“He doesn’t hate you and you know it. None of us do.”
“You don’t?” I sniffled.
Charlie blew out a breath. “I understand you better than you think… I know what it’s like to run away from your problems. I know it’s not the same, but…when I saw the banamine in Ryder’s truck, I was so angry and scared that he’d fallen back into that behavior again. But then he’d explained and I just felt stupid and angrier, because he called me out on my fears and forced me to make a choice…them or him. I let my fears win out, and it just about killed me. I’d never felt so broken or lost as I did that night.”
I huffed in agreement. “I get that. It’s like this knot of pain in my chest that just won’t quit.”
“It doesn’t get better,” Charlie admitted softly. “It was literally only a week…but I felt like I was dying.”
Another wave of tears sprung to life in my eyes. I didn’t even try to wipe them away as I choked out, “You and Ryder are perfect together though. Me…fuck… I’m no good for Maverick. Just ask Aunt Violet.”
“Number one, who gives a shit what anyone else thinks? Who gets to say if you’re right for him or not? And second, Aunt Violet was actually one of the loudest ones in favor of coming to find you.”
I frowned, the realization more than a bit of a surprise. “Really?”
“Yes. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that regardless of whatyouthink of yourself, what anyone thinks of you really, all that matters is that Maverick thinks you’re enough.”
“To be fair, he also thought Ashleigh was.”
“Stop being a smart ass,” Charlie chastised, though there was a hint of warmth to her words. Tears still flowed down my face, but the sobs didn’t make me feel like I’d keel over and die anymore, so small wins, I guess. “Look, point is, you are good for him. Everyone can see that.”
“How? I’ve just brought up endless amounts of trauma for him, and—”
“And,” Charlie cut in. “You helped him find his voice. He’s more talkative now than he ever has been, which is saying a lot because he hardly talked at all before. You’ve made him more confident, more open with others, fuck, Chey…you got him to show his scars.”
I pursed my lips, wiping uselessly at my face once more. I couldn’t get the words out as a wave of emotion washed over me, drowning me in its intensity.
Charlie went on before I could. “What’s so fascinating about you and Maverick, is that logically, you two don’t work. You’re wild and reckless, where he is calm, unchanging. You’re bright and fiery, while he is cool and closed off. You’re spontaneous, always living by the spur of the moment, and let’s face it, Mav is a creature of habit. But despite that, despite all those differences, he tempers your flame, and you light him up. And if that isn’t something worth fighting for, then I don’t know what is.”
My heart swelled as I thought of Maverick. Of the perfect man who held my heart. I wanted to believe her. I really truly did, but that stupid, scared, little voice in my head continued whispering,run… Get away.
“It’s not that easy,” I choked out.
“Oh, knock that shit off, Chey. I’ve been where you are. Is it easy? No…but love ain’t easy. It’s hard and messy and there’s times when it gets so muddied and frustrating and dire that you don’t know how you can go on, but you do. You push through. You ride the storm. You tell the stupid fears in your mind to shut the hell up, and you love that man until the fear disappears, until the storm passes. It ain’t easy…but it’s worth it. I promise.”
I wondered if she realized how she’d grown from the time I’d first met her. She’d really come into her own, found strength in her relationship with Ryder and her journey into motherhood. She was brave, strong, and kind.
“Do you love him?” Charlie asked.
“Of course I do,” I choked out on a sob.
“Then listen closely. I’m going to tell you the same thing this really smart now six-year-old told me when I broke up with Ryder. He asked me, if I left Texas, who would be there to love and watch out for Ryder the only way I could… So, I ask you this… If you leave, who’s going to love Maverick? Who’s going to light up the darkness inside him like only you can?”
I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. Not as the weight of her words hit me dead in the chest.
“I know you think this is better for him in the long run, that you only bring him hurt, but you’re gone and he’s still hurting. And he’s gonna, until you come home.”
A sob fell from my lips.
“Come home, Chey…please.”
I struggled to get air down my lungs, that ringing filling my ears once more. I needed to think. To figure out everything. I just…I needed a moment to compose myself. “I-I gotta go.” Hanging up before Charlie could argue, I gripped the steering wheel with both hands, trying to ride out the fear and worry and pain raging within me.
Brandy whined at my side, nudging me with her nose, but I ignored it.
What was I doing? Was Charlie right? It was hard to think I was good for Maverick, like she said. Yeah, he’d opened up, but that wasn’t just because of me. But then I thought of that night he’d bared his scars, showing us all quite possibly the darkest moment of his life, and hope and love and pride swirled in my chest.
I took a deep breath and glanced at Brandy. “What am I doin’, girl?”
