“You know, many people believe home is not a place, but rather a person.”
It’s the first time she’s brought up Ethan, and I almost choke on my smoked salmon roll at how direct she is.
“Umm, yeah. I know, I kind of believe that.” I quickly drink some water and put my food to the side.
She looks at me over her plate of food. “Is it not plausible that just as Ethan is a physical manifestation of home for you, you are one for him?”
I nod, slowly, still uncertain where she’s going. This isn’t anything I haven’t thought about myself.
“Therefore, is it not equally plausible that when faced with the risk of losing his home, the most important person in his life second to none except maybe his sister, he panicked and acted irrationally?
“You guys said all this before we left Dogwood Cove.”
Paige nods thoughtfully. “We did. And it bears repeating.”
That’s the end of the conversation. Paige moves on to filling me in about the authors she hopes to meet tomorrow, and the books she’s looking to get in stock at her store. I pay attention with only half of my mind, the other half going over what she said, what all of my friends have said.
Maybe I do need to give Ethan another chance; I need to giveloveanother chance. He is my home, after all.
Later the next day, Paige and I arrive home with a car full of books for her store and a little bit of clarity for me. She parks in front of the bookstore, and I help her unload some of the many boxes of books piled high in her car.
“Thanks for taking me with you,” I say when we finish. “I needed that distance from everything.”
Paige looks at me thoughtfully. “I’m glad you came, and I hope you found some of the clarity you needed.”
I nod and give her a grateful smile.
“Do you know what you’re going to do?”
“About Ethan, or about Devereaux?”
Paige looks at me, surprise evident on her face. “I didn’t realize Devereaux was an option.”
I shrug, unsure how to verbalize the one question that still remains. “It wasn’t. But…” my voice trails off as I glance down.
“But now you wonder if selling, and leaving, might be the best choice if Ethan can’t love you the way you want to be loved?”
I shift on my feet, uncomfortable that she figured it out so easily. “I mean, yeah, sort of. The thought did cross my mind once or twice. I don’t want to leave,” I say quickly, beginning to pace back and forth in front of Paige. “But how hard is it going to be if I stay here and have to see him all the time? If we’re both in the same town, but not together?”
“Are you saying you haven’t forgiven him?” She sounds confused.
“That’s not what I meant. I have forgiven him, I just...” My voice trails off, because I don’t know what to say. “I forgive him for lying. I understand why he did it. But can I move on from him not trusting our relationship enough to know that I would stay? That’s the part I’m not so sure of. Because what if he never trusts us? I can’t live in a relationship where one person is always scared it’s going to end somehow.”
Paige nods, and her expression turns thoughtful. “I understand. I hope you know that we would all be very sad if you left. And if I may say one final thing, do you think you can find it in yourself to give Ethan another chance to prove himself?”
I feel my eyebrows furrow. “What’s going on, Paige?”
“I can’t say anything,” she says, shaking her head. “Just go next door and find Mila before you do anything else, okay?”
Confused, I nod. “Yeah. Fine. I’ll go there now if you’re good?”
Paige nods. “Yes, thanks for your help unloading. Bye!” She pivots on her foot and walks to the back of the store, leaving me alone.
That was definitely weird. But with Paige you never know what’s coming. I leave the bookstore, still carrying my bag from the trip to Vancouver, and go next door to The Nutty Muffin. It’s pretty empty inside, but I can see Mila. I push open the door, the chime tinkles, and she looks up. When she sees that it’s me, her eyes widen, and she smiles.
“Summer, you’re back. Did you guys have fun? Have you been to the resort? Of course not, you still have your bag.” She laughs, but just like Paige’s nervous tone earlier, Mila’s laugh sounds anxious.
“Yes, I’m back, yes, we had fun, no I haven’t been to the resort. What the heck is going on?”
