“But—”
“Maverick. Listen to me.” Bad spoke quietly, but no less stern. “Nothin’s gonna happen to you. Everythin’s gonna be alright. Just get in the damn truck.”
His harsh voice seemed to finally cut through some of the cloud of worry that hovered over Maverick. He blew out a deep breath and nodded, silently moving to me and offering me a hand. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, as he led me toward Bad’s truck.
Everyone else was piling into their designated vehicles. After a quick goodbye to Cash, Ryder, and Charlie, I helped Maverick into the backseat, before climbing in myself…
Chapter fifty
Concrete Angel
Maverick
Hollow.
I felt hollow. Cold. Empty.
Even holding Cheyenne’s hand, gripping it like it was a life preserver and I was lost at sea, I still didn’t feel anything. It’s like I was breathing, but not alive.
I don’t remember the drive back to the ranch. I think Bad and Cheyenne talked a bit, but I couldn’t be sure.
How had I let myself go like that? I’d never lost control before. Not like that. Never on a person. The punching bag, sure. But what I’d done… It’s like my control snapped.
Thank the Lord Bad stopped me. Had he not, well, I don’t think anyone could have.
“We’re home,” Cheyenne said softly, squeezing my hand. Her blue eyes swam with worry, her cheeks stained with tears.
Did she think differently of me? Did she think me a monster? Would she leave now that she’d seen this side of me? I wouldn’t blame her if she did.
A little trickle of fear ignited in my chest…and honestly, I welcomed it. It was better than feeling nothing at all. But I still couldn’t bring myself to speak as she helped me out of the truck and we headed for the house.
Brandy was there to greet us as Cheyenne opened the front door. She made sure to say hi to Chey first before coming to my side, sitting right at my feet as if she sensed my unease.
Bad shuffled just inside the doorway. “Want me to stay?” he asked, looking at Cheyenne, but it felt like the words were meant for me.
I couldn’t even bring myself to shake my head. To look at him, even. Shame and guilt joined the fear in my heart. I couldn’t begin to think what he thought of me now. He’d spent the last twenty years teaching me how to control my anger, my rage. He’d taught me to harness it, embrace it, and use it for good. In the course of five minutes, I’d taken all those lessons and shoved them back in his face.
Cheyenne’s voice was surprisingly calm as it floated through the room. “I got it…but thank you, Bad.”
I noticed him nod once in my peripheral vision. “Okay. Call me if you need anythin’. I’ll be back in the mornin’.” I felt the weight of his stare for a long moment. My eyes almost betrayed me.
I tried to not let the opinions of others define me, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care what others thought. Maybe it was the fact that nothing I ever did growing up with my father ever seemed to be good enough, but I craved acceptance. I needed it.
And Bad was one of those people that I sought it from most. I’d always strove to be the best version of myself—I owed him that after all he’d done.
I’d sure gone and failed him, hadn’t I?
He moved forward and pressed a hand to my shoulder. “Look at me, boy.”
Slowly, hesitantly, I raised my gaze to meet his. Those hazel eyes, so much like Cash’s, bored into me. My throat tightened, my heart seizing in my chest. It hurt to breathe. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I had so much to say, so much to apologize for. But nothing seemed like enough.
Something shifted in his eyes, softening the severe scowl that seemed ever-present on his face. He pulled me into an embrace. A real hug this time. One meant to soothe, not to subdue. I could count on one hand how many times he’d hugged me. He wasn’t the type to show emotion like that. We’d always been better with words than feelings, and that was saying a lot, since both of us were shit with words.
I clung to him, my shoulders quaking, the weight of what had happened becoming too much. He pulled back to look at me, something warm lingering in his gaze. “You’re alright, kid. It’s okay now.”
I rocked back at his words, breaking the hold of our embrace. “I nearly killed him.”
Bad’s lips pulled up into the whisper of a smile. “But you didn’t.”
