“I hope so. I’m running out of ideas and time.” I climb back onto the pallet. Something tells me the assassin might be the linchpin.
We both attempt to sleep, but despite the silence in the dark tent, I don’t think either of us does.
Forty-Seven
Sabina
Anya dozes in the carriage next to me. There’s not much to do while we’re just clattering along on the roads toward the mountains. She didn’t seem as concerned as I thought she’d be when I told her what happened last night. I suspect it’s because she’s trying to downplay the whole thing with Brevan. She’s made it clear she thinks I’m playing with fire every time I see him.
I’m glad she’s asleep so I can think more on what I heard and what I did. That was the one part I left out, the whole somehow reversing the poison part. I can’t say it out loud. Knowing that I had the ability to save Juliette while she was dying in front of me is too much. And I can’t imagine how Charlotte would feel if she knew I could have saved her Elliot.
My feelings are raw and broken. I’m certain I’m never going to be able to trust anything or anyone again. Anya might be the only exception. I stare out the window at the thick forest. Occasionally, I catch sight of a bird or we pass riders or other carriages. Mostly, there’s nothing but the sky and the trees.
Mara’s words continue to echo in my mind, especially the part about how she has asked someone to help her before. I wonder how badly it ended for that person and if I’m just delaying the same fate.
We manage to avoid speaking to Caiden or Brevan when we stop for breaks and our conversation at dinner is brief and polite. Every time I see the enforcer, my whole body heats and then everything inside me crumbles. It might be harder to be around him since both of us admitted our feelings. At least when I thought it was over, I could shut him out easier.
Every night after we eat, Anya and I retreat to our tent, where I’ve noticed there are now guards stationed at the rear. I wonder if that was Brevan’s doing after how easily I was able to get out of his tent and return to mine. My insides twist uncomfortably when I can’t decide if he did it for my protection, or to prevent me visiting him again.
The days blur together. I suppose I should be grateful for the lack of anything of interest. Anya and I play cards and we talk. Sometimes we reminisce about the past, and other times we imagine what it might be like if we did run away. Neither of us is willing to admit that it’s likely never going to happen. We both know there’s a good chance we’ll die in Pendalia. I just hope that it’s after a long, happy life, whatever that looks like.
After nearly a week of monotony, someone knocks on our carriage door right before we’re about to leave after a break. Anya is closest and opens the door.
Caiden inclines his head. “Lady Anya,” then turns to me, “Empress.”
“This can’t be good,” I say. “You’re playing the formal, polite emperor card.”
He grins. “If you’d rather I go than share the good news I have, I can take myself elsewhere.”
“Unless it’s that we’re arriving at the estate or we’re turning around, I’m not sure what good news you could have,” I say. Then I realize there are several other things that would be good news, but I know he wouldn’t consider them as such.
“How would you like to sleep in a real bed tonight?” he asks.
“With you?” I lift a brow. We might be getting along better, but I’m still not sure what that even means.
“You two can still share a room, but I will be next door, just in case,” he says.
“Does that mean we’re stopping at a village?” Anya asks.
I straighten and can’t hold back the smile that comes to my lips. “Please tell me that’s true.”
“It is. We’ll be there before nightfall. Most of the guards will stay in the woods, but we’ll venture into town as a group of travelers passing through,” he says.
“Does that mean we can find some fresh bread?” I ask, then instantly feel foolish and spoiled. The old Taylan would have never worried about such frivolous things. We’ve had food every day on this journey. It’s mostly been fish or rabbit, but we’re not hungry.
“All the bread you want,” he says.
“Emperor.” A legionnaire is hurrying toward us and Caiden turns and gestures to him, then looks back at us. “I’ll escort you to the village when we stop next.”
He closes the door before we can hear what the legionnaire says.
“Well, that’s exciting,” Anya says.
“Yes, it’ll be a nice change,” I agree. “It must mean we’re getting closer, though. I still don’t know what we’re going to do about Ludis if we don’t figure everything out before then.”
“Like I said before, there probably isn’t much we can do. There’s a good chance his father is still going to reject him,” Anya reminds me.
I nod, but I don’t actually believe her. His plan is for me to convince his father by leveraging my marriage. He’s so convinced it’ll work that he has me believing it.
