Heidi
“No, don’t do it. No. No. No!”
My eyes fly open to a body thrashing next to me. Max is in the throes of a nightmare from the looks of it, his skin glistening with sweat, a deep line between his eyebrows.
“Max,” I say softly, barely dodging his flying arms. “Max,” I try a bit louder. But then he bolts up into a sitting position, looking around wildly, his fists clenching the sheet that is now bunched at his waist.
“Max, you’re okay. You’re safe.”
His head whips around to me. “Heidi?” he croaks, and that one word is laced with complete anguish. Cautiously, I reach out and take his trembling hand in mine.
“I’m here. You’re okay.”
His entire body sags back down onto the bed. He stares up at the ceiling, his chest heaving up and down for several minutes.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks hoarsely, and I lean into his side automatically.
“No, not at all. I’m fine.” My hand is running up and down his arm, hopefully soothing him as he comes down from the adrenaline rush. “Do you want to talk about it?”
The pain etched into every line of his body makes my own heart ache in return. I hate that seeing Thad brought up so much emotion for Max. I hate that while I was internally celebrating how unscathed I felt after seeing him again, Max was suffering deeply enough for it to come out in his dreams. I know, instinctually, there’s more to his story than just Thad. I just don’t know what.
Max takes several slow breaths, but the tension still radiates off him in waves. “Seeing Thad tonight. I guess it brought up a lot of crap.”
“Were you dreaming about your dad’s accident?”
He starts to shake his head, then nods partially, then sighs. “Sort of. It’s complicated.”
“Well, talk to me. I love you and I’m here for you.” I stroke my hand over his hair, smoothing it away from his face.
“The day Thad hit my father was also the day I found out that my girlfriend at the time betrayed me.”
“What?” I whisper, aghast.
Max rolls onto his side, burying his face into my shoulder. “I need you close if I have to talk about her.”
I squeeze my arms tightly around him in silence.
“In med school, I dated a fellow student. Cara.” He pauses, shaking his head. “I think I loved her. It’s hard to say now because what I feel with you is so different. But back then, I thought I loved her. Fuck, I was such an idiot.”
I can’t stand to hear him beat himself up. I tip his head up and kiss his lips softly, infusing comfort, support, love, whatever I can. He kisses me back, his hand gently cupping the back of my head. When he pulls back, I let him, knowing there’s more he needs to share. Thankfully, his eyes are a little bit clearer and there’s less torment brewing in their beautiful blue depths.
“Do you remember what I told you about my friend’s brother dying when we were kids?”
I nod.
“When Cara and I were doing our residency, the U of V research program was still pretty new. Dr. Nguyen was heading it up then, and he put out the word that he wanted to mentor someone to co-lead the research and eventually take over. And he wanted someone fresh. Pulmonology was my planned specialty, same as Cara at the time.”
“Wait. You’re talking about Cara Andrews?” I interrupt, surprise and understanding filling me. “What you said that night in the on-call room about finding your way to pediatrics later by accident. She was the accident, wasn’t she?”
“Yes.” He tilts his head back. “Not a lot of people know this, but when I entered med school, my original goal was to be a pulmonologist. I was dedicated to CF research and treatment because of Callum’s death. Cara and I talked a lot about our plans, about taking over the field, both in research and practice.”
Max is silent for a minute, his hand rhythmically running up and down my back. “Cara knew my story, about losing Callum and how that loss is what drove me to medicine. She also knew I never shared that because I didn’t want sympathy to affect anyone’s opinion of me. I felt my work would stand alone and show who I was as a doctor and what I was capable of. But I guess Cara thought differently.”
There’s a bitterness in his voice and his hand pauses its movement. I hold my breath.
“I interviewed for the position on the research team and so did Cara. We agreed it wouldn’t matter who won the spot, we’d be happy either way. And I would have if she hadn’t done it the way she did. Unbeknownst to me, Cara went to her interview with Dr. Nguyen and passed my story about Callum off as her own.” He lets out a harsh laugh. “Apparently, sympathy was the right angle. I had no idea what she did until the announcement was released. By then, it was too late. I felt trapped and couldn’t do anything to defend myself without being painted in a bad light. Not to mention, a couple of hours later, my attention was ripped away from her betrayal and onto my dad’s fight for his life.”
“Oh, Max.” My heart is breaking for him. To suffer such a betrayal and then be smacked with the fear of losing his dad, all in the same day. It’s little wonder seeing Thad triggered the nightmare. But my current anger is focused entirely on his ex-girlfriend. “How dare she be so callous and use your personal pain for her own gain. God, I want to expose her to everyone. What a fraud.”
