“Well, if all I have to do is keep him alive, where do I sign?”
I sit on the arm of my couch, my feet on the cushions, and angle toward her.“If he turns out to be mine, I need help.”
There’s absolutely no way I can do this on my own.
“How much was that new contract for?I think you can afford a whole household of nannies.”She sinks deeper into the couch and crosses her legs.
She’s comfortable here already.Might as well just toss in a baby, right?
“I could, but there’s a lot that comes with that, and I know you.I trust you.”
She presses her hand over her heart.“That’s sweet.But honestly, I wasn’t in the babysitter club as a kid, never did Red Cross safety, and I’m not even sure I could put on a diaper.”
I flick my hand toward the changing table.“I can show you how.”
She tips her head, looking unconvinced.“Easton, we’re talking about a real-life human here.”
“And you’re talking about a real-life marriage.”
“It’s not the same.”She shakes her head.
“Marriage is important to me.”
“But it’s not a real marriage.We marry, but we don’t have to live together or anything.And then after a year, bam, it’s not working, irreconcilable differences or whatever they call it.Then your next marriage can be real.”
“Just that simple?”I lift an eyebrow.
She smiles and nods as though she’s already decided this is the perfect plan.
“And when the press finds out?What… we say we want to live separately as some case study?And then my family finds out.My big, over-involved family comes and wants to meet you, wonders why I stripped them of their chance to see me get married.And just so you know, there is no me having sex with anyone else while we’re married.I won’t let my mother think her son is a cheater.”
Hadley studies me for a beat.“You know, you always surprise me.”
“How’s that?”
“You don’t take relationships seriously, always say you don’t want one, you have sex with a lot of women with no desire to settle down, but then you have morals like that.”
“Are you adding this to the fact I didn’t fuck you in an underground parking garage after Lollapalooza because I didn’t want your back to get all scratched up from the concrete?”
“You didn’t not fuck me because you were worried about my back.You didn’t fuck me because we didn’t have a condom and you were worried that I’d be showing up on your doorstep with one of those.”She points down toward Decker’s condo where Tanner is.
It’s a reminder that I need to get back down there and take him off Penelope and Decker’s hands.This is their last night before the season starts, and they deserve to have family time.
I cross over to the window and brace my hands on the sill, looking onto the Chicago streets.They’re practically empty because not much is going on right now, but next week when we start playing again, they’ll be filled with Colts fans coming and going, celebrating with us and commiserating when we lose.
Once again, I’m back in the hot seat.How well will I perform?For the first time in my career, I have doubts.What if I can’t focus because I’m worried about the person I left Tanner with, or some nanny quits on me because the schedule is too grueling?Then I screw up on the field because I’m worrying about him and I get traded, taking him away from the found family I have here.
Maybe I should ship him up to Alaska for my family to care for during the season.It’s probably the best option for him.But then what?In the fall when I pick him up, he won’t know me.Won’t want to come to me.Won’t want me period.
If he’s mine, he’s mine, and I need to make my schedule work for both of us.
“You look like you’re doing a lot of thinking there,” Hadley says, cutting through my mental spiral.
I push off from the window and turn, resting my shoulder on the wall, folding my arms across my chest.“You understand what you’re signing up for if we get married?”
Hadley nods.“I do.”
She sounds so certain, but I have my doubts.She doesn’t truly know my world.Sure, we’ve gone into VIPs together, and she sees a little of the world I live in, but mostly, we’re meeting up in hotels or my condo just to hook up.Her publicly being my wife will be very different.
