"I'm not going to use you." His voice was low, dangerous. "I'm not going to hurt you just to satisfy Persico's expectations."
"I'm not asking you to hurt me." I reached up, my hands covering his where they still gripped my shoulders. "I'm asking you to touch me. To be with me."
"That's the same thing."
"No, it's not." I stepped closer, close enough that I felt the heat radiating off his body, could smell the sweat and blood and something uniquely him. "It would be using me if I didn't want it. But I do."
His hands tightened on my shoulders. "Merrilee—"
"I find you attractive, Ahrick." The words came out quieter than I'd intended, but no less true. "I have since the first time I saw you in the pits. And you make me feel safe. Safer than anyone has in a long time. Maybe ever."
Something shifted in his expression. Something hungry and desperate and carefully controlled.
"This isn't about safety," he said roughly. "This is about survival. About doing what we have to do to stay alive."
"Maybe." I slid my hands up his arms, feeling the hard muscle beneath his warm pelt. "But that doesn't make it a lie. I want this, Ahrick. I want you. And if it also happens to keep us both alive, then that's just a bonus."
For a long moment, he didn't move. Just stood there, his eyes burning into mine, his breathing harsh and uneven.
Then he kissed me.
It wasn't gentle. Wasn't careful. His mouth crashed against mine with a desperation that stole my breath, his handssliding from my shoulders to my waist, pulling me against him with a force that might have hurt if I hadn't been meeting him halfway.
I kissed him back just as desperately, my fingers tangling in his long dark hair, reveling in the softness of it against my skin. His body was all hard muscle and soft pelt, warm beneath my palms as I pulled him closer. He tasted like blood and sweat and something darker, something that made heat pool low in my belly.
His hands moved, one sliding up my back to tangle in my hair, the other gripping my hip hard enough to bruise. I didn't care. I wanted the bruises. Wanted the proof that this was real, that he was real, that we were both still alive and fighting and refusing to break.
He walked me backward until my back hit the wall, his body pinning me there, his mouth never leaving mine. The cool metal pressed against my shoulder blades, grounding me even as everything else spun out of control. I gasped against his lips, and he took advantage, his tongue sliding against mine in a way that made my knees weak. The kiss deepened, became something raw and consuming. I could taste the copper tang of blood from his split lip, felt the tremor in his hands as they moved over me—like he was holding himself back even as he pulled me closer.
"Merrilee." My name was a growl against my mouth, rough with need and something that sounded like fear. "Are you sure? Because if we do this—if I touch you the way I want to—I don't know if I can stop."
"Then don't stop." I pulled back just enough to look at him, to see the hunger and fear and desperate need warring in those gold-and-blue eyes. "I'm sure, Ahrick. I've never been more sure of anything."
I saw it happen—the careful control he'd been maintaining since the moment we met finally shattering. Hismouth found mine again, harder this time, more demanding. His hands moved over me with purpose now, no longer tentative. One hand slid down my side, over my hip, gripping my thigh and lifting it to wrap around his waist. The movement pressed us together more intimately, and I felt the hard length of him against my core even through our clothes. The sensation made me gasp, heat flooding through me in a wave that left me dizzy.
"I need to see you," he murmured against my mouth, his voice rough. "Need to touch you properly. Can I—"
"Yes." I was already reaching for the fastenings of the prize outfit, my fingers fumbling with the clasps. "Yes, please."
He helped me, his hands steadier than mine despite the tremor I felt running through him. The fabric fell away piece by piece—the thin top first, then the wrapped skirt that barely qualified as clothing. The cool air hit my skin, raising goosebumps, but I barely felt it. All I felt was Ahrick—his eyes on me, burning with an intensity that made my breath catch.
"Gods," he breathed, his hands hovering just above my skin like he was afraid to touch. "You're so beautiful."
I reached for him, pulling his hands to my waist, needing his touch more than I needed air. "Then don't just look."
His hands moved over me slowly, reverently, like he was memorizing every curve and hollow. The pads of his fingers were rough with calluses, creating delicious friction as they traced up my ribs, over my breasts, making me arch into his touch. When his thumbs brushed over my nipples, I gasped, my head falling back against the wall.
"So responsive," he murmured, doing it again, watching my face as pleasure rippled through me. "I want to learn every sound you make. Every place that makes you gasp like that."
His mouth followed where his hands had been, trailing hot kisses down my throat, over my collarbone, lower. When hetook my nipple into his mouth, the wet heat of it combined with the gentle scrape of his teeth made me cry out. My hands fisted in his hair, holding him to me as he lavished attention on first one breast, then the other, until I was trembling and gasping and barely able to stand.
"Ahrick," I managed, my voice breathless. "I need—you're still dressed. That's not fair."
He pulled back, his eyes dark with desire, his breathing as ragged as mine. "Then undress me."
My hands shook as I reached for him, sliding over the warm softness of his pelt, feeling the hard muscle beneath. I traced the scars I'd tended after his fights, the old wounds that told stories of violence and survival. He watched me with an intensity that should've been intimidating but instead felt like being seen—truly seen—for the first time in longer than I could remember.
I found the fastenings of his pants, my fingers clumsy with need and nervousness. When I finally got them open and pushed them down over his hips, he stepped out of them, and I got my first full view of him.
