“Yeah. It’s fine.”
She starts to move again, keeping her strokes light for now. But I know she’ll dig in once she finds the tight spots. For now, I try to force myself to relax.
“It’s looser today, that’s good,” she comments just as her thumb presses in. “Ah wait, there it is.”
My teeth grind together as she grabs this wooden thing she calls a scraper and starts to pull down the line of muscle. This isn’t even the bad part. That comes when she hits my quads.
“Fuck,” I grunt as she digs into the mess around my knee.
“Sorry,” she says quietly.
“It’s your job.”
“I know; I don’t like causing pain, though. Even when I know it’ll be beneficial in the long run.”
I wince again as she pulls the scraper down the side of my thigh. I’m distracted for a second when my phone starts to buzz. But a quick glance shows me it’s nothing important, just the family text message thread blowing up.
Sure enough, message after message comes in. I don’t even bother reading them, turning my attention back to Lily.
“Let’s get you on your side for a bit,” she directs. “I need to work your hamstrings and your glutes, if that’s okay.”
I freeze. My ass? She wants to massage my ass? She senses my unease and quickly clarifies one important thing.
“You’ll keep your shorts on. I just want to check some trigger points.”
“’kay,” I say gruffly and start to roll onto my side. Easier said than done. But Lily’s there, helping lift my leg so she can slide a pillow in between. Goddamn it, I hate feeling like a fucking cripple in front of her. She might be my physical therapist, but she’s also a beautiful woman and someone who’s used to seeing me at my peak. Now she’s seeing me as a loser. A nothing. An injured washout.
“Your phone’s going nuts. Do you need to answer it?”
I give my head a quick shake. “It’s just the family chat.”
Her hands still for a second and I hear her suck in a quiet breath. “Must be nice to be home and surrounded by everyone who loves you.” There’s a hint of wistfulness in her words that makes me pause before grunting out a reply.
“I guess.”
Lily switches back to using her hands, pressing in on different tight spots and wiggling her thumb around, alternating that with pinching my fascia and twisting slightly to get it to release. Uncomfortable is an understatement. But that’s nothing compared to when she drifts her hand up higher, getting close to the crease where my leg meets my butt.
“Is this okay?” she asks, her tone carefully void of anything but professionalism. I nod and she continues, pressing into various places at the top of my leg and on the side of my glute. My goddamn IT band is tight as hell, and she’s finding all the places to work it out.
All the while, my phone is buzzing away. I glance at it, and yeah, it’s still just the family chat. It’s exhausting trying to keep up with all of it, so I tend to ignore it a lot.
“Are you sure you don’t need to check your phone?”
“Yeah. It’s fine.”
Her hands keep working, keep torturing, and I keep fighting back my grunts of pain. It’s pathetic that her thumb digging into a pressure point on my ass is the most action I’ve had in a while, since before the injury, at least. A depressing thought occurs to me that it’s probably the most action I’m gonna have for a long fucking time.
“Your family cares about you, Jude. They’re worried.”
Her voice is soft, hesitant, as if she knows that comment crosses the line outside of our professional relationship. But Lily is more than just my physical therapist. She’s basically an extension of my family. I know that and she knows that. And that’s probably the only reason she’s saying anything right now.
“I know they are. But it’s a lot to adjust to. Being here. Having them all around.”
Lily’s hands lift off my leg and she takes a step back. I shift so I can look at her, and there’s a grin on her face.
“My God, Jude, that’s the most words you’ve ever said to me at one time,” she teases. She steps forward again, and her hands return to teasing out the scar tissue in my leg.
A low groan escapes me as she pushes in and around a particularly bad spot. “Yeah, well, if it distracts you from doling out this torture, I’ll talk more.”
