“Your loss was my gain.”
“True. Anyway, he was fine with it, and I let him go, knowing he was with your dad and would have a good weekend. I badly wanted him to relax.”
“Jez,” I correct him.
“Sorry?”
“I don’t view Jez as my dad.” That seems to stun him into silence, and I cock my head. “You okay?”
“You don’t view Jez as your dad?”
“Nah, never have.”
“But I thought you’d got close that week. Reuben was so pleased about it when I spoke to him.”
I wave my hand dismissively. “I just told Reuben that Jez and I were getting on. He wanted that for us so badly, and it didn’t seem like a harmful lie. It made him happy.”
“So, you hadn’t started a reconciliation with Jez?”
“Did you meet him?”
His lip twitches, and then he groans and bangs his head gently on the counter. “Reuben, you fuckingtwat.”
“Hey. What’s going on?”
His head comes up. “Reuben was convinced you were going to have a relationship with Jez. Do you know why that meant so much to him?”
“Something to do with not knowing his own dad, I presume.”
He nods. “His dad walked away, and I think he always felt that as a gap in his life. He wouldn’t have wanted you to feel that same loss. He wanted you to have a good parent in your life.”
“Well, he definitely got his wires crossed with Jez, because Jez wouldn’t have known good parenting if the book on it hit him in the face. The sort of violence which, for the record, he came close to when he met my grandmother. It was only her insistence on Queensbury rules that saved him.” I shrug. “The only joy I had during that week with Jez was because of Reuben. I had no plans to see Jez afterwards.”
Grey shakes his head. “I’m sure I’ve known stupider misunderstandings, but I can’t think of any at the moment.”
“It’s not such a big deal, surely? Shall we get to the secret now?”
He grimaces. “Actually, your relationship with Jez is part of the story.” He takes a breath. “Jez knew about you and Reuben.”
I jerk in shock. “What? How?”
“He saw the two of you together. I don’t know the exact details.”
“Hope we were clothed,” I say offhand. “Oh, mygod. What did he do? Reuben never said anything to me.”
“Ah, that was the agreement.”
I sit up straight, my heart hammering. “What agreement?” I say sharply.
“After Sean’s funeral, Jez told Reuben that if Reuben attempted to see you after that week, he would cut off all contact with you. Jez vowed never to see you again if Reuben maintained any relationship with you.”
I can’t seem to comprehend his words. “And Reubenagreedto that?”
“He couldn’t put you through it.”
“Throughwhat? Knowing a shitty person like Jez? Wow, I’m so fucking grateful andhonoured.” My shock is fading and being replaced by rage. “This is it? This is why Reuben ditched me and jumped into bed with you.”
He says urgently, “It’s not that simple. Jez was a piece of work, Xavier. I knew him for years and never liked him. He was excessively good at manipulating Reuben. He and Reuben formed a bond of friendship at school, and Jez used that bond selfishly.”
