The halls are empty, darker than usual with that stupid rule about keeping the flames low during Darkfall.
I hate Darkfall.
The ridiculous notion that the lack of moons is a reason to fear. Where I come from, it was a celebration. The moons were believed to be goddesses who watched over our realm. But during Darkfall, it was the one time of year they could return to their lovers, to take a break from watching us humans. So, we had to be extra kind, extra caring. We had to make up for their departure.
We gave gifts and fed the less fortunate. We held parties every night and everyone was invited.
I used to love Darkfall.
I loved my home. My family. My place in the world.
Until they discovered what my sister could do. I knew it was a matter of time before they discovered what I could do. We had no choice. We had to flee.
If I’d have known we’d end up serving a new master, I might have made a different choice.
There’s nobody at the training grounds. In the darkness, most people will stay indoors the entire time, but for sure at night. I have the whole place to myself.
I look skyward, taking in the blanket of stars that’s only visible when the moons take their rest. It’s stunning. A canopy of shimmering light that illuminates the sky.
My breath puffs as I continue on until I find my way to the targets. There are a few axes and some knives in the basket next to them. I grab the whole basket and carry it with me until I’m a good distance from the targets. I let out a yell of frustration with each throw, sending weapon after weapon into the sawdust-filled bag.
With each throw, my rage builds and I let it rise, imagining the target as Caiden. I toss all the knives then switch to the axes. With a deep breath, I pull my arm back then let the ax go with all my fury channeled into the weapon.
The target explodes in a cloud of dust. I turn away from it, shielding my eyes with my arms. My lungs burn and I cough to clear them. After a few moments, the dust settles and I lower my arms, then wipe my eyes. Sawdust covers my damp skin and coats my clothes. Tattered remains of fabric rustle in the wind.
I curse silently. I can’t afford to lose control. Especially not now.
There’s no hope of sleep but I walk back to the castle, feeling defeated. In the morning I’ll be expected to return to the role of Caiden’s loyal servant. Blindly following orders while never so much as thinking an impure thought about his wife.
My hands ball into fists.His wife.How the fuck am I going to get through the next few weeks or months without losing it completely? If I slip, he’ll kill us and the people we’re trying to protect. If I have to look at her and see that hope in her eyes one more time, I might give in. And for both of our sakes, I can’t afford to do that.
I have to make her hate me.
Five
Sabina
I bolt upright, heart racing, skin damp with sweat. Early dawn drenches the room in gray light. Someone is breathing next to me and when I see Caiden passed out in his clothes, my shoulders sag in disappointment.
Of course it’s him next to me. Brevan doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. He’s not going to risk his sister for a tumble, and I wouldn’t risk Anya. We both know how stupid that would be.
I’m still in my wedding dress, but I don’t remember getting into bed. I must have given up waiting for someone to help me out of it. Or maybe Caiden thought I’d let him remove it.
I shudder with revulsion then rise. Being in the same bed is too close. I can’t do it. How am I supposed to pretend alongside him when I can’t stand being near him?
When I look back at the sleeping emperor, he looks peaceful in his rumpled clothes. His hair falls over his eyes, and his chest rises and falls slowly.
I feel in the folds of my dress for the pocket. It would be so easy to end him right now. To stab him and watch the blood pour from him, to see his face grow pale, his body succumbing to death’s embrace.
My pocket is empty. I check the other one. It’s also empty.
Pulse rising, I look around the room. Where did they go? I had the blades from Brevan in my pockets. How did I lose them? They can’t have gone far.
I look by the couch and under the bed. In the dim light, I can’t see very well so I reach, feeling around in the hopes that I’ll find something. They’re not there. Where did they go?
“Looking for something?”
Startled, I move too quickly and knock my head on the bed. “Fuck.” Grumbling, I scoot backward, then rub my head as I glare at Caiden. “Where are they?”
