“For who?”
“The Onari.”
“Were you meant to be Onari?”
“I’m half,” Lucian said.
“Then you are meant to be half.”
“But if I were more Onari I wouldn’t be here.” Lucian motioned to the room. “I don’t mean with you, though that’s probably true, too. But if I weren’t part human, they couldn’t feed on me like they can.” He realized he had not once sensed the general feed on his emotions, even as they rose and fell while reading the epic tale in the book. Everything about him looked Onari, as original as the statues and art painted on walls. The Onari adopted a more human-like form over the years, the warriors turning the other direction and looking more like vampires or demons. Lucian thought for a long time that meanta separation of class, but it was only a variable of their species and evolution created by time and necessary change.
“Are you one of the original Onari?” Lucian finally asked. He’d been forced to learn history, but even his uncle and sire who were linked to the original founders of their species, were hundreds of years separated from their origins.
“I predate your kind.”
“How is that possible? Are you a god of some kind?”
“There are no gods,” the general said. “Only mistakes of magic and reaction.”
Lucian shook his head not understanding. “Would that mean love is a mistake?” He ran his fingertips over the book, savoring it, surprised by the way the story found a home in his heart. Was it possible to choose a family of the heart rather than one forced on him by blood ties?
“It makes us weak,” the general said.
“Love?”
“Yes. We do stupid things for those we love.”
“But you love them anyway,” Lucian deduced holding up the book. “The one who likes this book?”
“Yes,” the general breathed as though admitting it hurt. “More than anything.”
Lucian smiled, his heart stirring something he couldn’t identify. “I would like to experience that someday.”
“It’s not as grand or pretty as the stories make it out to be.”
“But there has to be something more than pain and suffering, right?” Lucian wondered. He vaguely recalled a glimpse into his childhood of his mother’s face and joy. He’d never known his sire before the man became the Monster, but Lucian could remember Radu’s smiling face and gifts of sweet treats or even toys the king would bring. His visits turned Lucian’s sire sour, and they often ended up fighting, but Lucian recalled hiding inhis room and playing by himself for a few hours of uninterrupted happiness. Lonely as it might have been, he still enjoyed it.
“I’m not certain anymore,” the general said. “Perhaps if you find the answer, you’ll let me know?”
Lucian knew the answer now. He blinked at his uncle’s worried expression. The long years of wars, and forced leadership wore at him, but he never lost that gentle core carefully protected by iron will.
“I’ll find him,” Lucian said. He walked past his uncle and squeezed the man’s arm for comfort, a small touch as they were still healing the division forced on them by Lucian’s sire.
Lucian found the book, worn and worse for wear, in his room, packed a bag of some basics, and then made his way outside. Theo and Barney lay in the sun, basking a lot like cats warming themselves. Lucian took a moment to memorize the beauty of Theo’s delicate face resting in the rays of bright light.
The sun didn’t bother Lucian, Theo, or even Radu. But Lucian knew Star had spent a long time in the dark, found comfort in hiding, and suspected the man hid in the deep space of woods between their house and Raphael’s.
Theo must have sensed him because he looked up with sleepy eyes. “You okay?”
“Yes. Headed off to find Star.”
“He went off into the woods. I asked if he needed help. He said no. But he promised he’d look for berries for us. Did you have any luck making the dessert?”
“No. I’ll try again later.”
“Do you want me to go with you?” Theo sat up, his gaze finding the dark stretch of woods, and he shivered. Nothing there could or would hurt them, but the shadows touched them all in a way they had yet to recover.
“Rest. I’ll be back in a while.” Lucian said as he passed them and headed into the woods. Strawberry vines usually grew where Star set down roots. A connection to Yuri, or because they reminded Star of him? Lucian didn’t ask, it felt too personal.
