“Thank you, but we aren’t skippin’ Cash’s party. He’d just bother us until we gave in and went. It’s fine if we go tomorrow.”
He wiped the tears from my cheeks. “Okay. I was gonna head to church in a bit, but I can stay if you want me to.”
I shook my head. “No. You go ahead. I’ll stay here. I need to work with the filly today anyway.”
“You sure you wanna do that today?”
“Might as well. It’ll give me something to do other than cry.”
His brow furrowed, his gaze serious. “You’re not makin’ a convincin’ argument, Chey.”
I appreciated the concern, but I needed this time alone. I needed time to think. To breathe. To come to terms with this. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”
His eyes searched mine for a long moment before he sighed. “Okay. Charlie’ll be home. Cash recruited her to get all the decorations set up… Maybe you could talk to her? I mean, since she’s, you know…in the same boat as you.”
“No.” I pulled out of his grip. “I don’t want her to know. I don’t want anyone to know.”
It was bad enough he knew. Yes, he was being absolutely sweet and accommodating and amazing, but what would this change between us?
I honestly was too afraid to ask.
He lifted his hands up in a placating gesture, concern washing over his face. “Okay. Sorry.”
More tears welled in my eyes before slipping down my cheeks. Dear God, I hated this crying bullshit. And here I was, a blubbering mess. I hated being pregnant. I wiped angrily at my tears and sniffled. “No, I’m sorry. I’ll be fine, okay. Please don’t worry.”
Maverick nodded, the concern still lingering in his eyes, in every inch of him really. I could tell he wanted to plead his case for staying—ever the protector. But I needed some time alone.
I offered him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
His frown deepened, a muscle in his jaw ticking. So, he clearly wasn’t convinced. I don’t think I’d be either if the tables were turned. But I didn’t have it in me to do anything more. A part of me just wanted to curl back up under the blankets and cry myself to sleep. Another part of me wanted to run away. Hop in my truck with Brandy and Country Road and just drive, drive, drive until we ended up in a new town, new county, a new state, even.
But I didn’t have a trailer. I mean, the winnings I’d made from the rodeo yesterday, combined with the insurance money were hardly enough to make a decent down, but I could make it work.
A longing stirred in my chest, that wandering, drifting part of my soul calling. I glanced at Maverick. Could I leave right now? He’d welcomed me into his home. He’d taken care of me. He’d saved me and Brandy despite nearly breaking himself in the process. Could I really just run away?
The drifter part of me stilled. Its whispers dying on the wind.
I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t fathom saying goodbye. But I knew that if I stood here any longer, he’d find a reason not to go to church and stay here to mother hen me. So, I mustered up my brightest smile and leaned up to kiss him. “Thank you, Mav… For everything,” I whispered, before walking back into the room.
The little red fillysnorted and paced the minute I grabbed a lead rope. She pinned her ears as I placed a hand on the latch to her gate. Well, great. This was gonna be fun.
I glanced down at Brandy. “Stay.” She laid down, settling in for the shit show that was likely to ensue.
I rested against the gate, the sun beating down on me despite it only being 10 AM. Maybe choosing to work with her right nowwas a bad idea. A thin sheen of sweat already coated just about every inch of my skin.
“Sh,” I soothed, opening the gate slowly and walking into the stall, latching the gate behind me. The horse pranced, a wild panic in her eyes.
She looked about as terrified as I felt.
Tears welled in my eyes, blurring my vision. Great. Just what I needed right now. But I couldn’t help it. The helplessness and confusion and just complete and utter shock shattered the floodgates holding back my tears. And I knew it was completely stupid, not to mention so incredibly dangerous, but I buried my face in my hands, sob after sob wracking my body like waves against a cliff.
How had I ended up pregnant? How could I have been so careless? So…irresponsible. I could still hear Nate’s threats in my head. The way he’d all but gloated about my tailer. He’d burnt down my home. What would he do if I had his baby and he found out?
I should call the Sheriffs and tell them he’d basically admitted burning it. But it was my word against his. The stupid trailer park’s video cameras were broken and hadn’t recorded anything in months so there was no way of proving it was him. No one had seen him. Plus, I didn’t want to see what he tried to do to me if I pressed charges.
I couldn’t have this baby.
I was terrified. Just as terrified as this poor filly.
