I blink momentarily, missing the pet shortening of my name. “I have every reason to be kind,” I say in a low voice. He looks at me, arrested, and I step back. “I know we haven’t always got on.” There’s a faint trace of amusement in his eyes, and I makea gargoyle grimace at him before sobering. “But I have always known that, despite everything, if I ever needed anything, I could always turn to you. I hope you know the same.”
He clears his throat. “You’ve changed your tune.”
I shrug and pat his cheek before pulling reluctantly away. “Playing the same song all the time is a bit pedestrian, and you know very well that is something I have never been.”
His lip quirks. “That is very true. Neither is your dog, who appears to currently be trying to eat my fence.”
“Shit,” I shout and race over. “No, Bernard. Leave that nasty wood alone.” I pause. “Don’t say it,” I call back and hear his laughter floating in the air. It makes me feel high like I’ve inhaled helium.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I say under my breath, and Bernard solemnly licks me from chin to forehead.
I’m finishing washing the breakfast pots when Reuben appears at the door. “I’m going over to the other side of the island.”
I wipe the counter down. “Why?”
“A mate needs a part for his van taken over to Iona. I’ll pick it up for him and then take the ferry over to the island tomorrow.” He hesitates. “Fancy visiting Iona?”
“What’s there?”
“Mainly sheep and sky and the funeral site for the Scottish kings.”
I shrug. “Yeah, that sounds nice. If you’re particularly irritating, at least I’ll know where I can stash your body.”
His face brightens like I’ve given him fifty quid. “Perfect. I’ll go and grab the part now. Do you want to come?”
“Nah. I think I might walk into the village with Bernard.”
“Really?” He looks a little anxious. “Do you think that’s wise?”
“I rarely do anything that could be categorised as wise. I’m not starting now.”
“From your lips to my stress ulcer.”
I snort. “I fancy a walk. I’ll take it easy, Daddy. I promise.”
He rolls his eyes. “It’s a steep walk back. I’ll pick you up in the village on my way back then if you want.”
I shrug. “Sure. Sounds good.”
He steps towards me. There’s something focused about his gaze that makes my heart start to thump. “What are you doing?”
He ignores my question and slowly raises his hands as if giving me the opportunity to move away. I don’t take it, and he grabs my shoulders and pulls me in. I keep my arms folded but go willingly and inhale as he presses a kiss into my cheek. His lips are so soft and warm, and his breath on my skin makes me shudder. His grip tightens, but he doesn’t make any other moves. Instead, he just lingers there for a long second, his arms around me and his lips close. I can smell his cologne, rich and spicy.
“I’mgladyou’re here.” He whispers the words into my skin as if telling a secret, and I shudder.
He pulls back, and we watch each other solemnly. “Please do not get mushy,” I finally say.
He touches his fingers to his forehead in a salute, tells me he’ll ring me when he’s on the way back, and he leaves.
The door slams, and I exhale a long breath. I look down at Bernard, who’s watching me curiously. “Well, and then there was that,” I say slowly.
The walk down into Tobermory is lovely. A wintry sun is shining, making the water of the Sound sparkle as if there are diamonds trapped in the waves. I watch a ferry track across the water, its flag flying jauntily. All I can hear is the rustling of the trees. It’s peaceful, but it’s a busy quiet as if everything around me is getting on with the process of living and growing regardless of my presence. It’s a surprisingly nice feeling.
I take a deep lungful of pine-scented air and revel in the feel of a clear head and plentiful energy. I’ve been sleeping deeply at night and staying awake all day—the opposite of my schedule for the past few years. I pause to look at the view and for the first time, I consider what might happen when I leave the island, when I go back to my old life.
As the cool, crisp air ruffles my hair, that world of hot lights, with its scent of cologne and instant tan, the touching and positioning, and the constant evaluation of my appearance, feels like it’s worlds away instead of a ferry ride and a few hours’ drive.
Do I want to walk a runway again? Have thousands of eyes on me?
