“Yeah, I know, I heard it all. Debated getting up, but figured nah, you’ve got this,” she teased.
“Wow. Thanks,” Noah replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
They arrived home, and Noah lifted Connor’s car seat out of the car and carried him into the building. Once they were upstairs and Mel had opened the door, he put the seat down and went to begin preparing a bottle. Mel walked around, turning on a few small lamps, bathing the apartment in a warm glow. Everything felt comfortable and domestic, like they had lived together for years and were natural parents together. Noah hoped that she could feel that too.
From his seat on the couch feeding Connor, Noah beckoned Mel over to sit beside him. She did, somewhat hesitantly, as if she knew he would want to talk.
“For a smart woman, you sure did pick a fucking idiot to marry,” he said lightly, hoping she would see the teasing for what it was.
Mel let out a deep sigh. “Trust me, I know. Looking back, I have no clue what drew me to him in the first place. Except, he wasn’t always so…”
“Douchey?”
She punched him lightly in the arm. “You sound like a college kid when you say that, but yeah I guess the description fits. He was ambitious and confident when we met, had plans and wanted me to be a part of them. I thought he admired my career goals, and that we wanted the same thing. Turns out I was wrong. He wanted a brood mare for his children; a woman who would happily stay home, give him babies, and keep a clean house waiting for him.”
Noah knew this much, and all it did was cement his opinion of the guy. “What about the cheating?” he asked gently.
Mel barked out a laugh. “Right. You caught that part.”
She began to fidget on the couch, and Noah sensed she was starting to pull away from the emotional conversation. Without thinking, he lifted Connor, bottle and all, and placed him in her lap. Startled, she froze for an instant, then naturally cuddled him in close, lifting his head to her lips so she could kiss him. When she looked at Noah again, she was relaxed and flashed him a grateful smile that told him she knew why he had done that.
“We tried for kids for so long. Finally, when the tests came back and showed that the damage from years of undiagnosed endometriosis made it virtually impossible for me to bear children, he realized he would never get that picture-perfect family he had in his mind. I think that’s probably when he first started looking elsewhere. What baffles me is why he didn’t just divorce me then. Why did he string me along for several more months, entertain my suggestions of adoption or surrogacy, when he was busy fucking some other woman on the side? I had to be the one to call it quits, tell him I thought we would be better off apart, meanwhile he had clearly reached that decision ages ago. Of course, being a naïve, trusting idiot, I had no clue he had impregnated someone else, until he brought her to our final divorce meeting at the lawyer’s office. She showed up, with her perfect pregnant belly, and he wouldn’t even look me in the eyes. He knocked her up while we were in the middle of ending our marriage. Couldn’t even wait for the ink to dry. To this day, I don’t know what he hoped to achieve bringing her there, except to hurt me. There was absolutely no other reason for it that I can think of.”
Melanie had shared her entire heartbreak to Noah in a low, even voice, as she stared down at Connor in her arms. The only indication that she felt any emotion at all, was the tear tracks he suddenly noticed on her face.
Silently, he lifted Connor out of her arms and walked down the hall to his bedroom. He suspected she would appreciate a minute to herself after sharing that, and he needed to put his son to bed so he could do what he needed to do.
When Noah walked back into the living room, Mel wasn’t on the couch anymore. He found her bustling in the kitchen, dishing up their now cold dinner. He put his hands on her shoulders, and she froze in place. He could see the tension she was carrying, and he hated the thought that she might worry about his reaction to what she had shared. Slowly, he turned her around and pulled her into his arms, tucking her head under his chin. Her arms snaked around his torso, and he smiled to himself as he felt her breathe in and out slowly, and the tension recede.
Chapter 13
Telling Noah everything had been nerve-wracking, but Mel couldn’t ignore the relief she felt now, standing in his arms with everything out in the open. And any worry she had held about how he would handle her news was erased by the warmth and comfort she felt emanating from his embrace. He had taken her infertility, and her husband’s infidelity in stride, and passed no judgement onto her.
