“Okay, so you had a divorce and your ex is an asshole. What else?” Reagan asked, and although the question was a valid one, Mel instantly felt defensive.
“What else? Let’s see. How about the fact that he left me because I’m infertile? Oh, he didn’t just leave me, he banged his secretary on the way out. Multiple times. So many times, that SHE ended up pregnant with the baby I couldn’t give him. Which means that now they are probably off somewhere playing happy families, and I’m by myself. And Noah wants kids. Lots of kids I’m sure. He’s a great dad, and I can’t give him any more kids, so why the hell would I bother risking my heart again for a man who won’t be happy with me being a joke of a woman!”
By the time Mel finished, she was yelling and tears were streaming down her face. She had unlocked the vault in her heart where her secrets lay. These were the secrets that no one knew. Not Callie, not the girls, and certainly not Noah. Truthfully, her husband’s infidelity hadn’t been a surprise. His shacking up with the woman he cheated on her with, before the ink was dry on their divorce papers, had been the final straw. Proof that he had left her because of her inability to bear his child. From the day she discovered Darren’s new living situation, at the lawyer’s office on the very day they were finalizing their divorce, Mel had vowed to never ever let herself be in a position where a man could make her feel inadequate again.
Mel swiped angrily at the tears tracking down her cheeks. She hated the fact that she still got so emotional, even though years had passed. Would she ever be over the pain Darren had caused when he flaunted his new life in front of her? Seeing his secretary—oh the cliché—with her rounded belly and Darren’s indulgent face was enough to make her want to vomit. She’d kept it together, somehow, but as soon as the papers were signed, the first stop that she’d made on her way home was the liquor store. One horrendous hangover later, and Mel had sworn off relationships forever. Until Noah Carlisle and his precious son had crashed into her life, needing her, and wanting her, and stirring up desires for love and family that she had believed were long gone.
“Oh, Melanie. All this time, I had no idea it was that bad,” Callie said softly as she walked over to where Mel had leaned against the counter, her arms crossed in front of her chest as if she could hold back the waves of pain. Callie gently pried her arms open and pulled Mel into a hug. Anna and Reagan joined them, and for a brief moment Mel let herself just sob in the safety of her friends’ arms. It was a much needed, cathartic release, and she realized how much she needed to just let go of all the anger and grief.
Mel sniffed loudly, then pulled back out of the group hug slightly. Her friends stayed close, each touching her, supporting her, in some way.
“So, that’s the whole story. That’s why I’m fucked up and don’t want to ever fall in love again. Because the man who I thought would be with me forever, turned into a total asshole and broke me.”
Reagan shook her head adamantly. “He did not break you, Melanie Haynes. He hurt you, and I’d like to hurt HIM, but you are too badass, too strong and amazing to be broken. So what, if you can’t have your own kids. Loads of women face the same struggles. There’s more than one way to start a family! And wouldn’t a handsome guy with a baby who needs a mom be the perfect start?”
“That’s the problem,” Mel replied honestly. “I can’t separate my feelings for Connor from my feelings for Noah. They’re always together, so we’re always together. We actually… came close yesterday, but then I got a call from work, and the moment was lost.” She blushed, thinking about just how close and how heated it had become.
“Wait. Close to what?” Anna asked slyly, nudging Mel with her shoulder.
“Oh god, are you going to make me say it? Sex. We almost had sex,” Melanie cried.
“I KNEW there was something going on at the pub!” Reagan crowed triumphantly.
“Yeah, but then I freaked out and told him we couldn’t do it. We couldn’t be together like that.”
“Why not?” Anna asked softly. “I’ve gotten to know Noah pretty well, and I truly believe he wouldn’t care about your infertility, and he’s definitely not one to cheat.”
“That’s true. That man is a die-hard romantic,” Callie commented, “almost as much as Jake is.” A dreamy look came into Callie’s eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, okay, he’s a good guy. But can I really take the chance?” Mel asked, fear warring with hope in her voice.
It was Callie who answered, Callie who said the words that finally gave Melanie the courage to take the leap.
“Can you really NOT take the chance to feel true love?”
True love. Is that what was growing between her and Noah? There was only one way to find out… And it would require Mel letting Noah break down the remaining walls around her heart. She just wasn’t sure she could find the courage to let him close enough to do so.
Chapter 10
When Mel told Noah over breakfast that Anna was coming to take Connor for the day, he was pleasantly surprised. Clearly the conversation with her friends had helped Mel move forward, if she was planning for the two of them to spend some time together without the baby.
She told him that he could plan their day, so naturally he instructed her to pack a bag with a change of clothes, but dress in her cycling clothes first. A trip on one of their favorite long-distance routes was just what they needed to remind Mel that their friendship was solid. And if he happened to create an opportunity for a little romance, all the better.
They discussed the route on the way to Noah’s place to get his bike and gear, and Noah tried to casually suggest a change to their normal routine. A change that he hoped would lead to a chance for a romantic moment for the two of them.
“When we stop at Old Town Brewery, instead of staying there to eat why don’t we get lunch to go today? Take it to a park or something,” he asked, hoping she would agree. Their usual plan was to stop at a brewery on the route, share a sampler flight of beer and a light lunch before carrying on. He hoped that this time she would agree to the slight change in plans, so that he could put the blanket he had in his panier to good use.
“Sure. We probably shouldn’t day drink when we’ve got to get home to a kid anyways,” she replied.
Noah grinned at how easily she went along with his plan. He had a perfect spot in mind, an area of one of the parks they rode through, that offered lots of options for semi-private spaces to relax and just enjoy being together.
Once they reached his apartment, they left their change of clothes there, filled water bottles and checked their bikes over for any mechanical issues, then headed out on the road. Much like his ride the day before, this one started with a slow meander through town before it hit the more open roads of the suburbs. That mean that conversation was limited at first, but Noah didn’t mind. He let Mel ride ahead, and simply allowed himself to enjoy watching her body move in front of him. Her strong legs pumping up and down, the strong yet elegant curve from her hips to her shoulders, and her long braid of dark hair hanging down her back. She was so beautiful, so effortlessly sexy, even in cycling clothes, she took his breath away. He admired the woman she was, strong, confident, sure of herself, but he saw beneath it all as well. He knew there was a woman hiding inside, longing to be loved. All he had to do was prove to her that he was the man to love her the way she deserved.
They stopped to pick up lunch and Noah slipped the food into his pack, along with two bottles of the ginger beer that particular brewery also specialized in.
The park he had in mind was a short ride away. He took the lead, riding slowly among the other park goers on the shared path, until he found the copse of trees that he was looking for. It was down a side trail that was not frequented by many, and as he walked his bike off the path, he found the perfect spot under a large willow. The trunk was wide enough to almost fully block any view walkers on the path would have of them.
“This is a beautiful spot, Noah, how did you find it?” Mel asked curiously, as she took off her helmet.
