I don’t know who the fuck I am anymore.
Opening my eyes, I take a couple steps back until I’m at the benches, then I sit. “Please give me something.” It comes out a desperate plea.
Of course, the goddess seems to be finished answering my call. I don’t understand, and I hate how confused I am, but I do know I have to go to meet the Iskvalandian royals. I don’t know why, but I know it’s the right choice.
I walk toward the door, frustrated. I really, really hope Ludis’s father kills him when he shows up in court. Seeing the light leave his eyes would make it all worth it. A warm flicker of hope rises and satisfaction settles around me like a comforting blanket.
Hand on the doorknob, I hesitate.
For the first time in a long while, I felt like myself.
I am supposed to be the angel of death, but instead I’ve been playing nice with a bunch of royals.
With a grin, I turn the knob and step into the hallway. If there’s answers on this journey, that must mean Mara is finally going to let me burn it all to the ground. But I could have killed Caiden a thousand times. Ludis, too.
Which means they aren’t the real threat. There’s someone greater who’s holding everything together. And when I figure that piece out, I might just get to bring down both an empire, and a kingdom.
Welcome back, daughter.
Forty-Four
Sabina
The day was spent in a flurry of activity preparing for tomorrow’s departure. As if the prospect of weeks on the road with Ludis isn’t bad enough, I’m stuck sitting across from him at dinner.
The room is shrouded in a heavy, awkward tension. I push food around my plate, doing my best to occasionally take a bite. As much as I try to avoid looking at Brevan or Ludis, my eyes catch theirs on occasion.
At least when Ludis smirks at me, I feel nothing but irritation. That’s better than the painful contraction around my ribs when I meet Brevan’s gaze. He might be in more of a hurry than I am to look away without so much as flinching. It fucking hurts.
“Well, I do hope our dinners aren’t all like this during our travels,” Ludis says, breaking the long silence.
“You can eat alone,” I suggest.
“I don’t think I will. Your friend Genevieve seems eager to accompany us.” He takes a sip of his wine but the cup doesn’t hide his smirk.
“She’s not going with us,” I tell him.
“Actually, I insisted you be allowed to bring one of your ladies with you. I think it’s important for you to have company and someone to share a room with during our travels,” Caiden says.
“Aren’t you sharing a room with your wife?” Ludis asks.
“There’s no audience here,” I remind him. “And Caiden is a gentleman. Not that you’d know anything about that. He’s been very respectful of my space.”
Brevan coughs and I feel my face heat. Did I just defend Caiden? In front of Brevan and Ludis? What is happening?
The enforcer takes a large gulp of wine, then sets his cup down. “I think it’s a great idea. She should have a friend.”
“Then I should get to choose,” I insist.
“Of course,” Caiden agrees.
“Good, because I already told Anya she’s going.” I wasn’t about to leave her behind.
“Genevieve is already packed. She’s planning to go,” Ludis presses.
“She’ll understand.”
“You just can’t bear to see me with someone else, can you?” He chuckles. “I’m here anytime you want to revisit the past.”
