He kneads my shoulders, and when I shiver, he wraps the blanket around us both, pulling it over our heads and encasing us in a warm cave. “What is it?” he says in a gentle voice that makes me want to cry.
I think it’s only the darkness and wool covering that allows me to say what I do. “I think I’m lost,” I whisper.
He looks at me for a long moment. I don’t know if I was expecting judgement, but he doesn’t give it. Instead, he folds me into his arms, a tentativeness to the gesture that tells me he expects me to shove him away. I tense, ready to do just that, but then someone cuts my strings, and I fold into his embrace, resting my head against his neck, inhaling his warm scent and feeling his arms band tight around me. The blanket slips, and the wind immediately catches my hair, blowing it around him. It’s the first time in a year that I’ve been so close to him, and I both hate it and love it. Why is it only he who can make me feel safe?
For a while, we just stand there as he rocks me gently back and forth. “Then let’s be lost together,” he finally says hoarsely. “Until you’re ready to be found.”
I snort, my eyes hot with tears. “Aren’t you supposed to be giving me a motivational speech?”
He presses a kiss to my temple. “That would be a complete waste of my time. I’d rather thrash you at Uno.”
My competitive instinct is immediately roused. “I don’t think so. I’m actually very good at that.”
“Youthinkyou’re good at it. Sadly, I have to tell you that I’m probably better.”
I know very well that he’s distracting me, but it’s still working. “I don’t think so. Come on.” I pull away and start down the path.
“Where are you going?” His voice dances with laughter as it follows me.
“To prepare the battlefield for your eventual pitiful defeat.”
“Are we still talking about cards?”
I wave a dismissive hand back at him. “I’ll let you know at the end of the night.”
chapter 16
. . .
Xavier
One Week Later
Reuben’s voice wakes me up from a particularly lovely dream about eating hot toast covered in butter.
“Rise and shine, sunshine. Time to get up.”
I groan. “For the love of god,pleasego away.”
“No.”
I hear footsteps and raise my head, blinking blearily. There’s a rustle, and the curtains pull back. The light hits me full in the eyes, and I hiss like a vampire and pull the duvet over my head. “What iswrongwith you, Reuben?”
The duvet lifts, and he stares down at me. He’s dressed in faded jeans and a navy cable-knit jumper and looks appallingly hale and hearty. “Shake a leg,” he says briskly. “The morning’s wasting.”
“Morning?” I gesture wildly at the window. “The sky is still fucking black. It is not morning, you absolute cretin.”
He chuckles and pulls the covers off me completely. I immediately roll into a ball, pulling the pillow over my head. “Am I supposed to be convalescing from a drug overdose, or wasthat all my imagination?” I mumble and then shout indignantly as he slaps my arse.
“Donotjoke about that. Get up.”
I pull myself up into a sitting position and eye him dangerously. “If you put your hand anywhere near my posterior again, I will cut it off while you sleep. Do we understand each other?”
His eyes twinkle. “You never used to complain.”
“That’s because it wasn’t three in the fucking morning.”
“It is seven o’clock, and there are things to do.” He pulls out his phone and consults it. “I have a list.”
