Her eyes grew wide. “Did you tell him before that, or just when he left?”
I thought for a moment. “When he told me he bought a plane ticket, I told him he could stay. But then he chose to go.” My lip quivered as I held back tears. “Hearing it out loud, I could see his point, like he did. I thought it was implied he would stay after the year was up, but now I see how I screwed up.” Tears streaked my cheeks even as I tried to hold them back. “I screwed up, not just a little. I screwed up big.”
To Cassie’s credit, she didn’t flinch. “Have you heard from him?” she asked.
I fiddled with my pen. “He texted Reaper. Reaper told Levi, who told Mason, who told me that he landed okay. That’s… something.”
Cassie raised an eyebrow. “So he hasn’t called you?”
She bumped my shoulder with hers. “Look. He gave you this.” She gestured to the ranch in general. “That’s not nothing. If he’s supposed to come back, he will. If he doesn’t…” She exhaled. “You’re still standing. You still have this clinic, this ranch, this town. You are not alone.”
“Great,” I muttered. “I’ve become a Hallmark special.”
Cassie grinned. “One with goats.” She pulled me into a hug. “I’ll see you tonight.”
After she left, I cleaned the exam rooms by muscle memory. Wiped down surfaces, restocked drawers, locked the meds cabinet. My mind kept wandering to a man in a city apartment, staring at a ceiling that didn’t creak when I snuck downstairs in the middle of the night for a glass of water or warm milk.
“Stop it,” I told myself. “He needed to go. You needed to let him.”
I closed the clinic, locked the door, and walked back toward the house. The sun had started its slow descent. Breath billowed from the horses’ nostrils in clouds. Somewhere a crow cawed, and that was it. I was alone again until six o’clock, counting the minutes down.
The bonfire would be in the east pasture, where Austin and I had cleared brush and placed large logs to sit on. I took a deep breath.
One day at a time, Milly. One day at a time.
I climbed the porch steps, hand on the rail.
Inspector stood by the door, staring at it, tail flicking like a metronome.
“Really?” I asked him. “You have a cat door, you know.” But I knew he liked being fussed over.
He flicked an ear but didn’t move.
Fine. I let him in, then got ready for the bonfire. Heavy sweater. Wool socks. Hand warmers and gloves. Beanie, and Austin’s dog tags around my neck. I’d meant to give them back before he left, but in the drama, I’d forgotten. I promised myself I’d mail them to him as soon as I got his address.
I hated this. I hated missing him. I wanted him back, and I wanted to be in his arms again.
It was nearing five o’clock, and I was just keeping myself busy now. I’d already turned on the lights. Duke’s truck had come and gone an hour ago, and I had nothing to do but listen to the old grandfather clock tick the seconds by until I could put on my “I’m fine”smile and mingle like we used to when Austin was here. Sue had just texted to say she was running late when a knock came at the door.
Three soft raps.
I took a deep breath and tried the smile on. It felt stiff and forced, and that was exactly how I felt. I ran my hands through my hair and readied myself to play hostess.
“Here we go,” I told Inspector, who looked at the door with rapt attention.
“It’s probably Duke,” I told him. “Or Sarah. Or…”
The knock came again.
Inspector meowed and swatted at the door.
“Okay,” I whispered. “Okay. Don’t be pushy.”
“Hey, I was just…” My words halted mid-thought.
It washim.
Austin stood on my porch with a duffel slung over one shoulder and a potted plant in the other. Snow dusted his hair and the shoulders of his coat. His eyes were tired, but when they met mine, my heart melted.