“Suddenly, everything makes sense, babe,” he said softly against the top of her head. She sighed and nodded silently. She could feel his compassionate understanding, and knew that he now fully grasped the depth of her past hurt, and why it was so hard for her to trust her heart again. Even to someone as wonderful as he.
“You’re one of my best friends, Noah. And I love you, that way. I just don’t know if I can ever be strong enough to trust anyone as something more than a friend. It’s got nothing to do with you, and how amazing you are, and everything to do with me, and how broken of a woman I am.”
Mel despised the fact that she still thought of herself as broken. That was the last word she ever wanted to use to describe herself, but she was beginning to realize that was the ugly truth. Deep down, she did feel broken. Physically and emotionally.
Noah pulled away slightly, and placed one hand on her waist, using his other to cup her chin and tilt her head up so she was forced to look into his eyes.
“Melanie Haynes, hotshot ER doctor, badass cycler, and all-around babe, is not broken. She is tough as shit, loves her friends deeply, and makes the best nachos I’ve ever tasted. She’s fierce, but kind, and has managed to hide her hurt from everyone who would only want to love her through it. But that ends here. Do not define yourself by what that asshole made you feel. You are so much more than that. You know it, and I know it. Do you think I would fall for just any woman as deeply as I’m falling for you? Fuck no. You are incredible, Mel. And I refuse to let you believe you are broken for even one more second. If all you can handle right now is friendship and sex between us, then I’m going to give you the best sex between friends that I can.”
His words infused Mel with a healing light. He saw her, he heard her, and he accepted her. She was captivated by a sudden need for him again. A relentless thirst that had to be quenched. She pressed up on her toes and wound her arms around his neck before tugging his face down to hers for a kiss.
In between kisses, she managed to murmur the words, “Be my friend, Noah, right now.” He clearly understood what she meant, as he lifted her in his arms, turned, and walked down toward her bedroom.
The dim light from the lamp on her bedside table cast a warm glow over the room, and the silence between them added to the intimacy of the moment. Slowly, reverently, Noah stripped her of her clothes. His eyes never left hers, and she could feel the promise in his gaze. A promise that he would be there and keep her safe. All she had to do was let him in to her heart. She had to blink to break the spell, because letting Noah in felt inevitable, yet no less terrifying. This dance between them couldn’t last forever, she knew that. Friends with benefits never ended well. But here, in this moment, she didn’t care about the future. She only cared about the present.
When they were both naked, he gently pushed her backward until her knees hit the edge of the bed. She sat down and looked up at him with eyes that she was certain showed her desire. He cupped her head, gently running his fingers through her hair as he smoldered down at her. She dropped her eyes to his cock, which was jutting out from his body in front of her. She only had to lean forward slightly and her lips were touching the crown. She wrapped her fingers around the base and squeezed gently as she swirled her tongue around his tip. When she took him inside her mouth and began to slide up and down, he groaned and his hands tightened in her hair, sending a wave of both pain and pleasure straight to her core.
After a few moments, Noah let go of her hair and pulled back just enough so that she had to release him from her mouth. He reached down and lifted her under her arms, sliding her backward on the bed until he could climb on between her legs.
“You’re so fucking sexy you make me forget what I’m doing,” he ground out. He pushed her legs apart and ran a finger down the center of her sex, through the wetness there. “Now it’s my turn.”
He bent down and followed his finger with his tongue, swiping up and down her core, lapping and sucking at her until she was crying out from the intensity of it. When his mouth closed on her clit, Mel couldn’t hold back a moan. He thrust two long fingers inside of her, curling them to hit the perfect angle, and the combination of sensations, pressure on the inside and suction on the outside drove her instantly over the edge.
She came with a cry, her head thrown back and her hands clutching his shoulders tight enough to leave a mark. He lapped at her sex softly, easing her down from her orgasm before slowly pulling his fingers out, wringing one final shudder of release from her. Gasping, Mel reached for Noah, pushing him over onto his back and swinging her legs over to straddle him. She bent over and kissed him deeply, not caring that she could still taste herself on his lips. Her hips lined up with his cock which lay against his stomach, rigid and long.
