I tell her everything. About Becky, my anxiety, the medication I take, the therapy I’ll probably always need. All of it. I tell her about how hard it is for me to go home, where Becky and everyone else who made me feel less than still reside.
And when I’m done, a weight I didn’t even know I carried for all these years is lifted from my shoulders. I feel light, and I know, without a doubt, I’ll always be a better man because of this moment. Because of her.
There’s a heavy silence when I stop talking. Then Kat pushes off the couch and comes to stand in front of me. Slowly, hesitantly, her hand lifts and she rests it lightly on my chest. That simple touch sends heat searing through my body.
“I knew something must have happened to make it so hard for you to trust anyone. I’m sorry she made you think you weren’t good enough. And I’m so sorry I didn’t see your actions for what they were. I shouldn’t have run from you.” Her face is swimming with remorse and understanding. But the fact she feels guilty is not okay. Not after her earlier confession about how badly I broke her heart.
“No, Kitty Kat. You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who screwed up and broke us.” I lift my hand up to cup her cheek, but she shakes her head and steps back.
“You didn’t break us, Hunter. And too bad because I am sorry.” She folds her arms over her chest and stares at me, pain in her beautiful eyes. Pain for me, not because of me. “I shouldn’t have pushed so hard for us to tell everyone before you were ready. If I’d given you more time, if we had longer to build our own connection and trust, maybe none of this would have happened.”
I sigh, the sound laced with regret. “It wouldn’t have mattered how long we waited. I was so fucked up when it came to how I thought I measured up against you; I don’t know if I would have ever been ready. I’m the only one who should be apologizing for ever making you doubt my feelings. Because they’re real, Kitty Kat. So fucking real, it’s terrifying and amazing all at the same time. I promise you, I will never make you question that, ever again.”
Her eyes soften and thank fuck, she finally steps back toward me and wraps her arms around my waist. I don’t waste the opportunity, yanking her into my embrace and crushing her to me.
“Hunter, there’s no measuring needed. I see your demons and they don’t frighten me. I want the best of you and the worst of you. You just need to let me in, so I can fight those shadows with you.” She tilts her head up to look at me, and what I see written in her eyes has my heart bursting, in a good way.
“I know. I get that now. I’m just so fucking sorry it took me screwing up and hurting you to figure that out. Is there any way you can forgive me? Can we move forward?” I ask, hopeful, yet terrified at the same time. This is it. “I really am so sorry, Kat.”
“I know you are. And I won’t let us be defined by our past mistakes if you won’t.”
I let out a shaky exhale and open my mouth to speak but she covers it with her hand.
“No more apologies, okay? We’re only going to get stuck in a Canadian standoff, and I can think of much better ways to show our forgiveness instead of getting caught in a loop of ‘I’m sorry’s.’”
There’s a twinkle in her eyes that both soothes me and turns me on. And when she smiles that little smirk that promises all kinds of dirty things? I’m a goner.
Goddamn, this woman. I’m so in love with her.
Chapter twenty-one
Kat
I’m not trying to trivialize Hunter’s confession or our apologies to each other when I make my suggestion to him. I just want to cement our connection the best way I know how, and that’s with our bodies. There’s no doubt, no questioning, no room for worries or anxiety when we come together. And I know he sees that when he grabs me around my waist and lifts me up into his arms. My legs wrap around his body and finally our lips meet in a kiss that erases any lingering guilt or pain.
“Kat, I need to tell you this,” Hunter starts to say in between kisses. I chase after his mouth with my own, not needing to hear anymore words to know how I feel. “Babe. Please.”
I lean back in his arms, loving his strength and the ease with which he holds me. “You better walk and talk, buddy. Because I want to be naked in bed with you in less than ten seconds.”
His mouth flaps open and shut a couple of times before a slow, sexy smile creeps across his face. But Hunter doesn’t move.
“Hunter. Bedroom, now.” I say, trying to inject some sort of authority into my voice. My hand slaps ineffectively against his muscled shoulder. I might as well be trying to move a brick wall.
“It’s cute you think you’re in charge right now, Kitty Kat,” he says, his tone way too fucking casual. I narrow my eyes at him and start to squirm, hoping he’ll put me down. But I should know better.
“I said, I need to tell you something. And I need to tell you thisbeforeI strip your clothes off your body and make you come with my fingers, my tongue, and my cock.”
My body shudders in his arms and the heat that was starting to coil inside of me grows into an inferno.
Hunter tilts his head to the side and smirks at me. “Do I have your attention now?”
I nod, my tongue darting out to moisten my lips.
“Good. Because this is important.” He shifts slightly, somehow managing to hold me up with one arm so his free hand can come up to cup my cheek. “I love you, Kat Donnelly. And I need you to hear that now, not later, so you know this isn’t my dick talking, it’s my heart. Or maybe I should sayyourheart because you own mine.”
Well, shoot. Now I’m crying.
His thumb comes up to gently swipe away the tear that falls down my cheek. “Happy tears?” The smallest thread of uncertainty is in those two words. It’s now my mission to erase them completely.
