I sighed and tilted my head back beneath the spray of water before pushing the excess back off my face.
How the hell did I explain this to her? I didn’t even know what was going on, let alone where to begin. I’d avoided rodeos like the plague for the last three years. Sure, I’d experienced the familiar longing, the wistfulness that came along with thinkingof my glory days, but never anything like this. The want, the need, the compulsion of being there, even if I wasn’t competing was so strong and visceral I couldn’t ignore it. It was an ache in my chest that I couldn’ get rid of..
“You’re in Texas, darlin’, and what’s more Texas than a rodeo?”
She humored me with a soft laugh, but I still sensed her confusion. Her hands splayed on my chest held more tension in them than usual. “Hux…” she began, but I cut her off.
“Besides, look at you goin’ and plannin’ this wedding for a woman you hate. If you can do somethin’ like that, I think I can go to a damn rodeo.”
She was quiet for some time—a really long time—the only reminder of her presence that of the soft feel of her against me. The hot water had started to cool a bit by the time she spoke. “You don’t have to do this on my behalf. I promise.”
I slid my teeth over my bottom lip before blowing out a breath. “I want to. Let me do this, Quinn.”
Another moment of still silence from her. I felt her nod and then press a soft kiss to my chest. “Why? Why now?”
It was a good question. One I’d been pondering these past few minutes as well. Why now? I pulled Quinn into my arms, felt her soft skin against mine, inhaled the scent of her vanilla body wash mingling with the steam, focused on the reassuring pressure of her hands on my chest. I trailed my fingers up the curves of her hips, along the dip of her shoulder and the column of her neck before settling a hand on either side of her face. A satisfied smirk threatened my lips at the breathy gasp that escaped her.
It was all so clear now.
It was her.
With her, things felt easier. Brighter. Livelier. With her, I found myselfwantingto do things. Wanting to go out, wantingto face a new day. Before Quinn’s arrival, I’d just been existing—in the most basic sense. Wake up, go through the motions, contemplate the point of it all, drink myself to sleep a good portion of those nights, then start it up again. And I knew it probably seemed rash or forward or unbelievable, but in a couple short days Quinn had made me want to live again. I wondered what a few months with her would do? Years? Hell, maybe the rest of forever.
Dating had never really been my thing. I’d always been more driven by my career, by making it than finding love along the way. Not that I hadn’t had any relationships, but I’d never dated anyone that made me think offoreverwhen I thought of them.
I thought that with her. I felt it when I kissed her.
I wanted forever. And I wanted it with Quinn.
“In therapy,” I managed to croak out, “Doc talked a lot about motivators for facin’ our fears, and how it’s different for everyone. For some people it’s faith or religion. For others it’s just time. And sometimes it’s an event or a person.” I blew out a breath, completely unfazed as the water continued to drop in temperature. “I thought it was a bunch of bullshit. I wasn’t about to go to church and have people recognize me. It’s been almost three years since the accident and time hasn’t lessened the hurt of what happened. And no job or event or anything like that helped. But then you came along.” I leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead before resting my head to hers. “I don’t know what the hell you did, or what kind of magic you possess, but I want to take you to the rodeo. Show you that part of me…even if it hurts.”And I knew it was gonna hurt. I swallowed past the lump in my throat before continuing, “But it’s okay if it does, because I know…well, I know I got you to lean on.”
The admission rocked me about as much as it did her, making my chest tight, and my pulse quicken. But if this stupidaccident had taught me anything, it was that time was not promised, and if you wanted something, you should go for it. Who knew how long you’d have it.
The soft pressure of her hands cupping the backs of my wrists greeted me. “Hux, I….” her words washed away like the water down the drain. When she spoke next, her voice quaked, “I’m here for you. Through all of it. I want to see every part of you. Every single piece.”
And then her lips brushed against mine with an intensity I happily matched. For a few long moments I lost myself in the feel of her and how perfect she felt in my arms. But as her fingers danced dangerously low on my waist, brushing against my cock, I let out a groan. “Fuck, Quinn,” I breathed. “Careful, or I may just change my mind.”
Her laughter was light, lyrical, and full of mischief as she toyed with my cock once more, eliciting another growl from me. “You sure you wanna go? We could stay here. I could make you dinner and you can fuck me all night.”
She really wasn’t the innocent little angel I’d pegged her for, that was for sure. And despite the fact that all of that sounded like a damn dream, despite every fiber of my being wanting to do exactly that, I grabbed her hand and pressed her up against the wall. “Darlin’ as nice as that sounds, I wanna devote every single ounce of my attention to making you come again and again, and I want to do this.”
My heart clamored in my chest. I hoped she understood. She lifted her hands to cup my face and I reveled in the feel of her slick body sliding against mine as she rose up on tip-toe to kiss me lightly before whispering, “Take me to the rodeo, Hux.”
Chapter twenty-five
Leather
Quinn
Iwas glad we’dbeen in the shower for Hux’s revelation. The water washed away my tears before Hux could realize I was crying… Hopefully. Hearing him talk about how he’d just been existing before I came around…how I made him want to live again. It broke my heart that he could think so low of himself. He was so wonderful and brave and strong, and I wished he could see himself how I saw him.
Because he was nothing short of amazing.
I’m sure plenty of people might have seen that as a red flag. I could imagine my mom’s mom saying something about how irrational I was being, throwing myself at a broken man, and what did that say if he needed me to feel alive again.
But he wasn’t broken. Not to me.
At least I wouldn’t get any flack from Dad. Him and Georgette had gotten together even quicker than Hux and I.
