Guilt gripped me…and shame. So much damn shame. I hated disappointing him.
Ryder sighed and waved him off, offering me a sympathetic smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “He’ll be alright.”
I blew out a breath and nodded. “I know.”
“You sure you want to hop back on that train, Mav?” He pulled his ball-cap off and speared a hand through his hair before replacing it atop his head. “She messed you up pretty good this past Christmas.”
I didn’t have the heart to look at him as I spoke. “I love her,” I breathed as I ran a hand down Betty’s neck once before reaching for the clasps holding her in place.
“I know, but—” Ryder’s voice held no anger, no annoyance, just a hint of desperation.
I hated that my choices made him and Cash feel this way. Hated that I disappointed them… But of the two, Ryder would understand. He damn near gave up his career for Charlie.
Maybe one day I’d get tired of chasing after Ashleigh. But until then…
“If she’s willin’ to make it work, I’m willin’ to try. I gotta.”
Ryder dipped his head and nodded, a weak, resigned smile on his lips. He clasped me on the shoulder and gave it a reassuringsqueeze. “Alright. I can’t say I understand what you see in her, but it ain’t my life. You do what you gotta do. We’re gonna miss you tonight.”
I offered him a guilty smile in return. “Sorry I couldn’t be your designated driver.”
Ryder chuckled, his lips pulling into a genuine grin. “See you tomorrow.”
“Take care of your bonehead best friend, okay? I don’t wanna hear how much trouble Cash got into since I wasn’t there,” I called as he started down the breezeway.
He turned to me, walking backwards a few paces, his laughter echoing off the stalls. “I’ll do my best.”
With a sigh, I turned to Betty. She nuzzled my stomach, pushing me backwards with her aggressive demand to be loved on. “Hey, knock that shit off, pretty girl,” I muttered, but as she calmed, resting her head against me, I ran a hand over her forehead.
Was I making a mistake? Probably. Ryder was right…what she’d done at Christmas…It still felt like a dagger was lodged in my heart. Just the thought twisted it, causing more lingering pain.
I didn’t drink. Didn’t do drugs. But even I had a vice… and Ashleigh was mine.
Leading Betty into her stall and closing the door, I pulled out my phone. No calls or texts from her. We hadn’t settled on a time really. She’d said she’d be here sometime this afternoon.
Ain’t nothin’ wrong with just callin’ and checkin’ in.
It was a four-and-a-half-hour drive from Houston, maybe she’d want a distraction.
Finding her name in the call log, I pressed it and listened for the dial tone.
My pulse danced in anticipation, each ring sending my nerves skyrocketing. What if she didn’t answer? What if she forgot?
No. She wouldn’t.
Five rings. Each seemingly longer and louder than the last. Five rings that all but shattered my resolve, then…
“Hello?” Ashleigh’s light, airy voice sent a rush of relief through me.
“Hey. How’s it goin’?” I asked, pacing up and down the breezeway.
“Look…Mav—”
My heart sank right then and there. I already knew where this was going. Knew and couldn’t do anything to stop it. “You forgot?” I offered.
“No, I—I got called in last minute for a shift, and I—”
I bit back the disappointment. “Ashleigh, it’s okay,” I soothed, “you don’t gotta make excuses.”
