MAV: Where are you.
ELI: 10th street grill. Why?
MAV: Stay there.
I reach the dive bar in less than half an hour. The air is rank with stale smoke, sweat, and alcohol. I fucking hate places like this. My foster brother is seated at the bar, a glass full of light amber liquid in front of him.
“Why the fuck did you go see Sadie?” I bark at him, not bothering to sit down. He looks up at me with clear eyes for a change, and for just a second, I see a glimpse of the boy I once knew. Before Colin and I moved out. Before everything went to shit for Eli.
“I was lookin’ for you,” he mumbles, looking back at his drink.
I grab his shoulder and push him roughly, forcing him to look at me. “You don’t go near her ever again. Fucking hear me? If I find out you talked to her, you’re dead to me.”
"Jesus, Mav.” His wounded look does nothing to affect me. “What do you think I did, fucking attack her? We talked. I wasn’t planning on it, trust me. I would never…” He shakes his head. “Fuck. I would never do anything to a woman, especially not one who means something to you. I can’t believe you’d even think for a second —”
“Don’t tell me what I think.” My jaw is starting to ache from clenching it while he was attempting to defend himself. “All that matters is that you stay the fuck away from her.”
Eli stands abruptly, his stool scraping along the bar floor. He’s as tall as me now, unlike when we were teenagers and he was a scrawny little thing. He’s still skinny, but now we meet eye to eye.
“Did she tell you what we talked about?” he fires back. Part of me is relieved to see this side of him. This strength I haven’t seen in a long time. It sure as shit beats the dead-eyed junkie I normally see.
“She said something about you getting clean,” I say gruffly, willing to give him that. “And if you’re fucking serious, then we’ll talk.”
Eli shakes his head, and there’s no mistaking the pain on his face. “You don’t believe it. I get it.”
I wave a hand around at the dive bar. “Well, when I find you in places like this, where I know damn well your dealer is just waiting for you, what am I supposed to think?”
That pain I saw a second ago morphs to anger. “You know what, Mav. Fuck you. Fuck you and your goddamn moral high ground. You think you’re better than me? I might have fucked up in the past, but at least I’m trying to do better. At least I’m open to doing better. To being a better man. You’re so fucking trapped in the past, in who you think you are, you can’t let yourself be happy for even a second. I’m betting you got mad at Sadie for talking to me, didn’t you?”
His accurate assumption hits just the way he planned. My hands ball into fists as I step forward. He notices and scoffs.
“What? You gonna punch me, like you do any other guy you think is fucking around with a woman? You really think I’m like them? Fuck off. I thought we were brothers. Brothers don’t turn on each other. Brothers don’t walk away. But that’s what you’re good at, isn’t it? Shutting people out and walking away. You did it ten years ago, and you’re gonna do it again now.”
My heart stops. At least that’s what it feels like. “Is that what you think?” I say hoarsely, unable to comprehend how the fuck Eli thinks I ever abandoned him. “After everything I’ve done? All the times I’ve looked the other way or bailed you out of shit? You think I walked away from you?”
I can’t stay here looking at his angry face any longer. Turning on my heel, I do exactly what he’s accusing me of. I walk away. But a hand grabs my shoulder. My bad one. And I turn to see a fist flying at me out of nowhere.
I take the punch. It’s not a hard one, and I know Eli didn’t put his full strength behind it, but it still snaps my head back when it connects with my cheek. Lifting my hand to check for blood, I stare at him. “Feel better now?”
The bar around us is silent. Guess they’re used to the occasional fight because no one is coming to kick us out.
“Fuck you, Mav,” Eli says hoarsely, his voice thick with emotion. “Fuck you.”
I nod once, then turn away from him again. This time, he doesn’t stop me from walking out.
When I get back to the apartment, my cheek is throbbing and my mood is as black as the night sky. After leaving the bar, I didn’t go straight home, even though I knew Sadie was waiting. At some point, I turned off my phone to silence the notifications coming through. The truth is, I don’t know what to say to her. Hell, I don’t even know if I can face her. In the back of my mind, I know she doesn’t deserve this. But that’s overshadowed by this unwavering need to protect myself. To put an end to us before she gets any further under my skin. Before she gets close enough to hurt me.
Except I’m almost certain it’s too late for that.
Pushing my front door open, I take in the silent apartment, the only light coming from a lamp next to the couch.
“Thank God you’re back!” Sadie comes flying out of the bedroom and straight into my arms, which band around herautomatically. My mind might know I need to put distance between us, but my body hasn’t caught up.
“Where were you? I thought your flight landed hours ago.” She lifts her head and her eyes widen. “Oh my God, your face! What happened?”
Fingertips lightly brush my bruised cheek and I pull back. “I went to see Eli.”
“And he punched you?” She tries to step toward me, but I step back, making her freeze. “Maverick, what’s going on?”
