“You were my best friend’s little sister. That’s a line I wasn’t willing to cross.” He runs a hand through his hair and leans his head back. “I’m sure Miles would have had something to say about it, too. I couldn’t put all of us in a weird situation.”
As if my brother wouldn’t have anything to say now. I know him better than anyone, even Peter. He’ll talk crap for a bit and move on. He’s the most laid-back person I’ve ever known, aside from some of Peter’s brothers.
“Do you think my brother was oblivious? He knew I had a crush on you then, but never said anything about it. Do you honestly think he wouldn’t say anything now?”
I swear, we could go round and round like this.
“He would.”
“So why tell me now?”
“Well, you didn’t give me a chance to tell you when you graduated. You didn’t stay for the summer or anything. Just booked up to Oklahoma and never looked back.” Okay, that stings. Maybe I should have stuck around longer. “But we’re adults now. And you’re here. You bought a house. You’re staying.”
This is the most sure of himself he’s sounded since we reconnected on New Year’s. Any other time he’s tried saying something serious it’s come out in a jumble of words.
“Is that why you did all this?” I wave my hand around to include his house. “So, you could take your shot with me?”
“No.” The word is out of his mouth without hesitation. “I told you it’s because you needed a place to stay. I’m not the type to use subversion to get what I want.”
“Then I don’t understand. It’s not like I’ve been sweet to you since I’ve been back. And I have a kid.” It feels sudden. He’s not that type of person. He makes careful decisions, and doesn’t put himself out there. Not like my brother does when he wants something.
He’s silent for a minute, and I worry I’ve said something to upset him. That’s not what I’m trying to do here.
“I’m not sure what Lexi has to do with anything.” He leans forward again and turns until his eyes meet mine in the light from the TV. I almost wish he would turn the damn thing off. It’s distracting. “But I can’t get you out of my head. Not since the night I brought Alice to you. I was fine living in my little bubble, trying to keep my sister from pushing me out of my comfort zone. Then there you are. No longer the kid who used to tag along with us, but a woman. I don’t know where that leaves us now that you know how I feel.”
How am I supposed to respond to that? I digest everything he’s said. He isn’t saying anything. I know this took a lot for him to voice. If he’s still the same, as he was when we were kids, he doesn’t talk about his feelings. He does what’s asked of him, and that’s it.
“I can’t promise you anything. Relationships aren’t my top priority. Hell, it’s not even in my top three. But maybe we can see where things go.” His face lights up, and I have to take him down a peg. “Once I’m back home and things are a bit more settled. I can’t do this when I don’t have a choice but to be around you. We can be just friends until then.”
“Okay.”
That’s it. With all the sharing he’s doing tonight I figured he’d at least push back. I can’t blame him, though. I didn’t really give him an option. It’s this way or nothing. I need to get my life here, in Asheville, figured out before I can even think about a relationship.
“I’m going to bed now.” I stand and head toward the hallway. “Goodnight.”
“Night.” His voice is soft. Like his admissions took everything out of him.
When I get to the room, I look back before entering. He’s watching me. I’m pretty sure he didn’t take his eyes off me once as I left the living room. The shiver of pleasure that runs through my body at the thought shouldn’t make me happy, but it does.
Peter is already gone when Lexi and I leave the house. If I didn’t have to work today, I’d be sleeping in. He’s not that type of person, though. I’m not sure he knows how to sit still and relax. Not that I have any room to talk. My hands always have to be busy. It’s the whole reason I crochet while watching TV or doing anything that doesn’t require my full focus.
“Do I have to go to school today?” Lexi whines from the passenger seat.
“You haven’t been to school in like a week. Yes, you need to go. Besides, don’t you have plans afterward?”
“Oh yeah.” She snaps her fingers. “I almost forgot about that. We’re going to have so much fun.”
“What are y’all doing?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. But whatever it is, we’ll have a blast.”
“I’m sure you will.” I pull in to the drop off line. “Have a good day at school.”
When we get to the front, she doesn’t immediately jump out like usual. She reaches over and gives me a side hug. “Good luck on your first day at work.”
Now she hops out of the car, slamming the door behind her. She doesn’t realize just how much I need it. I let out a breath and exit the school driveway. Here’s to hoping today goes well. If not, I may get a tub of ice cream to eat as soon as I get to Peter’s house.
Nineteen
