I crack a smile at how she keeps saying we. And in a wobbly voice, I say, “Right.”
“Excellent. Now, who wants tacos?”
Chapter twenty-nine
Finn
I have to fix this.
Pierre had to hold me back from running after Ashley’s car once the weight of my fuck up sank in. She’s right. Everything she said is right. I didn’t trust her; I didn’t trust us. I jumped to the worst possible conclusion, and let all of my insecurities, including some I didn’t even know I had, make me blind.
I know about Ashley’s past. I know what her asshole ex did to her. And most importantly, I know her heart.
Pierre only let me leave after I promised him I would not go straight to Ashley. It’s a hard promise to make, but I know he means well. And I know she deserves some space. Which is why I drove straight to my house, and called the one person who I know can help me fix this.
“Mom, I screwed up.”
To her credit, my incredible mother doesn’t say much as I tell her how spectacularly I fucked it all up. Instead, she helps me come up with a plan that I can only hope will convince Ashley not only how sorry I am, but also how much I love her.
The next morning I start to put the plan into action. Ethan texted me to ask why all of the women were at the apartment over the bakery with Ashley overnight, and I had to confess to him how wrong I had been. After he finished telling me what an asshole of an idiot I was, he agreed to help me with my plan. It took several phone calls and a couple of favours, but I think it’ll work. Even if I did have to swear to Mila that I would never hurt Ashley again or I’d risk losing access to the bakery for life.
It’s early enough in the year that by the time I’m ready, the sun is starting to set. After I shower and get dressed, I run around my house tidying everything. If all goes well, the best-case scenario ends with us here, together.
My brain is on autopilot as I drive to the winery. All I have left to do now is hope that she comes and that she’s willing to listen to me and forgive me.
Inside the tasting room, I survey everything with satisfaction. Ashley turned this blank space into something worthy of an award-winning winery. Everything she envisioned is perfect. It’s warm and inviting, with a subtle luxuriousness that says this is the place to be, without being pretentious. It’s everything I want La Lune Rouge to be.
I add my finishing touches: a bottle of sparkling wine on ice and a key to my house. It might be presumptuous of me to want her to move in, but it seems the best way to show her how serious I am about the two of us moving forward. I miss waking up with her every morning and falling asleep with her every night. I want to recreate the closeness we had at the Airbnb in our real lives, not just the forced proximity we had there.
The sound of car tires on the gravel outside makes my heart start to race.
She’s here.
I wait inside, putting my hands in my pockets so I don’t fidget with them nervously. Everything rides on this moment. Could I be okay without Ashley in my life? Yeah, but I wouldn’t be happy. I know that now.
The door opens and she steps in. Instantly a weight lifts from my heart. The first hard part is done, she came.
“Hi,” she says softly, her gaze traveling around the room. I see her take in the added touches, the candles and flowers I set up.
I walk over to her slowly and help her out of her coat, draping it over the back of a chair. Taking her hand, I lead her to one of the curved, two-seater sofas she set up for a conversation area in one part of the room. It’s killing me to not immediately voice my apology, but I know I need to do this right. Once she’s sitting down, I take a seat beside her, still holding on to her hand. My fingers brush over her wrist, and I can feel her pulse fluttering wildly.
“Finn —”
“No, Ashley, please let me say something,” I interrupt her with a gentle squeeze of my hand. She nibbles on her lip, but nods in agreement.
Taking a deep breath, I try to remember everything I wanted to say to her. “This room is what brought you into my life, so it seemed fitting this be the place where I ask you to give me another chance to have you in my life,” I begin, and I see some of the tension in her shoulders soften slightly. Good. “I’m so sorry I ever doubted you. No, wait, I need to go back further. I’m so sorry I never told you how I felt, never asked you to stay, never told you I wanted you to stay. I was an idiot, a scared fool, and I let that stop me from telling you how important you are to me. Our relationship didn’t exactly start in the traditional way, and I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world. But the one thing I would take back if I could is all the times I held back from just talking to you about us and about our future. Because that hesitation, that uncertainty, that’s why I fucked up and doubted you. I let my own insecurities and my own confusion break us. And now I’m just desperately hoping you’ll forgive me for being so stupid and give me a chance to fix this.”
When I finish, my eyes are burning. I don’t remember the last time I cried, but pouring my heart out to the love of my life seems to be what triggers it. As her hand comes up to cup my cheek, I let my eyelids fall shut and let out a shuddering sigh of relief at her touch.
“Finn. There’s nothing broken about us. I was scared, too, and I didn’t tell you how I feel. You’re not the only one to blame for all of this.” She pauses and when she tugs her lower lip between her teeth, my thumb comes up to pull it free. “You hurt me, Finn, by doubting me, by not coming to me and asking me about what you saw. You hurt me. But Summer helped me realize that my love for you was stronger than the hurt I was feeling.”
My eyes fly open to make sure I understand what she’s saying, and the love I see shining from her has me hauling Ashley into my lap and crushing her to me.
“I love you, sweet girl. I love you so damn much.”
“I love you, too,” she murmurs against my neck. And then she’s kissing me and the crack that formed in my heart watching her drive away from here yesterday is healed. Her hands go to the buttons on my shirt, and she starts to undo them. My hands find her ass and grip tightly as she starts to grind against me. When she’s peeled off my shirt, Ashley’s nails scrape lightly down my chest. My nipples pebble underneath her touch and my control starts to slip.
“Babe, if you don’t slow down, this will be over before it starts.”
