“But you got nothing in return,” I say. “Shit, you didn’t even come. Fuck, I’m a selfish asshole.” I move to roll her under me, determined to rectify things when she stops me, throwing her leg over mine and straddling my waist.
“Hunter. Stop.” Her hands come to my chest, and she looks like a beautiful warrior, ready to avenge, well, anything. “I’m not worried about the fact that you got off and I didn’t. If anything, I like that I can do that for you. Make you let go completely.”
Her body sags slightly when she stops talking, her hands resting on my chest. The strength and conviction fades and are replaced by something that makes my stomach turn over. I watch as she bites her lower lip, her eyes downcast, and wait to see if she’ll call me out on my bullshit. But she doesn’t, which means it’s on me.
“What aren’t you saying?” I ask quietly, tilting her chin back up so she’s looking at me. “What do you need, Kitty Kat? What can I do?”
“You can let me in,” she whispers. “I know there’s more going on inside your heart and your head than what you tell me. Let me in, Hunter.”
I hear the pleading tone of her voice. She’s right, she gave me what I needed — the opportunity to just let go and lose myself in her, but I can’t give her what she needs. God, I want to. So fucking badly. But I can’t, not yet.
I don’t answer her with words. Instead, I pull her down so I can kiss her, deeply, passionately, intimately. I can’t give her the explanation she wants, so I can only hope and pray that giving her a physical connection is enough for now.
Thank God, she relaxes into me automatically. I should feel guilty for avoiding her legitimate and valid request, but I only feel grateful.
Her naked body starts to heat up against mine as my hands travel up and down her spine, one tangling in her hair and the other cupping her ass. She starts to rock her hips, moving up and down my already hardening dick lying between us. My hand slides between her legs, finding the short damp curls that cover her pussy. She lifts her ass slightly, giving me access, her lips leaving mine as she lets out a small gasp.
“Let me make you feel good, babe.”
She nods, widening her legs just enough that I can dip two fingers in and out of her, teasing her until she’s writhing around on top of me. I bring her close to the edge with just my hand, and when I feel her start to tighten, I lift my upper body, taking her with me so that we’re both sitting, facing each other. Reaching over to the bedside table, I grab a condom and somehow manage to roll it on while she’s peppering kisses all over my face. Then I grab her hips, lifting slightly so I can line myself up, and then lower her onto my cock.
This time it has to be about her. I rock my hips back and forth in short, shallow movements. Kat’s hands come to the back of my head, and then she’s gripping my hair, pulling it slightly. I relish the pain, knowing that it means pleasure for her.
“Come for me, Kat,” I rumble into her neck, my lips sucking gently, not enough to leave a mark but enough to let her know the intensity of my feelings matches hers.
She lifts her hips up and down, my body meeting her every move. And it’s not long before I feel the telltale clench of her body around me. And even though I didn’t think I could be ready for another orgasm so soon, especially not with where my head was just moments ago, my own body responds, and then I’m moaning out her name as she chants out mine.
This time, I don’t make a run for it. I let her sink into my arms and hold her tightly against me. We’re sticky with sweat, but I don’t care. Because I can feel her heart racing, and her fingers slowly trailing up and down my spine, and the perfect contradiction of those two things — one fast and intense, one slow and satisfied, is what I need to feel right now.
I kiss her nose, then shift her off me. This time when I slide out of bed, I just tie off the condom, drop it in the garbage can, then go straight back to her side. I’ll have to go home soon, but I need a few more minutes with her in my arms.
“Are you okay now?” she asks once we’re tangled up again.
I nod, kissing the top of her head. But it’s a lie.
I should feel better now that I’ve made her come, now that I’ve brought her pleasure and put a satisfied, dreamy smile on her face. But I don’t.
Because it’s not enough. I’ll never be able to give her enough.
The following afternoon, Steve Larabee drags me out of the station for lunch. The man is remarkably stubborn and when I muttered that I was good with something from the vending machine, he just shook his head and told me I had five seconds to get up and grab my jacket or he’d convince Leo to put me on traffic duty for a month.
I don’t know how he figures he’d do that, but it’s not a risk I’m willing to take, so I join him. Of course, the very reason I don’t want to go to Camille’s today is the first thing I see when we walk in.
She’s like a magnet for my eyes; I find her in an instant. And her beauty just about brings me to my knees. Her hair is braided down her back, and she’s wearing jeans and a soft sweater. But it’s the smile on her face as she talks to Pete and Turner, two older men who live in town and come in for lunch every Tuesday. She told me once that they’ve ordered the exact same thing every week, ever since Mila opened the café a couple years ago.
You gotta admire commitment like that.
Steve and I sit down at the long counter and place our orders with the guy working the cash register. It takes physical effort for me not to seek out Kat. When I left last night, she seemed okay. Disappointed I wouldn’t stay but accepting just the same. But her disappointment stayed with me, kept me up all night, and is the reason why I didn’t want to come here today.
Not that I didn’t want to see her, but I didn’t want to have to disappoint her again. Which feels inevitable when I’m the reason we’re still keeping this all under wraps.
“Hello gentlemen,” her soft voice washes over me, and I long to reach out and pull her into my arms.
“Hey Kitty Kat,” I say, injecting a casual tone into my voice. “How’s it going?”
“Fine, thank you.” She gives me a smile that is so full of heat and promise, my eyes dart over to Steve to make sure he doesn’t see it. I don’t know what I expected from her today, but it wasn’t this. I figured she’d still be at least a little bummed about last night. But maybe I’m the only one overthinking and worrying about every goddamn thing.
Part of me is jealous of her ability to move on so easily, the other part of me is incredibly grateful she doesn’t have to live with the dark cloud over her head that I have.
