“The last time I traveled anywhere, I was taken to that tower,” Anya suddenly says.
“I know. I’m so sorry.”
“Roselyn wasn’t bad, you know. I do think she’s troubled, but mostly by the things she sees. The things she’s been asked to do.” Anya sighs. “I guess I do the same thing as you and find the good in people I probably shouldn’t. She almost killed me.”
“Her monsters almost killed you,” I point out.
“Isn’t that the same as what you’re dealing with? I’m sure there’s a nice person inside the emperor, but there’s also this dangerous part. His own monster. The question we have to answer is which side of him will win when he’s granted more power?”
I let her question linger as anxiety and guilt writhe inside me. How is that any different than me? Or Brevan? Are all of us with magic just one decision away from destroying everything and everyone we love?
“I’ve been speaking with Mara,” I blurt out.
“Mara? Like the goddess of death?” Anya’s eyes widen, then she collects herself. She’s always been good at playing calm even when she’s not. It’s probably part of why she was so good at her job for the rebellion.
“Yes.”
“In the temple?”
“There, and then after. She’s been asking things of me, but none of them make sense. She never gives me reasons or fully explains anything.” I don’t hide my frustration.
“Is that—normal? I mean, do other people talk to the gods after getting magic?”
I shake my head. “As far as I know, Mara needed something specific and she decided I’m the one to do it.”
“Alright.” She takes a deep breath, then blows it out slowly. “I’m going to need more information. What is she asking?”
“Well, I also think that maybe you should know what my magic is. It’s not just shadows.”
“I knew you were hiding something from me. Thank the gods it’s not feelings for the emperor,” she says in a playful tone.
I smile, feeling reassured by her levity of the situation. She’ll understand, surly. It won’t be like Brevan. She’s my best friend. She loves me. I sigh, then begin, “I can wake the dead.”
She opens her mouth, then closes it. After a few seconds, she finally speaks. “Necromancy?”
It’s the first time I’ve heard the word applied to my gift. The first time I’ve allowed myself to even entertain that word. It’s danced around my mind, but I’ve always shoved it away before it can take form. But it’s true. That’s what I do.
I nod.
“Well, that might be helpful,” she says. “I wonder how long a corpse can pull off looking alive before it starts to rot.”
I blink a few times. “You’re not afraid?”
She laughs. “Why would I be afraid? It’s an unusual power from what I’ve read, but if the goddess of death granted your magic, it makes sense.”
“I suppose.”
“Taylan, why are you so afraid? What happened to the fire you used to have?”
It’s the question I should have been asking myself for weeks. “I guess, I forgot. I was so worried something would happen to you, I sort of just grew complacent. Wait, you sound just like the goddess of death.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” She grins. “Tell me everything. Maybe I can help you figure some of it out.”
“Well, some of it is clear. Mara wants me to bring this empire down. But it’s not Caiden we’re after. There’s someone else. I suspect we’ll find out at this meeting.”
“The Iskvalandian king?”
I shrug. “It’s possible.”
