The prize was a gift card to the diner.
“This is for you as a thank-you for having me impose on you.”
He could do as much imposing as he wanted, especially if he had his mouth on mine or his fingers in my hole.
We played two more rounds and then broke for refreshments. Ford, as the newcomer, was the center of attention. And when he called me his friend, he got more than one offer of “Oh, you must meet my nephew/son/cousin.”
Plastering on my best fake smile, I steered him away from the tea and brownies.
“Have you had enough or shall we get more cards?”
He shuffled the gift card between two fingers. “We could use this for a snack.”
It was only nine o’clock, but this was a small town and the diner would be closing soon.
“We have snacks at the cabin.” One of which could be Ford, but I kept that to myself.
“Then let’s go home.”
Home. He said it so casually, but it wasn’t his. He was there on a temporary basis and in a few weeks he’d move out. And what then? I’d have to ask my shifter friends what happened when fated mates didn’t mark one another. Did the connection weaken?
“That was fun this evening. I’m going to like living here.”
“Mmm, people are nice,” I replied, meaning me. I was nice people.
Ford charged into the cabin as though it was his own and began making hot chocolate. I didn’t hover and sat in the living room,checking what was on TV. This could be us next year or in a decade, but not if we were unmarked.
Could it be that dragons didn’t feel that intense connection that other shifters did? If so, only half my wish had been granted.
8
FORD
Living with my mate, but neither of us acknowledging that was what we were wasn’t ideal. I had no one to blame but myself for the situation. I was the one who bit my pillow instead of marking my mate. I was the one who blamed it on dragons doing things differently. I was the one who changed the subject anytime it hinted at being about us.
We were more housemates than anything else, and I hated it. But hating it and doing what needed to be done to try and move forward were two very different things. I kept waiting for him to tell me I was his, but he didn’t. Thing was, I didn’t do it either. I couldn’t. I let my fear control me.
“It was better to be like this than to have him fully reject me,” was what I told myself every time I started to get brave. And the longer this went on, the more I believed that would be the outcome. It got so bad, I even considered calling Jared so I had someone to discuss it with, knowing full well he would not care.
My agreement with Sampson was for one year, nothing more, and that made this even harder. When I took the job, that had sounded great. I was going to work by his side and get asystem in place where he wouldn’t need me anymore, effectively working myself out of a job. During that time, I’d save as much money as I could and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Now? Now that timeline loomed over me.
Zack and I had fallen into a routine. Every morning I got up before Zack and started my day. It was unspoken, but we hadn't veered from it. Maybe I should try and wake up later from now on.
It was still dark this morning. My dragon had kept me up most of the night being a butt, and I began my day flying over the house, trying to get him to chill. Looking down at the cabin I now called home brought up a complicated mixture of emotions. On one hand, it felt like home, where I belonged. On the other, it was like I was an unwelcome guest whose time was ticking away and where I couldn’t truly be myself because if I said too much, I could lose everything.
My dragon was continually pissed at me for not marking our mate and wouldn’t stop pushing for me to. I kept reminding him it wasn’t our decision, and besides, we wouldn’t be here for long. He hated it even more. I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to hold him back, and if it got to the point he was uncontrollable, I wasn’t sure what the next steps would be.
The sun began to crest over the horizon, and it was time to go back inside and take my shower. I had work today, and Zack was going to help out his birth den.
Unlike me, Zack had a den, whereas I’d pretty much cut off my flight completely. He didn’t live there, but he had a connection to them while having his own space. I wondered how that worked and how that felt, but never asked. It felt too personal. Days like this reminded me that his den tethered him to this place, addinganother check in the column of why it was good I hadn’t marked him that day.
My dragon disagreed. In his eyes, our mate was our mate, and everything else would fall into place if we had just been dragon enough to mark him already. My dragon was sure that my mate’s polar bear felt the same. But if that was true, wouldn’t he have marked me too? Wouldn’t Zack have called me his?
I drove into town extra early, breaking the routine we’d started. I didn’t care. I needed to get out of there, to get busy and out of my own head. I met up with Sampson who was always there early. He lived and breathed the store, which was a big part of the reason why it was so successful and also the reason why he needed me.
The morning went by quickly. Between customers, I showed him one of the new systems I was working on. In barely a blink, it was time for me to break for lunch. My thoughts drifted right back to Zack, wishing he were there with me, eating a ham sandwich behind the store.
I pictured him smiling at me for putting the extra cucumbers on the sandwich the way he liked. Then, my mind wandered back to the time he first saw my beast—the awe and wonder in his eyes, and then to the softness of his gaze as we fell asleep together that first time.
