I can’t help but smile. It feels good to know I’m helping him. After a while, my thumbs are getting tired, and I give him one final rub up and down his spine before sitting back.
“There. I hope that helps.”
Kai slumps back between my legs, his head landing on the towel. “So. Fucking. Good.”
I don’t know what to do with my hands, so I simply clench them at my sides and say quietly, “I’m glad it helped.” His eyes are closed, his head still in my lap. My fingers long to run through his hair, but I don’t.
The longer I stare at him, the harder it gets to keep my hands to myself. My tongue darts out to moisten my lips. Is his thermostat on the fritz or did it just get a lot hotter in here? Maybe I ate some wasabi by mistake and I’m having a delayed reaction.
Then, finally, Kai’s eyes open, locking on mine. He moves slowly, shifting to his knees so he’s facing me, his hands coming to the tops of my thighs. His large palms span the top of them.
“Kai,” I whisper. I have to know what he’s thinking. I can’t wait any longer for him to bring it up.
“Isabelle.”
“We kissed last week.”
He gives me a crooked grin. “We did. It was a good kiss.”
“What…what does it mean? What are we doing?” I bite my lower lip, but he reaches up and frees it with his thumb.
His head tilts to the side as he studies me with his dark gaze, his thumb still stroking along my jawline. Seconds pass by so slowly, I feel like I may explode out of my skin if he doesn’t say something. Then he does, only his answer leaves me even more unsure of what to do than before.
“Do we need to define it? Or can it just be whatever feels good for us both?”
I don’t know what to say.
Can it?
Chapter sixteen
Kai
I hold my breath, waiting for her response. Part of me can’t believe I just said that. What the fucking hell am I thinking? What would feel good right now would be stripping Isabelle naked and feasting on her. Sliding into her warmth and fucking her until we both see stars.
But that’s not exactly what friends do. And that’s all we are now.
Friends.
Not sure I like that word anymore. Not when it comes to Isabelle Murphy.
She should shut me down. Or I should laugh it off as a joke. We have no business starting something. And yet, I can’t imaginenotstarting something. Even if it means having to deal with the pain of her leaving again.
Her reply tells me I’m not the only one questioning the sanity of all this. And I’m not the only one wanting to throw caution to the wind.
“What exactly would feeling good include?” Curiosity colours her voice as her finger starts tracing circles on the back of my hand that’s still resting on her leg.
I shift closer, sliding my hands up. “Well, I’d think it could mean just about anything. Like maybe it means we kiss again.” Keeping my eyes on her, I lean in and press my lips to the patch of bare skin between her neck and the collar of her shirt. “Or more.”
Fuck me, her skin is just as soft as I remember.
“Wait. Kai.”
I back off immediately, but her hands cover mine, holding them in place.
“Can we really do this? Keep it casual? I…don’t want either of us getting hurt again.” She whispers that last part.
It’s not easy, but I force myself to really think about it. Ultimately, I choose to be honest. Even if it does put me in a more vulnerable position than I care to be in. “We’re good together, Iz. We always were. And I doubt that’s changed given how I feel just touching you again. It’s been a long time since I was with someone that mattered, someone that I had a connection with. I’d like to feel that way again.”
