Something that signifies exactly how important he is to me, and I am to him.
Grabbing the white and blue paint, I get to work on the sky and the message I want to send to the man who means everything to me.
Chapter twenty-five
Beckett
By all accounts, I should be happy right now. Ecstatic, even. I’m falling asleep every night in the open and willing arms of the woman I’ve loved for over a decade.
And every day, she’s doing little things that make me think she’s open to this becoming a real relationship.
The thing is, I can’t fully shake what Sawyer said about me ending up hurt when Cam is ready to move on. He’s not wrong that right now, she’s vulnerable. She’s still grieving her grandfather’s death, and she’s still trying to decide what she wants to do with her life.
The other night I brought up the vacant storefront. Ethan had mentioned talking to Cam earlier in the week, and I waited days for her to say something, but she never did. So I brought it up. And had to witness her face shutter, and her words deflect, changing the topic to the wall mural and Ethan’s opinions on that.
Not that she’ll let me see the mural. Oh no, I’ve been told I can’t see it until it’s done. I want to be excited about why that might be, what surprise she might have in store, but then I start thinking about needing to lower my expectations to avoid disappointment. I know I’m a romantic sap, but Cam is definitely not.
Still, I can’t help but feel optimistic about her deciding to stay in Dogwood Cove when she tells me about plans she’s making with my sister and her friends, plans that are weeks or even months away. Things like a casual comment about her excitement over the live nativity Dogwood Cove does every Christmas or a question about the fall festival.
She’s connected to the town, to my family and friends, to me.
But will all that be enough to convince her to stay when she eventually decides what to do?
I push open the door to Hastings, lost in thought. The sound of my oldest brother calling my name snaps me out of it, and I turn to the left to see him and Jude looking at me expectantly.
“What’s going on, Beck? I said your name like three times.” Max has a slight frown on his face.
I give him a half smile and sit down beside Jude. “Sorry, just distracted, I guess.” At that moment, I notice there’s only three chairs at the table. “Oh, do we need another chair for Sawyer?” I go to stand, but the wince on Jude’s face has me freezing in place.
“He’s not coming. Said he picked up an overtime shift at the station.”
I sit back down, mulling that over. It doesn’t take a genius to realize my twin is avoiding me. Which is ridiculous and immature, but not all that surprising. Sawyer puts on a big game of being a cocky playboy, but inside, he hates confrontation and is just as sensitive as I am sometimes. It makes sense he’s still upset about me standing up to him for his shitty attitude after the hockey game, although, if anyone has a right to be upset, it would be me.
Jude and Max are both staring at me intently, and I give them a half-hearted shrug. “He’s pissed I called him out on some shit.”
Jude passes me a pint of beer. “He’s worried about you, Beck. And he’s not the only one.”
My jaw clenches. “Seriously? Come on. I’m a fucking grown-up, capable of making my own decisions about who I love and what I choose to do about it.”
“Love?” Max says, a hint of shock in his voice. “You two are in love? I thought you were just dating.”
I wince before I can even try to hide my reaction. “We are. Sort of. It’s complicated,” I say lamely. My eyes bounce to Jude, who, thankfully, has understanding written across his face. He gets it. He fell for Lily first and had to convince her it was worth the risk, taking things to the next level between them.
Studying my brothers in turn, I make a decision I know I might regret. It could come back and bite me — hard. But I respect the men in front of me, more than anyone else. And they’ve both overcome a lot of adversity in their relationships and are happily in love now.
“Cam and I got married.”
Max chokes on a sip of beer as Jude’s mouth falls open.
“What the fuck did you just say?” Max gets out in a strangled voice. “Tell me I didn’t just hear you say ‘married.’”
I nod slowly. “I told you it was complicated.” Taking my glasses off, I rub the bridge of my nose before placing them back on. “The short version is her grandfather left her a large amount of money that she could only access if she was married. Never expected him to be such a patriarchal old man but there you go. She lost her job, wanted out of Cliveden, but needed the money to start over. Wilbert’s lawyer assumed we were dating, God only knows why, so it seemed like the easiest solution. A secret marriage on paper to satisfy the requirements of Wilbert’s will, and then we were going to just divorce when everything settled.”
Max lifts his beer back up to his mouth, then pauses. “Is it safe to drink or are you gonna tell me she’s pregnant?”
The look of horror on my face must be answer enough, based on the smirk he gives me as he takes a drink.
“Look. We weren’t going to tell anyone, so now you can’t. Cam didn’t want people to know, because when we decided to do this, we really were just friends. I wanted to help her get her feet on the ground, living the life she wants to live. That’s all.”
