I’m embarrassed, but more than anything, I’m angry. I’m pissed off at Blue for making me feel like this. I hate that I’m crying over himagain, but I can’t help it. I’ve kept this locked away deep inside of me, and Lucy somehow found the key and let it all loose.
Mila pulls back first.
She takes my face in both hands. Her thumbs wipe at the tears on my cheeks. Her own eyes are wet because Mila can’t watch me cry without crying.
“Why,” I get out, breathless.
The girls pull back to give me air.
Nobody says anything as I scrub my face with the heel of my hand.
“Why is he doing this to me again?”
The girls don’t know what I’ve been through. They can’t answer.
Mila looks at Lucy for one full second.
Lucy speaks gently. “If it makes you feel any better, Melly, Blue was really on edge. That’s why the guys called the house meeting. He’s been mad, and they were convinced it was because you had a boyfriend.”
Gianna snaps her fingers. “Right. So they called the meeting to tell him you were single, so he would stop being so upset.”
Lucy nods. “Benson said Blue took Stanley down on Monday. He has been playing extra aggressively since you went to the Halloween party with —” she hesitates, “— with Chase.”
Mara says, “And he’s a rink rat. I don’t think hockey players know how to express their emotions.”
“Yeah,” Gianna says. “Guys suck.”
Mara adds, “There’s one way to find out, though.” She catches her own tone. She backtracks. “But only if you want to.”
Mila looks at me.
I look at Penelope.
“Earlier,” she says. “When I asked you your type, and you said you didn’t have one?”
I keep looking at her.
“Is it because you have only ever had eyes for Blue?”
My heart sinks. My eyes water. My stomach goes into knots.
I nod.
I clutch my chest. I pat my heart, lightly, with the flat of my hand, as if to comfort the organ for what I have been putting it through.
Lucy is the first to speak. “Just come with us to the game tomorrow.”
I inhale, wanting to reject the idea. I don’t think I can face Blue knowing that his teammates sat him down to talk about his unknown emotions for me.
I look around at the four girls who I didn’t even know a month ago, and how we’re all standing inside my princess bedroom. Mila’s at my side, rubbing my back. They’re all concerned for me, not teasing me or making fun of how I feel. That’s new. I’ve only had Mila –– she’s such a hard-ass sometimes –– tell me that I overthink everything, and these girls are validating my feelings.
Lucy seems convinced –– because she heard Blue herself.
Mila whispers, “Let’s just go.”
I turn to her. “You think?”
She nods, and I don’t know why, but that makes me feel more confident. If Mila thinks it’s a good idea to go, then maybe I should.
