Thomas huffed out a laugh, and for the first time that day, Rowan saw a smile on his face.
“To coffee,” Thomas echoed, clinking his mug against Rowan’s.
They sat there for a few more minutes, drinking their coffee in silence.Rowan felt something warm and hopeful settle in his chest.Maybe Thomas didn’t trust him yet, but it was a start, and Rowan was willing to be patient.He’d wait as long as it took for Thomas to let him in, because he had a feeling that once Thomas did, it would be worth it.
For now, coffee was enough.
* * * *
THOMAS DIDN’T KNOWwhat to do or say.He didn’t want to think about what might have happened if Rowan hadn’t noticed he was about to give one of the animals the wrong dosage.He wasn’t a vet, so he didn’t know for sure, but he couldn’t imagine it would’ve been good.He would never have forgiven himself, especially because he knew why he’d been making that mistake.
He was exhausted.He had too much on his plate and not enough support, and that was entirely his fault.Hiding that he was getting his GED from his family had been his choice, but he was starting to wonder if it had been the right one.
What did he have to be ashamed of?His family already knew he didn’t have his high school diploma.He’d been living with them on the street since he was barely more than a kid.They knew he hadn’t finished high school.Actually, Thomas was surprised that none of them had suggested he do it yet.They wouldn’t care if he failed, either.They’d be sad for him, but they’d support him, whether or not he wanted to try again.Besides, there was no way for him to know if he’d fail.He might feel like an idiot when he studied sometimes, but he knew it was just a feeling.
Well, it wasn’t right now.Hehadbeen an idiot about this.He’d risked hurting one of the animals in the sanctuary, and he hated the thought.
“Are you going to report me to Shane?”he asked.
Rowan blinked.It was as if he hadn’t expected Thomas to ask that, which Thomas didn’t understand.Of course he wanted to know.He didn’t want to lose his job, but maybe he should.
“No,” Rowan said.“It was a mistake, and nothing happened, anyway.You shouldn’t be punished for that.”
“I should be if I put a life in danger.”
“Thomas, no one’s perfect.”
Rowan leaned closer.He didn’t get too close, for which Thomas was glad, but it made him wonder how Rowan could know that he wasn’t comfortable.Was he that easy to read, or was it a Rowan thing?
“I don’t know what’s going on with you, and you don’t have to tell me, but I think you’re beating yourself up way too harshly.Yes, the mistake you made could’ve been disastrous, but it wasn’t, and I’m sure you’ll be more careful from now on.You know what’s at stake.”
He was right.Thomas would ensure he never hurt any of the animals here.He’d double and triple-check every dosage.Hell, he might ask Shane to assign someone else to do it.All of this medical stuff was overseen by vets, and for some reason, they trusted Thomas, but he wasn’t sure he trusted himself anymore.
Rowan leaned back.He seemed satisfied with what he’d said, and something told Thomas that as far as he was concerned, the conversation was over.That was why he wasn’t surprised when Rowan started talking about his birth pack instead of focusing on Thomas’s mistake.
“We don’t have this kind of place where I’m from,” he explained.“I don’t think our alpha would ever use pack money for something like this.Of course, he’s very traditional, so there’s that, but still.I think he doesn’t believe that animals are worth it, which is kind of weird considering that we can turn into wolves.”
“Why did you leave?”Thomas asked, happy to have the spotlight away from him.
“Have you ever lived with a traditional pack before?”
Thomas shook his head.“This is my first real pack experience.There was the pack I was with before, but we’ve integrated into the Mayport pack, and we were never a real pack, anyway.We were more like family.”
Rowan nodded.“I’ve heard of small packs like that.It sounds nicer than what I had to grow up with.Don’t get me wrong, it’s good that I had the support and safety of the pack, but it felt restrictive.The alpha is a traditionalist.Hell, I’d say he’s an asshole in some ways.There are no same-sex couples in our pack, for example.He wouldn’t have allowed me to marry a man.He also doesn’t allow any human or other kind of shifter in.It’s wolves, and that’s that.”
Thomas frowned.That wasn’t something he understood, probably because of his family.“Why not?What difference does it make?”
Rowan shrugged.“None, as far as I’m concerned, but like I said, my old pack is very traditional.The alpha’s word is law, and everyone has to submit.I realize that’s how it works with a lot of packs, too, but I wanted more.I wanted something different.”
Thomas could understand that.It didn’t sound like a great place to grow up in, especially since Rowan had mentioned not being able to marry a man.Thomas wasn’t sure if that meant that he was gay, but it certainly hinted at it.Knowing that he would never be able to be with someone he loved as long as he remained with the pack couldn’t have been easy for Rowan.
“Well, I hope you’ll find what you’re looking for here,” he said.
Rowan smiled.“I’ve been freer since I moved here than I’ve ever been in my life.My old alpha always tried to micromanage everything in our lives, but I’m not part of that pack now.It’s a risk, but it gives me the freedom I’ve never had.”
Thomas could see that Rowan was happy from his expression.He couldn’t imagine having to live following rigid rules like Rowan had until recently.It was incredible to him that the alpha hadn’t allowed other species in.None of the people he loved were rabbit shifters.He’d spent the past few years growing closer and closer to dragons, bears, and other species of shifters.He now lived with a pack that was mainly made up of bears, although not entirely, especially since he and his family had moved in.He didn’t care what kind of shifter other people were, just what kind ofpersonthey were.
What would it change if they were a dragon, a horse, or a cow shifter?Nothing, at least not to him.He was glad that Rowan had that now, too.He wasn’t a pack member, but Thomas was pretty sure that he could become one if he wanted to.Chance wasn’t picky about the people he welcomed in.As long as they were good people, he was happy to open the pack to them.Maybe if Rowan realized that he missed being part of a pack, this could be an option for him.
