Aspen
I don’t want to go.
I make this position extremely clear to my roommates over the course of the afternoon, in escalating formats — verbally, then via the look, then via lying flat on my bed like a woman protesting her own evening — and none of it works, because Kirra has decided that I’m coming to the party. They have decided I’ll be the DD, and that’s justfantastic. I’m being dragged out and forced to have no fun. Awesome.
“It’s going to be huge,” she says, going through my closet like it’s hers. “My cousin’s friend knows the people throwing it. You said no on Sunday, and I let you. I’m not letting you twice.”
“I have work.”
“You did your work. I watched you do your work. You do nothing but your work.” She throws a top at me. “Three hours.”
“Like you’re going to watch the clock?”
She laughs.
I put in no effort into my outfit or how I look. This is deliberate. I wear the kind of thing I’d wear to the library,my hair down because making it would signal I cared. When I come out, Kirra looks me over and sighs like I’ve personally disappointed her and unclasps a thin gold chain from her own neck and fastens it around mine without asking.
“There,” she says. “Now you look like you have a pulse.”
The house is somewhere off campus, and it’s loud before we’re even up the driveway, the bass coming through the walls, and I groan internally. Inside, it’s hot and smells like beer and somebody’s vape. I want to leave already.
Kirra presses a water bottle into my hand — see, responsible — and then she and Bree vanish into a back room I can’t see into. Now I’m alone in a crowd of people who all seem to know each other, which is awkward.
I find the kitchen and keep my back to the counter, with a clear line of sight to the door. I lean there with my water and scan the room. I look at the time. Three hours. I watch people my age do the things people my age do — dance, shout, lean into each other, fall a little in love for the length of a song — and I have never in my life felt more like I’m observing a sport I don’t play.
Then I realize it’s been an hour, and I’m scrolling on my phone looking at hockey highlights. I’ll give the girls twenty minutes. Then I’m telling Kirra I’m —
“Aspen Linwood.”
My eyes dart to the voice.
Gavin.
Shit. How is he here right now?
He texted me that he was in town, and I deliberately ignored it, but I never would have expected to see him here.
This cannot be happening right now.
My heart starts jumping in my chest at the sight of him. I don’t even think I’m breathing when I meet his eyes. Great, he’s smiling. And I don’t know why. We didn’t end things on a good note.
“Hey,” I force between my teeth, glancing down at the beer in his hand. It looks like a prop rather than the real deal. “You.”
I wince, hearing my voice. I sound as fake as my mother right now.
He pulls me into a hug, and I’m immediately trying to get out of it. I hear myself fake laugh.Jesus, I need to get out of this kitchen right now.I look around for Kirra or Bree. They’re not in sight. Where did they go? I see Gianna Reeve, and then she walks past the wall.Shit.
He pulls back. “How are you?” He looks down. “You look good.”
My face starts burning. I can feel the heat crawl down my neck. The last time I saw him, we were holding up a pregnancy test and impatiently waiting for the results. I’ve tried really hard to get past it, but I haven’t.
His voice rings in my head,“Would it even be mine?”
“I’m good. Yeah.” He looks bigger than the last time I saw him. But in general, he looks the same. He’s always been good-looking. A little older around the eyes, maybe, the way they get when a season’s been long. He’s smiling at me with the exact smile he smiled the night he asked me out, and my whole body goes still.
“Aren’t you a little old for this?” I say, because it’s true and because it buys me a second.
He laughs. “I’m here on orders doing some sponsor stuff, community stuff. My friend dragged me out tonight.” He shrugs. “I figure, why not?” He’s loose and warm. He’s always been good at this. That’s how he charmed his way into my pants. He smiles like he knows it.
