“She gone?” he asked, as if he already knew. Maybe Cash had already told him, though I doubted it. Bad was the most astute man I’d ever known.
I thought of her. Thought of the baby. They both were gone. And I had no claim to that child, no right to feel this way, but itwas like having my soul ripped from me. I’d tried to play it cool, to not get my hopes up, but getting the opportunity to raise that child as mine was going to be an absolute honor that I looked forward to more than anything.
My chest tightened. Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I gave a single, stiff nod.
For a few minutes, the room erupted into chaos, everyone arguing about what to do. Ryder and Aunt Violet were in fierce agreement to go after her, while Cash and Bad held strong in favor against it. Charlie surprisingly didn’t say much, but there was a strange look in her eyes. Not anger, but sharper than sadness.
My heart thumped in my chest, the beat pulsating, quickening as the pace turned faster and faster. Sound turned muffled, almost like I’d jumped underwater. The blood in my veins felt hot, and the pain in my hand became a living, breathing thing. My limbs locked up, paralyzing me in place, my feet feeling like they were stuck in cement. Anxiety ate at me as each second that passed felt like my hold on my temper was waning. I fisted my hands at my side, a wave of pain so strong snaking its way up my arm that my vision blurred in the corners for a moment.
Fuck. I needed to wrap it so I couldn’t do that again.
“Enough!” My voice still didn’t feel like my own. It was cracked, raw, broken. I leveled a stern look at everyone in the room. “She’s gone and don’t wanna be chased. Now, can someone help me clean up my damn hand so I can rope today.”
“Maverick James Holstrom, you arenotridin’ in that jackpot.” Aunt Violet took a step toward me, defiance blazing in her gaze. “You and I are goin’ to the hospital right now to get that hand checked out.”
“Aunt Violet, with all due respect, I ain’t goin’ to the hospital. We haven’t missed this jackpot since we were kids, and I’ll be damned if I scratch.”
I looked at Cash for…for I don’t know what. Reassurance, or to just gauge his reaction. I knew it was stupid riding with a broken hand—something in there was broken, of that I was sure—but I needed to keep my mind on something.
I needed this. If I couldn’t go after Chey, if I couldn’t have her, then I needed this win.
Cash pulled his sunglasses off and ran a hand through his light brown hair. With a nod, he righted his glasses and said, “Big Daddy feels a win comin’ on.”
“Cash Ulysses Mooney!” Aunt Violet warned. “You will—”
Bad stepped forward. “Let ‘em go, Violet.” His voice was calm, gravelly, and held a sense of finality that even Violet didn’t fight.
Anger brewed like a storm in her eyes, but she waved a flippant hand in the air and moved toward me. “Well, get on over here. Let’s see what we can do with this mess of a hand.”
Ryder blew out a frustrated growl. “I’ll go get the fuckin’ trailer hooked up,” he snapped at no one in particular before storming through the kitchen and to theback door.
Charlie offered us all an apologetic look. “He’s just worried. He’ll be fine.”
“Why?” I didn’t understand the anger from him, not really. I mean, they were friends first but... Cash I could understand, he and Chey had gotten really close over the past few months, reminding me of long-lost twins or something.
“He knows what it’s like, losin’ someone you love because they’re scared to communicate their fears… He knows what’s worth fighting for. You and Chey worked really well together.” Charlie blew out a breath and sighed. “And she means something to all of us. She may have been your girlfriend, but she was our friend too. We’re worried about her. I get that she doesn’t want anyone coming after her, but…” She shook her head, glancing down at her pregnant belly. “I get why he wants to go after her.”
I hadn’t even thought of the impact her leaving would have on the others. Her and Charlie had gotten close too, sharing a bond none of us could even know with their journeys into motherhood.
I nodded, still not really knowing what to say.
She was gone.
Charlie excused herself from the room shortly after, going to find Ryder so they could get something to wrap up my hand while Aunt Violet urged me toward the kitchen peninsula to get to work cleaning the wound. Bad and Cash whispered quietly amongst themselves, but I couldn’t make out what. My mind had settled into a catatonic state—all the fight, all the rage, all the worry leaving me. In its place was that cold, familiar hollowness.
I didn’t even feel the pain as Aunt Violet wiped and cleaned my bloodied knuckles, or as she wrapped my hand with gauze and Coban once Charlie got back. Movement to my right caught my eye as Cash left out the front door without a word. Bad mentioned they’d be back in a bit, but I didn’t reply. I couldn’t find words…words were too much again. Not quite like the time in the fire. Icouldtalk…if I wanted to.
But I didn’t want to anymore. Not when the little bit of sunshine in my life was gone, leaving nothing but memories and darkness in her wake.
Chapter fifty-three
On My Way To You
Cheyenne
Idrove through thenight—a minor miracle since it was raining. But more than that, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks blurred my vision. I couldn’t stop crying. Couldn’t stop thinking of him. Of every moment since that night in Cowboy’s months ago that changed my life forever.
Him being all nervous, talking about horses. Kissing me outside. Asking me to read him one of my books.Lord of the Rings…but with porn in it.The fire, but the connection that we formed after that. The bond we shared. That first night in his home, and then falling for him a little bit more each and every day so that by the time he started talking again I didn’t stand a chance. Then there was finding out I was pregnant and through all of that, through all the fear and anguish and worry, he held me, he loved me, he supported me. And when we heard baby girl’s heartbeat…
