“You don’t get it, I hate disappointing him.” Anyone in general. I was the epitome of a people pleaser. A perfectionist. And I had a problem with saying no. Dad knew it. That’s why he expected this of me.
“Who gives a damn what he thinks? If you live your life for others, you’re gonna lose yourself eventually.” He said the words with such ease, such nonchalance. It should annoy me, he was so blunt and brusque it bordered on being rude or callous, at the very least, but it worked for him. There was a raw honesty to him that I could appreciate.
I huffed. “Easier said than done.”
“Most things that are worth doin’ are hard.”
“You’re probably right…actually, I know you’re right, it’s just…”
“Hard?” he offered.
I nodded, and we descended into stilted silence. I glanced up at him, finding his expression expectant, like he was waiting for me to say something. “Oh shit, yeah. You’re right. Sorry,” I breathed, a soft chuckle floating between us. “I nodded, but you…” my words trailed off, a wave of embarrassment flooding through me.
I’d have to remember to be more vocal. Mom and Dad always joked about how I didn’t even have to say a word, I wore all my expressions on my face. That wouldn’t work if I intended to be around Hux. Just the thought had butterflies fluttering in my chest.
“It’s okay. I get it. Not many folks are used to talkin’ to a blind person.” There was a hard edge to his voice, but I got the feeling it wasn’t aimed at me. More like himself. His circumstance.
I wondered if it was rude to ask him if he’d been born like that or if he’d gone blind. It probably was.
“You wanna know how it happened, don’t you?” he asked, his rough, harsh voice filling the silence between us.
I gaped. “Can you, like, read minds or something?”
A smile cracked on his lips, a genuine laugh escaping him. The rich, deep sound did something to me. And that smile…maybe it was because in the time I’d met him, I’d mostly seen him broody or shut off, but that smile was like a setting sun.
How was it possible to be so attracted to a stranger? I swear, I was majorly crushing on him… It was a good thing he couldn’t see me.
“Most people are curious,” he replied, before sighing. “I wasn’t born like this. I uh…I had an accident.”
There was a finality to the words that gave me the sense that if I pushed, he’d just shut it down.
“I’m sorry. How long ago did it happen?” I asked hesitantly, wondering if that question was off limits too.
“Three years this August.”
About a month from now. Holy God, I couldn’t even imagine how hard that must have been for him. I voiced the thought aloud.
A muscle feathered in his scruffy jaw, and he flexed his hand once more. Rusty leaned into him on instinct. “It’s…shit in a lot of ways. But, I’m not dead, so I guess there’s that.”
“I’m sorry.” That seemed hollow, but I didn’t know what else to say. What could you say to that?
He shrugged, petting Rusty for a long, silent moment. “Why are you apologizin’? It ain’t your fault.”
“I know, I just…” My words fell away again. Why did it feel like everytime I opened my mouth with him I put my foot in it?
“You goin’ out with Travis and the rest of the group tonight?” he asked.
“Yeah, Whit would kill me if I didn’t.” I bit my lip, nerves trickling to life in me. “Are you coming too?”
“Me?” He shook his head. “Nah, probably not.”
My heart sank. “How come?”
Another shrug. “Ain’t really my scene.”
I blew out a breath. “I get that. It’s not really my scene either… but not gonna lie, I was kinda hoping you’d come.”
He rocked back at that, his gaze still not quite fixed on me. The ever-present scowl on his face deepened. “Why?” Disbelief rang in the word.
