“You need tea. I can make it for you,” he says, giving me what I know is his best suck-up smile. “I’m real responsible.”
“Reallyresponsible,” I correct gently as he bounces off my bed. “And I know you are, Coop, that’s why it’s a definite maybe on the dog.Ifwe meet the right one.”
His entire face lights up, and I’m filled with so much love for this kid, my kid, I feel like I might burst.
“Thanks, Mom! I’ll be back with your tea,” he hollers as he runs down the hall to the kitchen.
Dropping back onto my pillow, I pull the blanket up over my head and try to recover some of the cozy sleepy feeling I had before I was rudely awakened. But it’s a lost cause, something I realized early on, being a single mom. Once the kid is up, I’m up.
I toss back the covers and swing my legs over the side of my bed, yawning as I arch my back and stretch. Ever since Sawyer and I started hooking up, I’ve been feeling muscles that I never used to. Sex with him is a full-on athletic endeavour, and I’m definitely into it. Being with him, I feel alive in a way I never have before. I feel sexy and powerful bringing a man like him to his literal knees. During our sex marathon weekend, he asked me to explain what I meant by “explore the back door,” and the care and consideration he showed by listening to me stammer embarrassingly about my desire to experiment with anal was pretty incredible for a casual hookup kind of guy. But it isn’t all that surprising to me, not anymore. He’s made it clear we’re just friends with benefits, but that hasn’t stopped him from sending me text messages almost daily, some funny, some just checking in. He’s living up to the friends side of things, until we’re alone, and then all the benefits come out to play.
And the best part is, he’s so engaged with Cooper, I don’t feel like I’m neglecting my kid or my job as his mom at all. I’ve avoided relationships in the past because I never wanted Cooper to feel like he came second to anyone in my life. Thanks partly to Sawyer’s shift work and partly to his connection with Coop, that’s not even an issue in my mind.
The other day he texted me, asking if Coop could come over after school to start working on the fire station LEGO set. The way my kid’s eyes lit up when I relayed the message was everything. I took him to Sawyer’s apartment and was promptly shooed away by them both. I headed back home and took a long bubble bath, and tried not to obsess over how good Sawyer is with my son. And how devastated Cooper would be if things changed and Sawyer wasn’t around anymore.
But that fear has lingered, like a ball of lead in my gut. I’m pretty sure casual flings aren’t meant to hang out with your kid; that’s a surefire way to complicate things. I know the more time they spend together, the more my kid is going to fall for Sawyer, and the more hurt he’ll be if Sawyer ever decides he’s done with the added complication of his fuck buddy having a kid.
“Here you go,” Cooper says, his face a mask of concentration as he slowly walks into my room carrying a mug. He sets it down gently before grinning up at me. “I’m gonna go get dressed.” Then he’s gone again, and I’m left staring at a three-quarters full cup of very milky tea, tears building in my eyes as I wonder when my kid got so grown up and how I’m ever going to protect him from all the hurt in the world.
I can’t. I know I can’t. But goddamn it if I don’t want to.
I drink the tea, which honestly tastes like tea-flavoured milk that got warmed up, but hey, it’s the thought that counts. Then I get dressed. By the time I get to the kitchen, Coop’s dressed and pulling some cereal down from the shelf for breakfast. We go about our usual morning routine, eating and cleaning up. To give the kid credit, he doesn’t go on and on about a dog; instead, I have to try and keep up while he chatters about some video game update he’s excited about.
“I want to play baseball.”
I blink a few times to catch up with the sudden switch in subjects. “Okay, I think the season has probably already started, but we can look into it. Why baseball?”
Cooper looks down at his cereal bowl. “Sawyer said it’s his favourite sport.”
Oh boy. “Hey Coop, I know you really like Sawyer,” I start, unsure of what exactly I need to say, but all too aware I need to say something.
“I know he’s just a friend, Mom, but he’s cool, and I’m old enough now that if you wanted to hang out with him, I’m okay with that. Like, date him, I mean.”
A short laugh escapes me, because when the heck did my seven-year-old learn about dating? “Coop, I’m not going to date Sawyer.”
“Why not?” He frowns.
“Because…” I trail off, at a loss for words again. “Because Sawyer and I are just friends. He’s not looking for anything more, and neither am I.”
Cooper stirs the leftover milk in his bowl, and I hold my breath, waiting to see how he’ll respond. Who knew my kid would try to be a matchmaker?
“Okay.” He hops up, takes his bowl and spoon to the dishwasher, then looks out at his tree house. “I’m gonna go read in the tree house till it’s time to go, okay?”
Without waiting for my answer, he grabs the comic book he’s reading and heads out the door.
What is with the men in my life leaving me completely flustered and spun upside down?
A couple of hours later, we walk up to the town square in the middle of Dogwood Cove. Hanging from the top of the gazebo is a large banner that reads “Dogwood Cove Animal Shelter Adoption Fair,” and there’s a lot of people spread out across the grassy area. Many are standing beside pens that hold a variety of dogs. Off to the side, I think I see a turtle slowly crawling around its own area, and there’s even someone walking around with a lizard on their arm.
“No lizards, bud. Not happening,” I say, touching Cooper’s arm. “Only critters with fur or feathers are welcome in my house.”
He narrows his eyes thoughtfully. “Does that mean I can get a birdanda dog?”
“No!” I reply quickly, and he laughs.
“I know, Mom. Birds are weird, anyway. But look at that guy.” I let him drag me over to a pen with a black dog standing there, tail wagging patiently.
We make our way around most of the pens, Cooper getting excited over every dog, and me wondering how the heck I’m going to make a decision about any of them. Then the voice that never fails to give me shivers reaches us.
