I see a flicker of surprise dance across her face.
“It’s fine. You didn’t want me here, I get it.”
“No,” I start to say, then I’m overtaken by a jolt of pain when I move my leg wrong. “Fucking hell. Sorry. Shit, I’m screwing this up.” My hands move to cup my knee, massaging my quad which is tense from everything. I don’t miss the fact that I wish she was touching me somehow, but that thought is overwhelmed by the agonizing throb in my knee.
“Finn, you don’t need to apologize right now. It’s fine, I’m fine. Let’s just focus on you.” Her hand flutters down onto my shoulder and rubs back and forth gently. “Tell me about California. No wait, tell me about France. You mentioned you used to go there to visit family?”
I know she’s just trying to distract me, but hell, anything is better than focusing on the tense energy around us, the sick and injured people, including myself, or the weird antiseptic smell of the hospital.
“Yeah. For years we would go to France to spend time with my mom’s family there. Sometimes we’d hop over to Scotland on the way to see Dad’s family, but I much preferred France. My grandfather owned a vineyard there, and the freedom I had was like nothing else. Days of just being outside, running around and playing. My cousins and I would play hide and seek in the vines, and my grandfather would set up scavenger hunts for us all over the property. Little notes that I couldn’t read very well because they were all in French.” I chuckle at the memories. “I went home and begged my mom to teach me more than what I was learning in school, so I could keep up with my cousins. The next summer I went back and shocked them all.”
“It sounds like you have a lot of good memories.”
“Yeah.” We fall silent, and in the quiet I realize something. The distraction worked. My leg still hurts like a son of a bitch, but I’m a lot more relaxed. But something tells me some of that is also thanks to Ashley and her warm, comforting presence. Of course, my body chooses this moment to crash from the adrenaline high of my fall, and in an instant I’m more exhausted than I have been in years. I slump back against the hard back of the chair, grateful that we’ve got space in our little corner of the waiting room for my injured leg to be stretched out.
“Tired?” Ashley asks softly, proving just how intuitive she is. I nod. My eyes are heavy, my limbs are heavy, and even though my knee is still killing me, I just want to sleep.
“Close your eyes. If the doctor comes, I’ll wake you up.” Ashley gives me a comforting smile. “You can even rest your head on my shoulder if you want. Acting as your pillow feels like the least I can do right now.”
I don’t let myself think about it, I just take her up on the offer and lower my head down to her shoulder, letting myself give in to the pain-induced fatigue. The only thought that I can’t push away is the fact that Ashley is finding her way past all of the walls I had built to keep her at a distance, and I’m surprisingly okay with that.
The sensation of a warm hand stroking my cheek slowly brings me back awake.
“Finn, the doctor is ready for you.”
“Mmm, Ash,“ I mumble as my head turns into her neck. She smells good. Wait, what? I jolt upright. “Shit.” My leg. Goddamnit, my leg.
“Are you okay?” Ashley’s hands comes to my back.
“Yeah,” I grind out. “Let’s get this over with.”
Three hours later, we’re finally on our way home. I’m wearing a pair of shorts the social worker at the hospital gave me when the doctor had to cut off my jeans, and thank God for small mercies. The idea of being in a hospital gown in front of Ashley makes me shudder.
My knee is fine, no major injury. The doctor thinks I just twinged the old injury. Rest and compression as needed, and hopefully I’ll be fine soon. It could have been worse, but I’m still frustrated by the injury. Ashley and I haven’t talked about how we held hands in the waiting room, she’ll barely even make eye contact with me. And I’m feeling a bit lightheaded and tired from the painkillers they gave me, making me next to useless. But even in my doped up state, I’m aware of her. The change in energy between us is palpable, like a warm current connecting us instead of the electric static that pushed us apart.
As we cover the short distance from Ashley’s car to the house, she hovers beside me as I crutch to the front door. The fact that she’s so concerned for me could come across as annoying, but it doesn’t. It just shows me how kind she is. Maybe it’s my decreased inhibitions from the drugs, but I’m starting to wonder just how bad it would be to cross that line with her. Take the chance on mixing business with pleasure.
When we make it to my door, Ashley reaches in front of me to twist the handle and open it. Her hair brushes my chin and I stifle a groan. Whoever said drugs make it harder to get turned on is insane.
“Okay, let’s get into bed.” Her eyes flash up to me in horror and I hide my smirk. “You. Let’s get you into bed. Wait, that’s no better. Oh my God. Get into bed.” She claps her hand to her forehead. “Shit. You know what I mean.”
I decide to take pity on her. “Yeah, I do. It’s fine, Ash.” I hobble my way over to the bed, then sit down carefully. She rushes over and lifts my leg by the heel and I flash her a grateful smile.
“Thank you. For everything.”
The look she gives me is full of such warmth and compassion, I almost miss the flicker of desire hiding in her eyes. But make no mistake, I see it. It’s there. And that alone is what makes me bold enough to take her hand again, threading my fingers through hers like I did at the hospital. Her gaze drops down to our joined hands, then back up to my face.
“What are you doing, Finn?” she asks softly.
My thumb strokes back and forth across her knuckles before I answer truthfully, “I don’t know.”
Her tongue darts out to lick her lips and that’s it. My restraint snaps. Any trace of fogginess from the painkillers is gone and I am all too aware of this moment in time. The hand that isn’t entwined with hers comes up to cup the back of her head. Keeping my eyes on her so there’s no mistaking my intent, I draw her closer.
“Ask me again.”
Her pupils dilate. “What?”
“Ask me what I’m doing.” The words come out as a growl. I’m barely holding back. She’s so close.
