But when Lark nuzzles into my chest, letting out a contended hum, I tell my overthinking brain to shut the fuck up and let me enjoy this Christmas miracle.
I guess I drift back to sleep because the next thing I’m aware of is something rubbing against my dick, making it uncomfortably hard. My eyes blink open, and I look down to see Lark shifting against me. Her eyes are closed, but it’s hard to tell if she’s asleep or not. When she makes a cute little mumblingsound, it becomes clear she’s not awake. Which means her rubbing against me is not a conscious choice.
I stifle my groan when her bare thigh presses down on my dick. It hurts, but in a good way. And if I don’t want to embarrass myself and have to do laundry later, unfortunately, I need to extricate myself from the situation.
But when I go to move out from underneath her, Lark’s hold on me tightens and she lets out a small whimper.
Well, fuck.
“Dan,” she whispers. “See me.”
Oh, Birdie. My heart fucking swells.I do see you.I always have.
There’s not a chance I’m going anywhere until she’s awake, so I try reciting my Little League stats to get my mind off how fucking amazing it feels to have her body against mine. To know that she feels the same way for me as I do for her.
Because all I’ve ever wanted is to find someone who sees me for me. Who loves all the things that make up who I am. And Lark is the one person I want to let in, to show all the sides of Dan Montgomery.
Her breathing changes, and when I glance down from the ceiling where I’ve made it to my fourth year of baseball in statistics, she’s blinking sleepy eyes open. I give her a nervous smile, not sure how she’ll react to what’s going on down below.
I watch her face shift from soft and relaxed to something else as our physical position becomes apparent.
“Um, good morning?” she says, phrasing it as more of a question than a statement. She drops her face into my chest as she removes her thigh from pressing on my dick. “Sorry about that.”
I clear my throat. “It’s fine.” Yeah, given how my voice just squeaked, it’s obviously not fine. “I’m just gonna…” I don’t finish the statement before rolling out from under her, throwing off the covers and dashing across the hall into the bathroom after making sure the coast is clear.
After I brush my teeth and get things under control, I return to the bedroom. It’s still early enough that Mom and Dad aren’t up yet, but I know they will be soon. Dad will get up first, as he does every morning, and make a cup of tea to take to Mom in bed.
Lark is sitting up on the bed, her hands playing with the Christmas quilt Mom pulls out every year. I settle in beside her, picking up on the uncomfortable vibes but unsure what the fuck to do or say.
“I really am sorry for whateverasleep medid to you,” Lark blurts out. “I didn’t mean to make you feel weird.”
Well, fuck. Rolling onto my side, I prop my head up on one arm and reach out to her with the other, pulling her into me. My own nerves don’t mean shit, not when Lark obviously needs some reassurance. It’s funny how I can get lost in my own brain, overthinking everything, but all it takes to calm me is realizing Lark needs my protective side to take over.
Her soft sigh as she settles into my embrace soothes me even further. And it gives me the courage to explain things as best I can.
“Don’t apologize, Birdie. You did nothing wrong. I’m the one who has to wrap my head around everything. You gotta remember, for the last few years, I’ve had to keep my hands and my thoughts to myself. I wouldn’t even let myself dream ofmornings like this too often, because when I did, I felt so guilty and messed up about it. Dreaming about my best friend while she was supposedly in love with someone else? It felt so fucking wrong, and I hated myself for it. But now that you’re here, thatwe’rehere, I don’t have to feel guilty about it, and I don’t have to hold back my physical reactions. It’s just taking my brain a minute to catch up to that new reality.”
“Oh.” That one word is filled with understanding, and the very fact that she gets me so easily feels like further proof that this was meant to be all along.
She was always meant to be mine, we just had to take a long and windy road to get here.
“I just need you to know, when I have a moment like I did just now, it’s not about you. Not at all. I just need you to be patient with me.” It’s hard to keep the pleading from my voice, and I wish I could be more confident and secure. But you don’t spend your entire lifenotfeeling romantic things for anyone else, only to suddenly have the one person youdofeel those things for become available — and wanting those same things — without needing an adjustment period.
“I’m not going anywhere, Dan. You’ve shown me in so many ways over the years that you’re a man who’s worth waiting for. You’re the man I deserve, who will love me the way I should be loved. I was feeling guilty for how easy it was to move on from Baron until I realized it’s only easy because I never loved him the way I should have. I honestly don’t know if I ever truly loved him at all. But you…” Her voice trails off, her finger drawing light circles over my chest.
No, wait. Those aren’t circles. Those are hearts.
I swear to God, if she doesn’t start talking again,myheart might stop completely.
“I’m falling in love with you.”
Holy. Shit.
I’m not saying I expect the heavens to open up and choirs of angels to sing, but this does feel kind of like a Christmas miracle. Like, what is even happening right now? Am I dreaming? Is this my brain cruelly torturing me by dangling the one thing I want more than anything, more than a championship, more than a contract that can retire my parents, more than a Bugatti in my driveway…
“Dan?”
Her tentative question snaps me back to reality. Back to the woman that just made my dreams come true. I lean in and kiss the tip of her nose before resting my forehead to hers.
