faster. She only takes two steps before an envelope slides into the room from the crack under the door. She picks it up. “I think it’s for you.”
I walk over to her and take the letter from her. On the front is a single letter:T.
I tear it open and find a folded paper inside with just two words written on it.
I’m sorry.
-B
Anya is looking over my shoulder. “What is that supposed to mean? Do you think it’s from Brevan?”
“I don’t know.” Is it an apology for the other night? Is he taking back what he said? No, I know that’s not it. I am certain he was sincere.
I cross the room and open the door, then look out into the hall. There’s nobody in sight. My shoulders sink. I should have known better.
I close the door, then lock it. “Nobody’s there.”
“Maybe it was delivered to the wrong room?” She suggests.
I sit back down on the bed, then set my plate in my lap. “Yeah, maybe.”
When we finish eating, we set the plates on the desk, then prepare for bed. We didn’t bring anything with us, so we take turns using the small bathing chamber in the hall that is shared by all the rooms.
